Tuesday, 19 December 2017

Want to Be Happier? Take Your Clothes Off

Science says nudity could make you feel better about your body and your life

Ever let it all hang out on a nude beach? There’s a reason those people are all smiles: Being naked around other people might make you happier, according to a new study from Goldsmiths, University of London.
Researchers surveyed 849 people, and found that those who had spent time in the nude outdoors or with other people—sorry, your girlfriend or family doesn’t count—reported they were happier, felt better about their bodies, and had higher self-esteem than those who didn’t shed their clothes.
Then they did two more experiments, but this time they talked to people before and after they participated in an actual nudist event. The results were similar: Study participants reported improvements on those same wellbeing measures afterwards.
“What we found was a very good correlation, that generally, if you did these activities, the longer you did them and the more frequently you did them, the happier you were about all of these things,” explains study author Keon West, Ph.D., in a video produced by the university.
What’s more, seeing other people naked predicted a more positive body image than being seen naked by others, the study authors wrote. And no, it’s not because you get to stare at a bunch of butts.
According to one participant, seeing other people with “normal, not perfect” bodies helped ease the insecurities they felt toward their own.
So while more research needs to be done to confirm exactly why nudity could make us happier, the findings have the potential to help those with body image problems in the future, West explains.

Thursday, 14 December 2017

7 Ridiculously Simple Things You Can Do to Make Your Partner Happy

These actions may seem small, but she appreciates them the most

Whether you just started dating or she doesn’t flinch when you fart anymore, chances are the moments that make you appreciate your relationship aren’t grand romantic gestures.
It’s the little moments in a relationship that mean the most, says Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., a relationship and family therapist.
For ideas, we turned to seven women who are happy in their long-term relationships. Here’s the number one thing their partners do to make them swoon. 
“My husband and I have been married for more than five years and dated for six years before that. You would think that our relationship would get boring by now, but he reminds me he loves me by writing love notes and putting them in my lunch bag each day. I usually make my lunch before going to bed and somehow he always sneaks it in.” —Denise W., 38
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, and I still get a good laugh from the videos he sends me of himself via Snapchat. And it’s not even like he’s trying to make me laugh. I just love him so much that I crack up out of adoration.” —Kelly W., 26
“We have been married for 10 years and every night our bedtime ritual is to make out like we’re teenagers. We’ve done this on nights when we were incredibly tired and when we were mad at each other. It’s the best. It’s a good reminder of how amazing our relationship is.” —Wendy D., 36
“When something is bothering me, my boyfriend never fails to give me his full attention. He puts his cellphone down and actively listens to me speak. That shows me how much he cares about me.” —Jackie G., 31
“My boyfriend and I just started living together after a year of dating. It’s hard to go from living alone to living with another person, especially since our new apartment is tiny. When I just need some space, I never have to ask for it. He always senses it and goes out for a walk. I know that living together will just keep getting easier.” —Connie S., 27
“My boyfriend lives with three guys and reminds them to keep the toilet seat down when I’m over. It makes me laugh because I never asked him to do that, but he just goes above and beyond to make me feel comfortable.” —Erin A., 25
“My husband calls my mom every week. He has such a good relationship with her and always calls to check up because she’s older and lives alone. It reminds me how much of a caring person he is.” —Hilary W., 37

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

You Probably Trust Your Computer Way More Than You Trust Your Girlfriend

"We are more willing to spread out personal information across the web than we are to divulge facts to a person we are personally getting to know."

When you’re checking out on Amazon, you don’t hesitate to type all your personal information into the boxes that say, “name,” “address,” and “card number.” Why would you? Amazon is a trusted website, and you want that Game of Thrones box set, dammit. But what if the person asking you for this info was someone you're into? Turns out, you'd be way less comfortable sharing even your last name.A new survey has confirmed what we all know to be universally true: People are more willing to dish out personal details to a nameless, faceless computer than to a person they’re actually dating.The 2,000-person survey from Echoworx found that it takes the average American 20 seconds to figure out if an email in their inbox is safe, 28 seconds to see if an online form is safe to input their personal info, and 31 seconds to decide if a website is legit enough to make purchases from with their credit card. (Try these online shopping hacks to get you a better deal every time.)
The most common reasons for revealing personal info? Making online purchases, applying for a mortgage or insurance, or submitting job applications. (Follow these tips to land your dream job.)
But when it comes to potential partners, people need to go on an average of two and a half dates before they're comfortable enough to even disclose their full name. And it takes an average of four dates before they’re willing to reveal their home address, and six and a half dates before they want to approach things like salary. (However, one in three respondents said that they wouldn’t be comfortable talking to someone about the latter no matter how many dates they’d been on.)
“It’s interesting that we are more willing to spread out personal information across the web than we are to divulge facts to a person we are personally getting to know,” a spokesperson for Echoworx told the New York Post. “It’s not that it should be the opposite, but when it comes to things like your social security number and banking details being shared over online channels, it’s necessary to take care.”

Thursday, 30 November 2017

The 5 Best First Date Tips

One type of restaurant could increase your chances of seeing her again by 170 percent
If there’s a scientific formula for a successful first date, this is it: Researchers surveyed more than 2,000 people about what happened on their first dates—and whether those dates led to something more—for Match.com’s annual Singles in America report.

It turns out that certain locations, conversation topics, and even types of cuisine can significantly impact how well your date goes. Work one, two, or all five of these factors into your next first date.
Couples who meet online are 78 percent more likely to make it to date two than people who come together through mutual friends, the study finds.
That’s because most people who use online dating tend to be serious about finding a partner, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., chief scientific advisor for Match and author of Anatomy of Love. It takes effort to use most dating sites, so users are invested in making it pay off.
Taking her to a restaurant may seem unimaginative, but it doubles your odds of seeing her again compared to a more creative outing like a hike or a museum.
Dinner is ideal for a first date because it helps you get to know each other, says Fisher. You’re focused on the conversation, rather than an activity.
“By sitting opposite them, making eye contact, listening to their voice, seeing how they smile, seeing how they listen to you, you can really find out who the person is,” says Fisher.
People who go to sushi restaurants are 170 percent more likely to get second dates than people who have American cuisine, the study finds.
The researchers were stunned at how strong the connection was, so they did some digging for possible explanations in the food itself.
“Fatty fish like tuna and salmon contain omega-3s, which ups circulation and alertness,” Fisher says. “Seaweed has iodine, which can trigger testosterone and sex drive. And wasabi increases your heart rate and can make you flush.”
These physiological changes could make both of you feel more excited during the date.
Another possible reason: People tend to share sushi, rather than just eating off their own plates. That promotes bonding, she says.
You’d think that debating politics with someone you barely know would make for a disaster, but it actually boosts your chances for a second date by 91 percent.
It doesn’t even matter what your opinion is—as long as you have one and can express it respectfully, says Fisher.
Being able to discuss a contentious issue with a level head proves that you’re kind, tolerant, flexible, and empathetic—all qualities that are pure gold to a potential partner, she says. You can also try these Best Questions to Ask On a First Date.
Your odds for a second date start to dwindle if the outing lasts for more than 2 hours and 15 minutes, according to the Match data. It could be that talking to anyone for that long gets tedious, says Fisher.
So part ways before she’s exhausted. Plan a date that includes dinner and one nightcap. But then politely ask her if you can call her a cab or walk her home.

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

'Should You Date Nate' Is a Prime Example of What Not to Do to Get Laid

Take it down a notch or ten, Nate

There's no sugar-coating it: Dating is tough. You can put yourself out there openly, honestly, and confidently in hopes of meeting your soulmate, but there's no guarantee that the universe will reciprocate your efforts. Still, there is a limit to just how direct you should be when you're first trying to meet that perfect partner, and our friend Nate here seems to have found that threshold.
Nate is an accomplished man, you see, but not a terribly nuanced one. Rather than, say, leaving some of himself to the imagination, Nate decided to create a personal website—the aptly-named shouldyoudatenate.com—to help him in his quest to find the love of his life. The website is a feature-length résumé on his professional accomplishments, personal goals, preferences in a partner, you name it. For examples, he's a libertarian and a hard-working entrepreneur; he loves meditating; he considers himself an outsider; and he's 6'4", as he so proudly boasts at the top of the page.
Most important, though, he's offering a free, three-day vacation to the interested woman who sends him a message and strikes his fancy. Ladies, if this manifesto didn't leave you completely weirded out by its conclusion, then you may simply win the prize by default. Needless to say, Nate's attempt at attracting "the One" comes off as, well, a little much. This is certainly one way to earn the attention of the opposite sex, but it doesn't strike us as the most effective method.
But, hey, as Nate himself says, "If you go through your whole life being comfortable, you're doing it wrong." Which is true enough, but we'll also point out that being uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it right.

Saturday, 18 November 2017

8 Women Reveal the Absolute Worst Ways Men Have Tried to Hit On Them

These are the deal-breakers you need to avoid
When you see someone new that you’re into, you have to approach them somehow. And, of course, it can be kind of nerve-wracking.
Most people aren’t receptive to pickup lines (unless, of course, they’re clearly a joke) and there’s no guarantee that what’s worked for you in the past will fly in the future. No one’s saying it’s easy, but sometimes a simple “hi” or “Can I buy you a drink?” can get you pretty far.
If you’re really interested in someone, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to screw things up—and one Reddit user is helping you out with the question, “Women of Reddit, what was the worst thing a man has ever told you in an attempt to hit on/flirt with you?” The answers are amazing in the sense that they are jaw-dropping.
Sure, it's super unlikely you would ever say something this lame, but just in case, here are a few things you should definitely keep out of your pickup game.
“Asked a bartender I work with that question a few years back. She had a kid and was single, and a guy asked her if he could ‘eat her out while rubbing Shea butter over her stretch marks.’ So probably that.” —elephant_on_parade
“A guy told me he was done going out with attractive women and now just wanted to date someone nice instead. Thanks buddy.” —thegirlwholikescats
“I had a guy tell me he worked for the county CIA. Pretty sure that's not a thing.” —Ames0805
"’I've never f—ed a redhead before.’ -guy who did not f—k me.” —CarWashRedhead
“I was at a bar with one of my friends and the guy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder and says that the bartender accidentally gave him an extra drink and he wanted to know if I wanted it. I told him no thanks, I have a drink. He told me he didn't want to waste his money since he was charged for it so I told him to give it to one of his friends next to him. He then laughed and said ‘Why won't you take it? Its not like I'm gonna rape you or anything, I promise its not roofied.’ We left quickly.” —bottle_rockets
“He stole the crutches I needed due to a dislocated kneecap and told me ‘well you can't run away from me now.’" —firestick_and_dick
"If it weren't for your belly you'd be smokin' hot!" —BeckyDaTechie
“Upon finding out that I can't drink because of a medical issue, a guy told me: ‘It must be hard for a guy to flirt with you considering he can't get you drunk and stupid.’ Thanks?” —SalemScout

Thursday, 16 November 2017

Are You Datable or Are You a Fling?

Our sex and relationships writer breaks it down
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make relationships out of booty calls. Because all great relationships are built on a foundation of phenomenal sex and the occasional inside joke, right? (RIGHT?!) I mean, if you’re making me orgasm multiple times a week, why wouldn’t I want to keep you around long term and try to build a solid, lasting relationship with openness, honesty, and commitment. I can totally tell you’d be good at that while your head is between my legs...
Or so I though. Turns out, as I’m coming upon the crest of 30, just because he’s hot and his junk gets hard, doesn’t actually make him “boyfriend material.” Go figure. This may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my 20s. So what then does make a man a potential Mr. Right, versus a potential Mr. Right Now? And which of these two men do you want to be?
To find out, let’s go through the checklist. There are a few key items that women look for when going to enter into a serious relationship. Run down this list and see where you fall. (Note: Phenomenal sex IS a great indicator of a solid relationship, but these other things should probably be in place, too.)
Don’t freak out! I’m not talking about crushing it at the gym six days a week and subsisting solely on boiled chicken breast and protein shakes. Healthy lifestyle means, at the most basic level, do you get up and go to work every day without the lingering scent of booze? Do you pay your bills on time? Do you go to the doctor and at the bare minimum take the measures to ensure you won’t drop dead at 45? Basically, are you a functioning and contributing member of society? If so, congratulations. Consider your lifestyle healthy.
A man who is dateable has some sort of routine to his day, even if that is as simple as he tries to make it to the gym at some point. Structure doesn’t have to mean boring and predictable. He doesn’t have to roll into work at 9:03 and roll out at 5:32 five days a week, nor does he have to have his usual table at Applebee’s. But a modicum of reliability says a lot to a woman who is looking to have a relationship. Can you keep appointments? Can you show up on time? Do you have things that are important to you throughout the day that keep you motivated and focused? Passion, interests, and looking at ways to further them says a lot about the dateability of a man.
Everyone has family baggage and drama. It’s what makes us interesting, and it’s what makes us human. Having issues with your family is entirely normal, and, in fact, expected. But on the whole do you have a relationship with your family? Do you speak to them and visit them somewhat regularly? Not everyone does have a great relationship with their family, for a variety of reasons, so that’s where friendships come into play. A man who is dateable has a strong circle of friends, or at least one or two on whom he can truly rely. Being a loner doesn’t disqualify you from the dateable pool, but it’s important to have at least one or two other people in your world who would care if you went missing for a couple of days.
I wish this went without saying but someone who is dateable shows sympathy and empathy for others. The ability to put yourself in another’s shoes can go very, very far in a relationship, especially when the going gets rough (which, spoiler alert: it often does). Can you fight with your girlfriend in a healthy manner, meaning, after spewing your points and getting angry, can you go back and look at it from her perspective? Can you own where you went wrong, and can you apologize?
No one (I repeat, no one) comes without issues. If you want a partner without issues, I strongly consider investing in an inflatable one. Whether we have phobia of commitment, jealousy problems, trust issues, etc. etc., no adult comes without an instruction manual. A man who is dateable, however, has a firm grasp on said manual and is ready to help with any troubleshooting or customer support. If you are a jealous guy, own it. If you have a fear of commitment, use your words and convey that to your prospective partner. It’s okay to be your flawed and wonderful self, but be aware of your drama so that you can explain to your partner how to decode you. Opening up about your issues and communicating them demonstrate that you have an enlightened sense of self and are interested in being close to another human being.
Some issues we can deal with, and others get in the way of lasting, healthy relationships. Kudos to you if you know what your issues are, but are you amenable to change and compromise? Your issues might not gel with her issues, and vice versa. But if you can strike a balance and find a way to make them jive together, you’ll be a lot happier in the long run.
At a certain age, we all have our lives the way we like them (for the most part). We have our routines, we have our comforts, and we have what we like. A man who is dateable, however, is flexible enough to adjust his precious routine to accommodate a new human within it, and is able to find a way to fit snugly into her life, as well.
Does your penis work? Do you not meet any other requirement on this list? Congratulations. You are just a fling.

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

9 Women Reveal the Worst Things Guys Have Done On First Dates

It’s safe to assume they didn’t get a second
There are plenty of ways to ace the first date: You feel the chemistry immediately. You both love the food at dinner. She compliments your jacket. You make her laugh. Better yet, she makes you laugh. You end the night with a kiss if you’re lucky—and a second date if you’re really lucky.
But one third of Americans don’t enjoy going on first dates, according a recent EliteSingles survey. Of the two thirds of people who do enjoy it, more than 80 percent don’t know what to talk about and about 1 in 5 feel super nervous beforehand. That’s because there are so many ways a first date can just go horribly, horribly wrong: You show up late. The conversation gets awkward. Your card gets declined. You go in for the kiss and she shakes your hand instead.
Or, you could suffer through one of the following scenarios.
“He took me back to his apartment after dinner... to watch him play FIFA. He genuinely thought he was a godsend at FIFA. I texted my friend to have her call me with an ‘S.O.S. You have to come quick!’ scenario. I feel like this is a general consensus amongst most women: Your ‘talent’ at video games does not make us want to become intimate with you. It probably just reminds us of our brothers.” —Brielle, 22
“A Rihanna song comes on and my date said: ‘Getting beaten up by Chris Brown was the best thing to ever happen to her career.’ Mind you, I oversee a domestic violence shelter.” —Heather, 27
“I got coffee with a dude who kept insisting we go back to one of our houses and get me inebriated somehow. Not him, just me—either weed or alcohol, and he wasn’t even subtle about it. He kept asking every 10 minutes if I wanted to go back to my/his place and ‘try some vodka gummy bears or smoke a bowl,’ but he made it very clear that he didn’t plan on getting intoxicated.” —Jenna, 23
“First off, he didn’t tell me it was a date. I legitimately thought we were just hanging out and playing Scrabble because he asked me to via Twitter. Then he invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out with us, which I later found out was his way of showing her he had moved on. I felt used.” —Dylan, 23
“We were supposed to go to a movie on a Friday night. He said his friends kind of wanted to go and asked if any of mine would want to join. It was already Friday night so my friends had plans. He asked if I still wanted to go, so I said sure. I figured he meant just the two of us and he would leave his two other guy friends at home. I figured wrong, and me and him sat in between the two of them for the duration of the movie. It was the worst. Never went out again.” —Maddie, 23
“One time I went on a blind date and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘Is that your real hair color?’ I had been dyeing my hair a dark red for a few months and he actually mentioned something about it… like how do you respond to that?” —Alexis, 22
Try asking her these questions instead.
“The worst thing a guy has done on a first date is blow his nose at the dinner table. 1) How rude! 2) Now my burrito is ruined because of your snot.” —Lauren, 23
“After dinner, he took me back to his apartment and queued up ‘Machine Gun Preacher’ on Netflix—kind of a jarring movie for a first date.” —Jessica, 24
“I once met up with a guy from OkCupid for coffee, and rather than engage in the usual getting-to-know-you chit-chat, he avoided eye contact and kept commenting on people at other tables with snarky remarks about their appearance or topics of conversation. Hearing how judgmental he was within 10 minutes of meeting him was a major turn-off, and I was happy to get out of there when my mug was empty. I’ve been on lots of Internet dates and usually enjoy the conversation, even if I’m not attracted to the guy, but this was the first time I counted down the minutes until it was over.” —Leah, 27

Monday, 6 November 2017

How What You Say on a Date Makes You More Attractive

Intelligence and a good sense of humor can go a long way
When you’re getting ready for a date, you want to look perfect. The inner monologue doesn't stop running through your appearance: Is this shirt wrinkled? Is there anything in my teeth? The list goes on and on. It turns out, your looks aren't necessarily what make you the most attractive to the woman sitting across from you.
Recently, the dating app Plenty of Fish released the findings of Conversation Nation, the largest survey on the topic. More than 2,000 single participants whose ages ranged from 18 to 70 (Up to 70? Did sexagenarians really need to be included here?), and nine out of 10 people believed that a successful date hinged on good conversation.
The top reason conversation makes someone better looking? It’s way easier to be attracted to someone when you aren’t sitting in awkward silence or arguing about politics. Plus it gives you a chance to showcase three attributes women look for when choosing an ideal mate: intelligence, a sexy voice, and a good sense of humor.
Understandably, you’re less likely to find someone attractive if a conversation was completely awful. If you and your date have nothing in common, if they come across rude, or if they don’t share your same values, it’s definitely a turnoff, according to 85 percent of participants.
When it comes to planning a date, you can’t go wrong with suggesting drinks at a local bar or restaurant. And if everything is going well, don’t ruin it by doing something like checking your phone constantly, talking about your ex, or even going outside to take smoke breaks. The survey shows that these actions—especially ignoring your date in favor of texting your buddies—are seen as disruptive and distracting.
If the date went well, call your date to let them know you enjoyed it. More than 80 percent of singles surveyed agree that a phone call constitutes a conversation, and it’s another opportunity to impress them with your communication skills.

Thursday, 2 November 2017

The Diet Change That Helped Me Lower My Cholesterol And Lose My Chronic Dry Cough For Good

Here's how Terry Lipp pinpointed the foods that triggered her most nagging health symptoms—and dropped 22 pounds in the process.
Terry Lipp, age 58, was experiencing mental fatigue and constant dry cough before she tried The Whole Body Cure, which is designed to reverse chronic inflammation. Since trying the plan, she not only fixed those issues, but also lost 22 pounds, reduced her total cholesterol by 42 points to normal range, and reduced her blood pressure from stage 1 hypertension to normal range. Here, she tells her story.
When I joined the test panel for The Whole Body Cure, an anti-inflammatory eating plan, I was at a point where I needed a jump start to get me back on track. I have a young granddaughter, and I want to see her grow up.
During those first 2 weeks, I felt fabulous and was never hungry. You don’t think fruits and vegetables will fill you up, but they do. Honestly, I think that was when I felt best, just eating the fruits and vegetables—I could potentially become a vegetarian. The hardest part during that time was going out to dinner, but I found that restaurants could accommodate my requests. We went to an Italian restaurant, but I saw they could steam vegetables or sauté them in olive oil, so I asked them to bring a vegetable plate. They did, and it was gorgeous. At first my friends and family couldn’t understand why I wasn’t eating garlic bread or a big bowl of pasta. But pretty soon nobody was questioning it because they could see the results. (Do you have an anti-inflammatory diet? Here's why you should.)
I lost 22 pounds and 15 1/2 inches on the plan, and my total cholesterol plummeted from 212 to 170. My glucose level dropped 9 points, and my CRP level went from 3.4 to 0.2. I also definitely feel mentally sharper. I have a lot of multitasking to do at my job, and I found that it just came easier to me. I’m a type A personality, a go-getter whose energy level was already at a 9, but it was definitely a 10 by the end of the 12 weeks. And as far as digestive function goes, I’ve never been so regular or felt so good.
(Many health problems start with chronic inflammation. This natural plan gives you the tools you need to reverse inflammation through what you eat—and heal from head to toe.)
The other dramatic difference I experienced was with allergies. For years I had a constant dry cough—it was so bad my kids used to joke that I sounded like I had TB. Then during the second week, my husband and I both noticed that I hadn’t been coughing. When I reintroduced beef, however, the cough came back. I coughed all 3 days we tested beef, but when I eliminated it, the cough went away. There was just too much of a connection there to be a coincidence! Since then I’ve had almost no beef, the cough hasn’t returned, and my husband says I no longer snore, too.
I had such good results on the plan that I told Dr. Kirshner and his staff I could be their poster girl! It’s led me to make some permanent lifestyle changes. I’ve eliminated gluten, for instance. I don’t eat any bread at all, actually, and I’ve eliminated dairy. I drink black coffee now. I used to love ice cream, but I haven’t had it once. That’s one of the most interesting things to me: I don’t even have a desire for those foods anymore. I’m Italian, and I thought I’d really miss bread and pasta—not to mention ice cream and wine. But I don’t miss any of it. A glass of wine in the evening was a stress reliever after work, but I found my stress level was better when I was eating healthier. My drinking is almost nonexistent now. (Take back control of your health with these clean eating recipes and weight loss tips—all approved by doctors and Prevention editors!)

Monday, 30 October 2017

How to Live to 100: Researchers Find New Genetic Clues

If you live to be 100, you’re in a special group, one that longevity scientists are eagerly studying for clues to battling aging. But are these centenarians long-lived because they don’t get the diseases that fell the rest of us—heart problems, diabetes, dementia, arthritis and more—or because they are protected somehow against the effects of aging? Based on the data so far, most experts have concluded that centenarians get to where they are because they have some anti-aging secret that shields them against the effects of aging. That’s because studies found that centenarians had just as many genes that contribute to disease as those with more average life spans.
But in a paper published in PLOS Genetics, researchers led by Stuart Kim, professor of developmental biology and genetics at Stanford University, questions that dogma. He found that on the contrary, centenarians may have fewer of the genes that contribute to major chronic diseases. That doesn’t mean that people who live to their 100s also don’t possess some protective anti-aging genes as well, but Kim’s study shows that they don’t experience as much disease as people who are shorter-lived.Kim’s team came to that conclusion after conducting a novel type of genetic analysis. Most attempts to look for genes related to aging compare the genomes of centenarians and people with average life spans and pick out the regions where the maps differ. Those are potential targets for aging, but, as Kim notes, they could also be red herrings. “Because you search through hundreds of thousands, and now millions of variants, there is a lot of noise. So it makes it difficult to see the signal amidst all the noise.”
To purify the signal, Kim layered another piece of information on this comparison. He made the assumption that disease genes can reduce the chances of someone reaching their 100s, and focused just on known disease-causing genes in his analysis. “With that, we can make better guesses about what is really bad for becoming a centenarian,” he says.
The filtered analysis pumped out five major regions of interest for longevity. Four are familiar; they involve the gene connected to Alzheimer’s, an area involved with heart disease, the genes responsible for the A-B-O blood type and the immune system’s HLA region that needs to be matched for organ transplants to avoid rejection. These four have known connections to longevity. The Alzheimer’s gene, ApoE, for example, is linked to shorter life span, while the heart disease variants are involved in directing a cell’s life span and the O blood type is known to be connected to better health outcomes and survival.
The fifth region was one that had never been linked to longevity before, and Kim admits that not much is known about how it might contribute to longer life, except that mutations in the gene region can contribute to neurological diseases such as ALS and that in fruit flies, other mutations help the insects to live longer.
“It seems intuitively obvious, that avoiding disease is part of the strategy of becoming a centenarian,” says Kim. “But there is a really, really strong dogma in the field that there was no depletion of disease genes in centenarians, and that all of their survival benefit was coming from protection from anti-aging genes. I think they were wrong.”
Those previous studies that pointed to this anti-aging effect over the effect of fewer disease-causing genes were generally smaller, and might not have isolated the signal from the noise.
Kim’s team shows that the way centenarians reach their second century may involve more than just being blessed with anti-aging genes. “We found that, at least in part, they live longer because they don’t get sick,” he says. He also readily admits that they may also benefit from some anti-aging factor that researchers haven’t uncovered—yet.

Friday, 27 October 2017

7 Creepy Things You Should Never Do When You Meet a Woman

This stuff should be obvious, but judging by this reddit thread, it's not
When you're meeting a woman for the first time, it shouldn't be hard to strike up a simple conversation that doesn't weird her out. Unfortunately, some guys seem to be missing the mark.
That's the only possible conclusion we can draw from a recent reddit thread that asked: "Women, what are common ways unfamiliar men make you uncomfortable or creeped out?" The questioned garnered thousands of responses with tales of intolerable behavior from men, and we've collected some of them here so you can make sure you never, ever follow in their footsteps.
Just stop catcalling. It never, ever works.
From socampo32214: "A stranger cat calling me from his truck the other day when I was driving home. He would speed up or slow down to keep pace with me. Yelling at me through his window and honking his horn. I was finally able to slam on my brakes and he stopped, but how annoying. I'm in Texas and I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to someone because we like our self defense weapons here."
Don't make jokes about a woman’s ethnicity.
From Anomalous_Amygdalae: "Make creepy comments/assumptions because of my ethnicity. When I tell some men about my nationality they go: Ooooooh Latina... And make weird comments involving the word 'Caliente'... Asking me if I like to dance reggueaton (while being in a work environment), as if by being reminded of my heritage, I'll suddenly snap and go Shakira on their dick."
Never touch a woman unless you’re explicitly invited to.
From Corrievrechan: “Overly familiar touching. For instance, I was doing First Aid training in a pretty small class. Just me, one male and one female teacher, and two guys who were also in training. One of the guys would do stuff like put his arm around my waist or shoulder while one of the teachers was talking. I was 15, he was 17 or 18, and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know him at all, and we had barely spoken to each other. I never said anything about it, just waited for the class to end so I would never have to see him again. These days I would yell at a guy who tried that.”
Don't be a social media stalker.
From timmehjimmeh7: "I'm not sure how common this is, but when I took my car in to my dealership for my service, I gave my keys to the mechanic and went inside to wait without saying anything to him. Late that day, I got a friend request on social media. He had apparently taken my professional car file to figure out who I was and find me. This file also has my address and phone, so I was pretty worried and creeped out."
Don't hug when a handshake is more appropriate.
From griffalow: "I work in the television industry and often find myself working with all male crews when filming on location. Most of the men greet each other by hand-shaking, but when it comes to greeting me, nine times out of ten they go in for a hug or kiss on the cheek. It makes me feel as though they're seeing me differently to other members of the crew and that's the part that makes me feel uncomfortable. I obviously want to be viewed as equal, and even though it's a small thing it makes me realize that I'm being seen as different because of my gender. Anyone else experienced this too?"
Don't stare at women's chest. It's rude and creepy—and they know you're doing it.
From Tiredofstandingstill: "When they talk to you and try to look you in the eye but keep glancing at your boobs. I'm not blind and I never have my cleavage out, probably due to people just staring, so now I wear t-shirts with a jumper or coat on and you still catch them trying to look. Pisses me off, I'm covered up and they still perv."
If she's wearing headphones, she doesn't want to talk to you about anything—and certainly not about marriage.
From sociablebot: "One of the worst transit experiences I've had was with someone like this. I was wearing headphones, had my backpack in my seat next to me, and was playing Animal Crossing on my [Nintendo] 3DS. When he asked to sit next to me, I moved my bag because that's what you do on a bus that always gets super crowded even though there were other available seats at the time.
He waited until the bus went express and then starts talking to me. I kept one earbud in and kept playing my game and just giving the same non-answer to everything he asked me. He went from just telling me things about his life to asking about my opinion on arranged marriages and how he should talk to my dad to arrange a marriage with me. Right before he got off, he asked for my Facebook. I told him I didn't believe in social media. I was planning my exit strategy and was going to get off before my stop and go into a building I knew I could get help at. Thankfully he got off a stop before that."

Sex And Sleep Will Make You Happier Than Money Ever Could

A new study has found that making more money has very little effect on overall happiness

Ever think that you'd be so much happier if you were the guy driving down the street in a car that costs as much as someone's house? Turns out, if you're getting quality Zs and have a happy sex life, you're the one winning, man. A new study has found the top indicators of happiness, and money doesn't even hit the top five.
The study conducted by researchers from Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research in Great Britain, asked 8,250 people of varying backgrounds to fill out a 60-question survey to determine what it means to "live well." The questions covered everything — from the state of an individual's sleep quality, finances, and job security to their relationships with friends, family and their community. And the results? They weren't what you'd expect.
The result was the creation of the Sainsbury’s Living Well Index, which generated a list of the top factors that separated the happiest 20 percent from everyone else. In order of biggest influence, sleep quality, sex life, job security, health of close relatives and chatting to neighbors were the top five factors that determined who was actually living well.
Some of these results should come as little surprise, since we already know how a bad sleep schedule affects your health, but the fact that money doesn't rank at the top of the list might. In fact, according to Metro, researchers found that those who had good sleep and a sex life they were satisfied with (no, that doesn't mean loads of sex; although tantra might help) had higher "living well" scores than those people with a high income.
The study found that income had very little impact on a person's perception of well-being. In fact, a 50 percent increase in disposable income only led to a miniscule increase in a person's "living well" score.
That's not to say we should all just quit our jobs to have sex and sleep all day. Being unemployed, suffering from problems with physical and mental health, and lacking a strong support network were the top three factors that separated those who were struggling from feeling like they were living well. So while income may not be important, job security certainly is.
So what does that mean for you? Granted, this research was done on people living in Great Britain, but the country bears many similarities to ours. Bottom line, if you want to be happier, it's time to buddy up with that bed in more ways than one and give those relationships in your life some much-needed attention.
If sleep is your problem, check out these 5 strategies to get some quality z's. If it's your sex life, here are the most common sex problems couples run into— and how to solve them. And if it's your job, don't worry: You can still land the career of your dreams.

Monday, 23 October 2017

5 Carbohydrate Myths That Might Be Standing In the Way Of Your Weight Loss

Carbs are not the enemy
Can you have your carbs and eat them too if you’re trying to lose weight? With all the low-carb diets to choose from, it might seem impossible. But experts say that’s just one of many misconceptions about carbohydrates.
In fact, Stefanie Mendez, R.D., a practicing dietician at The NY Nutrition Group, says low-carb diets are just another dietary fad.
“In the past, fats were out, and now they’re back in with a vengeance. We go back and forth in media and science," says Mendez. "The suggestion is a balance of nutrients is what’s most important."
In other words, she says, we need protein, fats, and carbs in our diet—and losing weight is just about finding the right balance for you. So let’s debunk a few of the most common myths about carbs.
Myth #1: Carbs Make You Gain Weight
Nutritionists agree—this one’s a biggie. “When you cut back on carbs, you could lose weight because you’ve cut out a large number of calories from your diet,” adds Vandana Sheth, R.D., a Los Angeles-based dietitian and spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. 
While it is true that you’ll notice a couple of pounds drop right off when you go low-carb, that’s really just water weight. In the longer-term, low-carb diets may not be the answer to real weight loss. “Low-carb and no-carb diets have not been shown to be more effective at weight loss than a balanced diet,” says Mendez.
The real problem with carbs is that we often don’t know what a portion should look like, so we eat way too much. Most of us should aim for 295 to 425 grams of carbs per day—with a slice of bread, for example, serving somewhere in the ballpark of 15 to 28 grams. “One typical meal can easily provide half of your daily carb allowance. A large blended coffee drink, for example, could add up to 94 grams of carbs,” says Sheth. Instead, spread carbs throughout the day to have a steady source of energy.
Another common pitfall is not balancing carbs with other foods that help you stay satisfied. “We know that carbs have an immediate effect on our blood sugar,” says Sheth, but adding other foods into the mix keeps blood sugar stable. So look at what’s missing from your plate. It should be about half non-starchy vegetables (like cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, spinach); one-quarter protein (meat, fish, poultry, soy); and one-quarter starchy carbs. “If you’re not pairing carbs with fat or protein, you won’t feel full,” says Mendez.
Myth #2: Bread and Pasta Are the Devil
Bread and pasta are not the enemy. Again, it’s the portions and the type of grains you pick that destroy your weight-loss goals. One cup of cooked rice or pasta, for example, has about 45 grams of carbs. “Before you know it, a typical restaurant serving of pasta and garlic bread can get you in the ballpark of 75 or more grams of carbs,” says Sheth.
Mendez agrees. “A lot of people have a hard time pushing it aside and saying it’s too much,” she says. A few tips:
    If you’re eating out, ask your waiter to immediately wrap up half of your plate to-go when you order—that way it’s out of sight, out of mind.
    If pasta or rice is your main dish, skip the bread basket and bulk up your meal with a side of filling salad or vegetables.
    Whenever possible, try and pick a whole-grain option, which has more fiber so you feel fuller for longer.
    At the store, choose bread with at least three grams (and ideally five) of fiber per slice.
Myth #3: All Carbs Are Created Equal
Nutritionists have one thought on this myth: Nope. “Depending upon the fiber content, carbs break down to sugar at a slower or faster pace,” says Sheth.
Get the right kind of carbs by cutting out as many processed and baked goods, sugary drinks, sweets, and added sugars (found in tons of packaged foods) as possible from your diet, since they’re all packed with empty calories. Instead, Mendez suggests choosing whole grains (whole-wheat bread, brown rice, ancient grains like quinoa and bulgur), starchy vegetables (potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, corn, and lentils), and fresh fruit. These have more fiber, which keeps your blood sugar from spiking and dropping—a side effect that will have you reaching for your next bite in no time flat.
Myth #4: Carbs Make You Gassy and Bloated
While it’s absolutely true that some carbs can cause indigestion and gas for some people, it’s simply not the case for many of us. If you have frequent bloating and gas, you could have a different food intolerance (like to dairy or soy), a medical condition like IBS, or you might be downing loads of another gas-causing food (in addition to beans, artificial sweeteners and fibers in sugar-free gum and energy bars are common culprits).
A true allergy to gluten (i.e., celiac disease) causes rashes, itching, vomiting, chronic (often bloody) diarrhea; an intolerance or sensitivity to any food can cause bloating, gas, and diarrhea. If you do think you’re intolerant to wheat—i.e., every time you have pasta or bread you feel sick or bloated—Mendez says you could try to eliminate it from your diet for four to six weeks. “See how you feel, then reintroduce it and see if you feel different,” she says.
Of course, nailing down exactly what’s causing symptoms on your own can be tough. “I wouldn’t write off wheat off right away. See a doctor and rule out other medical conditions that could be contributing to symptoms, then see a dietitian, who can help you keep a food and symptom diary to target foods you should eliminate,” says Mendez.
Myth #5: Low-Carb Diets Are Healthier for You
Just because your diet is low in carbs does not mean it’s healthy. Replacing all fat with bagels and pasta isn’t good for you—and cutting out carbs by eating nothing but bun-less double cheeseburgers isn’t healthy, either. Carbs are your body’s preferred source of energy; not having enough can make you feel sluggish and lead to brain fog, signs of low blood sugar, explains Mendez. Healthy carb-rich foods provide essential nutrients and vitamins like fiber, B vitamins, iron, and folate.
Ultimately, it comes down to finding the right balance of mostly whole and fresh foods. “The research is inconsistent, but the general consensus from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics is that a normal-carb diet is appropriate for most people,” says Mendez. That means getting about 45 to 65 percent of your daily calories from carbs.
If you are planning to switch up your diet, instead of nixing carbs from the get-go you might have more success—and an ultimately more balanced diet—if you start by cutting unhealthy processed carbs and sugars and making lifestyle changes. “Tune into your body’s hunger and satiety cues, and don’t snack when you’re just tired or bored,” says Mendez. After a few weeks, check in with how you feel and how your weight loss is going. You might be surprised at how much weight drops off just by making a few small tweaks.

Sunday, 22 October 2017

7 Ways to Make Sex Even Better

Strengthen your relationship with these bedroom bonding tips

It's no myth that sex, whether kinky or romantic, is a powerful way to increase intimacy with your partner.
Even science says so. During sex, your brain floods your body with hormones and neurochemicals, especially oxytocin, which is best known as the "love hormone"—and with good reason. Oxytocin decreases feelings of stress and dramatically increases feelings of trust, security, bonding, and love, says California-based couples therapist Mary Kay Cocharo, L.M.F.T.
Skin to skin touching triggers the release of these hormones, making stripping down with your partner one of the quickest and easiest ways to deepen your relationship. Want to take things a step further? Here are seven simple—and sexy—things that will make your next romp more intimate.
Be vocal.
Keeping quiet during sex means you’re missing out on an opportunity to build your bond with your partner. Tell them what feels good and what doesn't—and vocalize the pleasure you're experiencing, Cocharo says. “Whether it's through words or moans and groans, you want to show that you're in the present moment with each other.”
Breathe deeply.
Breathing deeply communicates pleasure and doing so in tandem with your partner can help heighten arousal, Cocharo explains. “In tantric sex, we teach people to breathe together to create more connection and more eroticism.”
Avoid distractions at all costs. Make sure the television is off and your phone is silent—your texts and voicemails can wait. During sex, you and your partner should be solely focused on each other, says Cocharo. If you're not, you're missing out on an opportunity to bond, or even worse, you risk offending your partner.
Remove pets from the bedroom.
A lot of people sleep with their pets in their bed, but it can be a major buzzkill to have your dog or cat staring at you while you have sex. Not to mention, really awkward.
“If you're trying to look into your partner's eyes and you glance over, and your dog's looking into your eyes, it kind of breaks the mood,” Cocharo points out.
Snuggle with your pets later.
Make your bedroom a work-free zone.
You sleep in your bedroom, and you have sex in your bedroom. It's not, however, a place to do work, pay bills, or talk on the phone, says Cocharo. She suggests removing computers and charging your cellphone overnight somewhere else. They will only distract you from paying attention to your partner.
Open your eyes.
Try focusing on making eye contact next time you're in bed. “There is neuroscience that shows that when two people gaze into each other's eyes, at a close distance—say 18 or 20 inches—that the reactive part of the brain, the limbic brain, calms and allows people to experience a deeper connection,” Cocharo explains.
Just be conscious about breaking that stare if it starts to feel awkward. You don't want to kill the vibe by bordering on creepy.
Plan a romantic evening.
Let's put it like this: Not every meal needs to be a five-course dinner. A quick burger can really hit the spot sometimes, but too much fast food is never a good thing, either.
During sex, not every romp needs to be quick and intense, sometimes you need to slow down and savor the intimate moments, too. That takes time and requires some planning on your part, Cocharo says. So make sure you carve out time for foreplay and set the mood—she'll notice the effort.

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Here's the Major Reason Why Dating Apps Aren't Working for You

A new study says that apps that uses sophisticated algorithms to determine compatibility are less reliable than you think
If you've ever gone a date with someone you met online and they rejected you by saying, "it's not you, it's me," we have good news: they weren't lying, and it might not have been your fault. In fact, the authors of an August study have determined that dating app algorithms basically can't predict compatibility at all.
The authors of the Psychological Science study tested their own questionnaire-based attraction algorithm and discovered that their well-educated guesses couldn’t predict anything about what would happen after two strangers actually met for the first time.
To find out whether algorithms could predict mutual attraction, the researchers used 100 self-reported traits and partner preferences (for instance, "I enjoy binge-watching Game of Thrones") to predict a degree of variance in the choices of two strangers who then met in real life for four-minute speed dates. While the researchers didn’t specify whether the algorithm was based on a particular dating app, it sounds pretty similar to the one used by OKCupid, which uses a complex set of data to determine your compatibility with another user. (Here are the biggest mistakes you're making on Tinder, by the way.)
Using the statistical model, the researchers were able to predict fairly well the degree to which someone desired another person, and they were also able to somewhat accurately predict the degree to which someone else liked them. However, after researchers talked to both parties after the date ended, their responses were completely unpredictable, especially when it came to determining whether they were interested in pursuing a relationship with each other.
Dating apps and websites often boast about the efficacy of these secret sauce algorithms. But when you actually compare an algorithm’s predictions and speed daters' actual assessments of each other, it's clear that all the swiping in the world isn't all that effective. So basically, if you really want to use dating apps, don’t put too much stock in personalized questionnaires that promise to find your Mrs. or Mr. Right.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Lose Your Belly Fat

Your step-by-step plan for making your gut disappear
There's a secret every trainer in Hollywood knows, and it's one you should know, too: "The fastest way to look like you've packed on 20 pounds of muscle is to lose 10 pounds of fat," says Alan Aragon, M. S., the Men's Health Weight-Loss Coach and the coauthor of The Lean Muscle Diet. That's because the closer you come to removing the lard that covers your six-pack, the more defined every muscle becomes, making you look buff all over.
Which is why I've spent a lot of time trying to lose my last 10 pounds of flab. Unfortunately, like many men, I've found that goal to be frustratingly elusive. That is, until I enlisted the help of Aragon, whose nutrition and training methods have shaped the bodies of NBA athletes, Olympians, and competitive bodybuilders.
Using Aragon's advice, I slashed my body fat in half—down to a lifetime low of 6.8 percent—and sculpted not only the muscles of my midsection, but the ones everywhere else, too. Now it's your turn. Use Aragon's simple 5-step diet plan to finally finish off your gut for good. (And for Aragon's complete cutting-edge guide to losing fat, check out the The Lean Muscle Diet, available everywhere books are sold.)
When it comes to calories, Aragon has a simple rule: Eat for your target body weight. Let's say you weigh 220 pounds but would like to tip the scales at 180. You'll adopt the calorie intake of a 180-pound man
The formula: If you perform 1 hour or less of exercise a week, multiply your target body weight by 10. That's how many calories you should consume daily. However, if you work out more than that, add 1 to the multiplier for every additional hour you train. So if your target body weight is 180 pounds and you exercise for 3 hours a week, you'd multiply 180 by 12—giving you a target of 2,160 calories a day. You can divide those calories into however many meals you want—three, four, five, or six—as long as you don't eat beyond your daily limit.
Sure, you could just focus on calories. But by eating the right amounts of the right nutrients, you'll speed your results without feeling like you're on a diet.
You probably don't need to be sold on the virtues of protein, since it's the raw material for muscle growth. But it also helps extinguish your appetite and aids in fat loss.
The formula: Eat 1 gram for every pound of your target body weight. If you want to weigh 180 pounds, you'll eat 180 grams of protein. One gram of protein is about 4 calories. So to calculate the calories you'll be eating from protein, multiply the number of grams by 4. In this case, that's 720 calories.
For years, this nutrient was considered a dietary demon. However, recent studies clearly show that it's not fat that inflates your belly, but too many calories, period. And, it turns out, fat may actually keep you from overeating because it makes you feel full. The end result: You stop eating sooner and stay satisfied longer.
The formula: Eat half a gram for every pound of your target body weight. If your goal is to weigh 180 pounds, that'd be 90 grams. And since 1 gram of fat has about 9 calories, that's 810 calories from fat. This will be about 40 percent of your total calories.
Carb-containing foods not only taste good, but can also be rich in vitamins and minerals. So you don't need to eliminate them altogether; you just need to make sure you don't eat them in excess. And consuming the right amounts of protein and fat will make that goal far easier, since both keep hunger at bay. That's one key reason Aragon places a greater priority on protein and fat and leaves the remainder of your calories for carbs.
The formula: Add your calories from protein and fat, and subtract that total from your allotted daily calories. Using the 180-pound example, that leaves you with 630 calories. This is the amount of calories you can eat from carbs. As protein does, carbs provide about 4 calories per gram—so divide your carb calories by four to determine how many grams of carbs you can eat. In this case, it's about 158 grams.
Build your diet around whole foods—those you'd find in nature. You should choose mainly meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes, plus grain products that are made with 100 percent whole-wheat flour. Note that typical junk foods—candy, baked goods, and sugary drinks—don't make the list.
Use the food options below as a guide for designing your diet. Mix and match the foods in any way you like while following the calorie, protein, fat, and carb guidelines for your target body weight. The nutrition numbers listed don't provide exact amounts of calories and other nutrients, but these ballpark averages allow you to eyeball your intake.
Follow these rules to make your eating plan even more effective.
1. Consume at least 2 servings of vegetables a day. Vegetables are low in calories and high in belly-filling fiber.
2. Eat at least 2 servings of fruit a day. Fruit provides your muscles with plenty of carbs for energy, but has less impact on your blood sugar than grains and other high-starch foods do. This is important because it can help you avoid the cravings and binges that occur when your blood sugar rises quickly and then crashes. Ideally, the majority of your carbs will come from fruits and vegetables. So limit yourself to just two daily servings of grains, beans, and high-starch vegetables, and consume the rest of your carbs from produce.
3. On the days you work out, eat 1 hour before you exercise and again within 60 minutes after your last rep. For both meals, aim for 0.25 gram per pound of your target body weight in protein and carbs. So if your goal is to be 180 pounds, you'd eat 45 grams of each nutrient. This provides your muscles with a healthy dose of nutrients for fueling your workout and for upgrading your muscles after you're done. Keep in mind that your total protein and carb intake for the day doesn't change; you're just eating strategically for better results. Options are:
A preformulated shake, that has a mix of protein and carbs. Add fruit if it requires more carbs.
A shake that's almost entirely protein—such as Optimum Nutrition Whey—along with 1/2 cup of oatmeal and a piece of fruit.
A tuna-salad or turkey sandwich.
One meal a week, go ahead and splurge. "There's always room for junk food, as long as it's a minority of your intake," says Aragon.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Plus: How to make some of your fantasies come true!
We all have personal preferences in the bedroom, some very common and others illegal in Texas. Still, we all deserve for some of our desires to become reality.
How do you make it happen?
The best way: Talk to your girlfriend or wife well before you attempt the act.
Here’s what most women think about 10 of your top sexual fantasies.
She thinks: “Of course you do. Keep dreaming.”
Despite what you saw in Saturday Night Beaver, most girls don’t want to enter this territory. Granted, we can appreciate the female form.
And we’re not horrified at the thought of being in the same room with another naked woman. But what if we asked you to be with another guy? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The thing is, we’d always wonder whose company you were enjoying more. We might not admit it, but it’d cause some insecurity on our part. Get this out of your system before you enter a committed relationship, okay?
She thinks: “Ooo, in what?”
Ask me to put on a squirrel costume and I might crush your nuts. Hey, some people are into that stuff!
If the costume has to be rented from hotmascots.com, it’s probably a no-go. It takes courage to dress up (some of us are not thrilled with our bodies) but we want to feel sexy for you.
As long as we feel good in it, or you make us feel good in it, there won’t be a problem here.
She thinks: “What else is new?”
Some girls really enjoy giving oral. If your girlfriend doesn’t, it may be that she’s not comfortable or confident with her technique.
Make her comfortable—and not by grabbing her head. Reassure her, tell her she does it the best, and guide her if you want something different.
Also, I believe it was Jesus who said give and ye shall receive. So give, often and well. Ye shall receive.
She thinks: “Ouch!” (and clenches her butt cheeks)
Listen fellahs, this is a gift. If you want it, you have to earn it. This will likely be more “thrilling” for you than her.
Hey, some girls are good to go, and enjoy it. Others, well, want some time to ease into that stage of a relationship. You know, the stage when she may drop a turd on your bed and you’ll love her anyway. Yeah, that stage.
Anal isn’t for the feint of heart, especially if you've had Mexican for dinner. Before you go there, watch The Truth about Anal Sex.
She thinks: “Um, what? Why?”
Hey, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
The rule here is simple: Ask permission before you do it.
She thinks: “Awkward!”
Sorry, guys, but this is something we’re used to doing on our own, and in our own way. Though we understand why you’d enjoy watching, it can be super-awkward for us.
Your best bet: While you’re pleasing her, grab her hand and encourage her to show you what she likes. And definitely tell her how amazing she looks doing it.
She thinks: “You go first.”
Use common sense here, guys. Ease in, and take it from there. Tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is. She’ll follow your lead and probably get into it.
She thinks: “Adventurous!”
But let it happen spontaneously. That is the fun of it. If you plan for it, the thrill is gone. In fact, she may get cold feet if she has too long to think about it. Keep her on her toes!
And try not to get arrested. Jail-cell sex isn’t nearly as hot.
She thinks: “Sure!”
She may not want to admit it, but some girls are just as turned on by porn as you are. Not the college-girl show-me-your-titties kind, but the grownup kind.
We understand that you’re going to watch it anyway, and it’d be more fun to watch with you and reap the benefits!
She thinks: “Can I trust you?”
It’s not posing that puts us off. It’s the prospect of showing up on YouPorn—or, frankly, your buddy’s iPhone.
Bottom line: This takes loads of trust. No matter how in love we are at the time, we know that not all love lasts forever. But pictures and videos sure do!

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

9 Things Happy Couples Always Do Before Bed

"I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex, it can severely damage the connection in a relationship."
Routines get a bad rep when it comes to romance. (Cue images of eating dinner in front of the TV and passing out before you can even think about getting frisky.) But that's not necessarily the case. Plenty of happy couples will tell you that routine isn't the enemy—in fact, establishing a nightly habit can help strengthen your bond and make you even happier. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the secret to staying out of a relationship rut might actually be to establish a daily routine.
To dig a little deeper, we asked real women about the evening habits that help keep their relationships going strong. Their tried-and-true nightly activities are just a few examples of one or two things you can do to strengthen your own relationship. The benefits may surprise you.
1. Treat each other.
“Almost every night, we have ice cream or frozen yogurt treats. It's a little thing to see who volunteers to go downstairs and to the back of our big old house to the freezer to get them each night. Partway through whatever we’re watching that evening, one of us will ask, ‘Did you say something about popsicles?’ and the other will make the trek downstairs to the freezer where we keep a stock of frozen treats, and grab a surprise for the other. We settle in on the couch with our popsicles and our pups and just enjoy the downtime together. After 20 years of marriage, it's as much about the everyday tiny things as it is the grand gestures—if not more so!" —Dana, M., married 20 years
2. Take a stroll.
"We normally spend all our evenings together. We both work at home and a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood is a good end to the work day and start to the evening." —Linda M., married 16 years
3. Get it on.
“If we've gone more than a week without having sex, we both make a point to make time for that. I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex (like more than two to three weeks unless you physically can’t, due to illness or being apart) it can severely damage the connection in a relationship. Even when I couldn't have vaginal intercourse after giving birth, I think we probably waited only two to three weeks and then, let's just say, we got creative with non-vaginal sex...” —Kaitlin S., married six years
4. Spend quality time in the kitchen.
“Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks. When one of us gets home, the other always fixes the other a drink (usually not alcoholic, could just be sparkling water with lemon!) and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.” —Ashley W., married two years
5. Turn TV time into together time.
“Our weekday evening habits are to watch the evening news with a plate of olives and other noshes then have dinner. Afterward, we watch TV. I love our binges! It still feels like a real treat to sit and watch and snuggle.” —Lisa D., married six years
6. Make time together a “chore.”
“When schedules get busy and we are coming home and eating at different times, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of launching into tasks. These bills need to get paid, this mail needs to get sorted, these dishes need to be washed. We try to make sure that some together time is also on the agenda.” —Naomi N., married six months
7. Make pillow talk more meaningful.
“At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for. We also sleep holding hands.” —Echo G., married 35 years
8. Tuck each other in.
“We usually go to bed at the same time, but on the nights we don't, the person staying up always tucks the other in. It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. It helps us connect—especially when we’re both swamped with work. —Kelli B., married one year
9. Schedule a regular night out.
“I never really understood the concept of having regular "date nights" after marriage, but now I totally get it! Going out really encourages conversation and forces you to relax and just spend time together in a way you don't when you're sitting around at home. I love having dinner at home with my husband, but there's a huge difference between eating and then quickly getting up to do the dishes and clean up as compared to just enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant. I think doing fun things together is a great way to keep your marriage enjoyable and healthy.” —Zara H., married one year

Sunday, 24 September 2017

5 Ways to Satisfy Any Woman

I was having a conversation with a guy the other day—and although this conversation may have taken place over copious amounts of beer, it was a very intriguing one, and I remember it clearly.I was having a conversation with a guy the other day—and although this conversation may have taken place over copious amounts of beer, it was a very intriguing one, and I remember it clearly. Can’t say much more for the rest of that day/evening.
This guy confessed that he had a rule in the bedroom: “The girl has to come first.” While I was at first charmed by his need to please a woman and put her needs before his own, I was also nervous at the thought of being the girl under that rule! The whole “who comes first” situation is a tricky one.
Take scenario A for example: You're nearing the peak and hoping your lady is at the same point. Pressure her to get there with you, and you run the risk of taking the pleasure out of it for her. Here’s a secret: That pressure to cum on cue is a big reason why women fake it.
Or scenario B: What guy wants to burst his joy too soon? This has been thought to be one of the worst things that can happen to a man in the moment.
After all, don’t women want to be pleased every time? Haven’t you been guided through many articles about the importance of pleasing her to first?
I’m guessing that for some guys, this leads to relentless worry of climaxing too soon—ahead of your lady, with images of her turning her head unsatisfied after you’ve finished.
While I can’t put myself in your shoes in that situation, I can tell you how I see it. And it might surprise you—or at least give you some relief. (Ahem.)
1. As expected—and cheesy as it may sound—we women like the experience of sex. We like the intimacy. We love to feel your body against ours. We love to feel like you want to explore and enjoy every inch of us. We love to feel completely desired. I am telling you that this alone fulfills a need for us that may be difficult to express. (#) We want to know that you want to take the time to make out with us and to partake in foreplay. Foreplay doesn’t have to equal an orgasm though!
2. If you pressure me, I will probably just fake it because I don’t want to deflate your ego. Honestly. Sometimes we just can’t get there, ya know? Just the same as you, right? (##) Hey, it depends on the day, what happened at work, where I am hormonally, and how sexy I am feeling. Adding the pressure—the pre-determined rule that she must come first—completely breaks the mood and, most times, any chance of me having the mind blowing orgasm you had hoped for.
3. Take it as it happens. So what if you blow your love joy super quick—find a way to redeem yourself. You shouldn’t be approaching sex with the anticipated notion that both parties are going to orgasm. Yes, in a perfect world, that would happen. But frankly, it just doesn’t. You know in the movies when the couple climax at the same time in unison and complete satisfaction? That’s bullshit. I mean this genuinely: Just enjoy the moments. Make her feel wanted, and give her the intimacy she craves. There can be genuine satisfaction in knowing that you have lost control over her. (###)
4. If you want a girl to climax, make it about her. We like to feel special, so surprise us after work with a massive makeout session and some serious oral action. Don’t make it clearly about wanting to please her—just please her and keep your boy out of it. When it comes to sex, saying things doesn’t always help—doing things does. So when you say, “I am going to make you orgasm,” you’re not helping yourself—or us. Although we appreciate your tenacity and determination, you should probably just make us climax—and not give us the play-by-play. (####)
5. Give her what she needs. I am not an extreme cuddler, but I can appreciate the brief, genuine cuddle session after loads have been blown (or not blown). Don't jump out of bed to air your unit in front of the air conditioner, (#####) and run off to play video games. Clean up and settle in for a second. That is what she needs. She needs you to give her that little bit of time without your joystick jabbing her in the crotch, even if just for a very brief moment. Hey! This could also be the perfect time to talk to her and get to know what makes her tick! Communication is hot. Your end game is to make her feel amazing, right?(######)
From the Peanut Gallery
#—OK, that’s great to hear. But to be clear, misguided or not, plenty of us guys are just overcorrecting for all the cavemen out there who take the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” approach that so many women complain about! (And believe us, lots of women complain!)


###—Duly noted.

####—In other words: “Shut up and get to work, boy!”

#####—Good lord, Kate, what kind of freaks have you been dating?

######—That makes at least two really good points in one blog post, Kate! A record!

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Sex Tip: Touch Her Here

There are ways to be touched that are brilliant and other ways that are kind of blah. If there's one thing we know about the way people touch each other during sex it's that they often touch their partner the way that they, themselves, like to be touched rather than finding out how their partner likes to be touched.
Although there's a lot of variability in how people like touch, it tends to be the case that men - whose genitals are covered in skin and less sensitive than women's - tend to prefer rougher forms of touch. More thrusting, more vigor. Whereas women - whose genitals are more vulnerable and some ways and more sensitive  in some spots (hello, clitoris!) - tend to prefer less aggressive touch. Women often prefer gentle tongue flicks on the clitoris or gentle but first stimulation of their genitals. Again, this isn't always the case - there are no clear gender rules in sex - but generally speaking this is often how things fall out.
So when men and women get together, we sometimes find that men get "grabby" with women's bodies and women are sometimes too soft or gingerly when they give hand jobs, with men asking them to squeeze a little harder. Lesson learned: rather than assume you know how your partner likes to be touched, ask him or her! Or try a few moves and ask for feedback ("does this feel good? would you like to be touched harder? softer? faster or slower?" etc). Got it? Good. Now go have some fun out there.

Sunday, 4 June 2017

The First Thing You Must Do in Bed

Check this off and it'll make the rest of your romp better
Generosity for the win: Focusing on what she craves in the sack also increases your arousal, says research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Researchers studied “sexual communal strength”—the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs—in long-term couples. Both parties filled out daily sex surveys for 3 weeks. Four months later, generous lovers  reported higher levels of daily arousal AND more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.
"There's a lot of research out there that suggests giving to others is good for the self," says lead study author Amy Muise, Ph.D., of the University of Toronto, and that effect is even stronger with a romantic partner. Plus, Muise says, knowing you can satisfy your partner's needs is a major confidence booster.
But zeroing in on her desires at the exclusion of your own won't deliver the same outcome, says Muise. The solution: Aim for compromise. If you usually perform oral sex on her because she loves to incorporate it into foreplay, see if she's up for something you want, like shower sex or a morning quickie before work. That way you'll both feel accounted for, Muise says.

Friday, 21 April 2017

12 Sex Secrets Women Wish You Knew

Be a better lover tonight

We scoured the latest studies, grilled dozens of experts, and polled more than 700 women to come up with this enlightening list of 12 rules guaranteed to make you a better lover—tonight.
By turning her fantasies into reality, she'll be more likely to agree to act out your wildest sex dreams.And she'll want sex more often, so things will only get better every time you get naked with her.
1. Greater Focus Leads to Hotter Sex
What's the best way to unlock a woman's wildest desires in bed?
"Passion," said 42 percent of the women we surveyed.
"That means being in the moment and not being distracted," says Joel Block, Ph. D., a Long Island-based psychologist and the author of Secrets of Better Sex. "Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry."
A woman takes attendance during sex in many ways, and the strongest signal you can send comes from your mouth. More than 90 percent of women we surveyed said a man's primal panting turns them on.
But use words over Tarzan grunts, if you can.
"You want to reassure her, 'Do that more,' 'That feels so good,' or 'Oh, I love that,' " says Logan Levkoff, Ph. D., a New York City-based sexologist and the author of Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be. Beyond giving her a confidence boost, the extra sensory seduction intensifies the experience.
Nonverbal communication is important, too.
Bursts of eye contact, lip nibbles, and any other kind of physical or verbal communication shows her she's the one pushing your buttons, not some fantasy fembot in your head.
If the soulful eye lock's not for you, bury your face in her neck, run the tip of your tongue from her collarbone to her earlobe, and whisper why she's driving you crazy.
2. Foreplay Can Be the Main Event
"'Foreplay' is a terrible word becase it implies that it's leading to something more important," says sexuality counselor Beverly Whipple, Ph. D., R. N., a coauthor of The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. "You'll both have more fun if you think of it as sex play and make it about discovering and enjoying each other, not just reaching the finish line."
The women we surveyed agreed: Two in five said their last orgasm occurred during foreplay itself, not intercourse.
What's more, when asked to rank their partners' bedroom skills, the women's top two complaints were a lack of sexual creativity and subpar manual sex skills, in that order. Ouch.
Your move? Tell her you want to go three sack sessions sans penetration.
Ditching the same old script—foreplay, sex, cuddling—will help your creative instincts spring to life.
Bonus: Sexual novelty re-creates those early-relationship, take-me-now hormones, says psychiatrist Daniel Amen, M. D., the author of Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life.
3. Pleasure Isn't Satisfaction
The good news is you can give a woman both.
In a Kinsey Institute study, both women and men agreed that sex without condoms feels better—but women said using protection actually helps them feel more satisfied overall in the sack.
Even those using hormonal birth-control methods felt the effect: When they used condoms, they reported a 17.5 percent higher rate of overall satisfaction with their sex lives.
Why? This one's a no-brainer. When women worry less (say, about STDs), they enjoy themselves more.
Our pick for the condom that packs both pleasure and satisfaction: the Kimono MicroThin Ultra Lubricated . It's just 0.049 millimeters thick, about 20 percent thinner than others on the market, its makers claim.
4. "Gentle" Means More Than That
"That word is a woman's code telling you to be more sensitive to her cues," says Block. The more nerve-dense the hot spot is on a woman's body, the more careful your approach should be.
Clitoral contact in particular feels abrasive without a proper warmup, says Lou Paget, a sex educator and the author of How to Be a Great Lover.
If a woman yips or inhales suddenly when you go there—instead of purring or moaning—you've jumped the gun.
(For a step-by-step breakdown of how to bring her to orgasm with oral sex, check out How to Pleasure a Woman.)
Use indirect stimulation first, paying careful attention to her reactions as a guide.
The nerve-packed clitoris actually extends several inches under the skin on either side of her vagina (like a wishbone), which means you can massage it without direct pressure to the bud. Trace the extensions with flat, wide, extra-wet tongue strokes or slow finger zigzags. (Don't forget lube.) Then rub a slow spiral around the top, drawing closer with each pass.
The combo of anticipation and indirect contact will bring her pleasure centers to life.
If she coos, you've found her sweet spot. If she fidgets or gasps, take a step back.
5. Climate Is Crucial For Climax
Egyptian cotton and dimmer switches can't hurt, but your love chamber's thermostat is just as important, according to Dutch sex researchers.
"At the beginning of our trials, only 50 percent of our female subjects were able to reach orgasm," says study author Gert Holstege, M. D., Ph. D., chairman of the center for uroneurology at the University of Groningen, in the Netherlands. "But we learned they were uncomfortable because they had cold feet. We gave them socks, and 80 percent reached orgasm."
The socks aren't the secret, though.
"The amygdala and prefrontal cortex—the brain areas responsible for anxiety, fear, and danger signals—strongly decrease their activation during orgasm," says Dr. Holstege. "A pleasant environment, which includes the room temperature, is an important part of making her feel safe, secure, and comfortable," he adds.
"Imagine the ideal day at the beach," says Tristan Taormino, director of Vivid Entertainment's porn series Chemistry. "You want it just warm enough that she's happy to shed a layer or two, but not so hot that you'll end up drenched once you exert yourself."
6. Positions Need a Purpose
"There's no need to be overly fancy during sex—the very best positions are the ones that focus on the clitoris," says Levkoff.
Want to amp up her pleasure without risking a hamstring cramp? Ditch the flesh pretzel for these modified standards.
They're all designed to boost stimulation to her clitoris, which has even more nerve endings than the head of your penis.
Missionary: Instead of in-and-out thrusting, "have her grind against you in circles," says sex expert Tracey Cox, author of Secrets of a Supersexpert. "Keep as much of the base of your penis in contact with her outer lips as possible." Another option: Place two or three pillows under her butt to lift it off the bed at an angle. You'll rub against her more when thrusting.
Girl on Top: Make a V with two fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down on either side of your penis as she rides you. "This will stimulate the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra—as well as add intensity for you," Cox says.
Doggy-Style: "Have her lift her butt up or spread out your legs to move down and touch the supersensitive vaginal wall," Cox says. Then reach around to play with her clitoris using your fingers. (Use a small vibrator for extra intensity.) For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, "keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast."
7. Club Orgasm Isn't "Members Only"
Only one in five women we surveyed said their last orgasm came during penetration. "Most younger women want their partners to slow down and use their hands and mouths more," explains Juliet Richters, Ph. D., an Australian sex researcher who surveyed more than 19,000 people for her book Doing It Down Under.
In her survey, more than 90 percent of women were able to reach orgasm when their partners used only oral and manual stimulation. Here's the rub: Fifty-two percent of the women we surveyed said they've made a guy stop because they were afraid of taking too long.So how can you be sure she's not letting you off easy? "Say 'I love doing this, I could do this all day. Are you sure you want me to stop?' " Whipple says.
If you're the one worried about 20-plus minutes of exhausting tongue-lapping, though, "don't go faster—it won't make her reach orgasm sooner," Cox says. "If anything, slow down. The gentler and slower and more consistent you are, the quicker she'll arrive."
Another option: Enlist help. A small vibrator on her clitoris and your moist lips everywhere else should do the job.
8. Don't End Quickies With "Thanks!"
Only half of all women can reach orgasm when sex lasts 10 minutes or less, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. "That means during a quickie, you'll probably finish and she won't," says Levkoff.
If she doesn't orgasm, make sure you'll have access to future rapid-fire sessions by saying, "Later tonight, it's going to be all about you."
Then follow through on that promise. Leave her hanging too many times, and she won't stick around for long.
9. The G-Spot Has Friends. Find Them
You're goal-oriented. Good.
But the G-spot and the clitoris aren't the only bull's-eyes.
"The most recent anatomical research suggests that the clitoris is perhaps better described as the 'clitoral complex,' where the vagina, urethra, and clitoris all function as a unit rather than as individual parts," explains Kinsey Institute researcher and Men's Health columnist Debby Herbenick, Ph. D.
Try working that clitoral complex by hitting multiple hot spots at once. Some researchers believe there's something called an A-spot, located far inside the vagina on the side closest to her belly button.
"Stroke this spot and she'll lubricate almost instantly," Cox says. "Put one lubed finger into her vagina as far as it will comfortably go. Use the whole length of your finger to explore the front wall of her vagina."
Now triple the sensation: Stick both index and middle finger inside her, and stick out your thumb like you're hitchhiking. It'll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both A-spot and G-spot simultaneously.
Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.
10. "Ready" Is All Relative
"Just because a woman is lubricated doesn't mean she's ready for sex," says Richters.
Your woman's real prime time comes once she reaches a phase of arousal called "uterine tenting."
It's just like it sounds: The uterus backs out of the way and the vagina grows in length by as much as an inch.
"You'll experience deeper penetration, and the vagina will provide an intense grip to the head of your penis," says Barbara Keesling, Ph. D., a lecturer on human sexuality at California State University at Fullerton and the author of Men in Bed. "The orgasms are incredible."
Keesling says the best position is the butterfly: "Have her lie on her back and pull her knees up to her shoulders, tilting her pelvis so her vagina points up almost to the ceiling," she says.Since tenting can take anywhere from 30 seconds to, well, forever, focus on synchronizing the stimulation between your penis and her outer lips before entering her.
Lie pressed against each other with your penis snug between her legs, allowing her to slide and rub against you while you use your hands and mouth elsewhere. The warm, slick, and firm contact will bring her to a boil in no time.
11. Want to Have Sex? Do the Dishes
"If a woman is distracted by anything—work, lack of sleep, chores, a fight she had with a friend—it can interfere with her arousal," says Whipple.
Seven in 10 women we surveyed said helping around the home was a turn-on, but men do only about 30 percent of the chores, according to the Council on Contemporary Families.
The women we surveyed said they'd be most grateful if you did the dishes, cooked dinner, and did the laundry, in that order.
Score bonus points: Don't brag.
12. Don't Make Orgasm Your Only Goal
Desperation sinks her sex drive: A 2008 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that stress about sexual performance significantly decreases female arousal.
"Whatever you do, don't look up and ask, 'Are you close?' or 'Did you come?'" Whipple says. "It's distracting, and it adds unnecessary pressure."
See if you're on the right track by asking questions such as, "Do you like that?" and "Should I keep doing that?" instead.
And if you're waiting for her to reach orgasm during penetration, it's sometimes better to finish first, rather than holding out for half an hour.
"Women don't have orgasms every time, and they know it's not necessarily their partner's fault," Whipple says.
So take turns, Levkoff says. "You can always go back and use your hands and fingers to please her, if she's still turned on."