Friday, 31 March 2017

30 Ways to Have More Sex

Add some va-va-voom to your bedroom
MAKE SEX A FIVE-LEVEL ADVENTURE
Why It’ll Work: You have a lot of tricks at your disposal when you slip between the sheets. Why not use them all?
According to a study of 3,990 people at the University of Indiana, when couples performed four different sex acts—including different types of foreplay and vaginal penetration—the woman reached orgasm 76 percent of the time.
With five acts, she reached orgasm 89 percent of the time.
Here’s the best part: Both oral and manual stimulation on the guy count as separate sex acts. Return the favor, and you’re already two-thirds of the way there.
STOCK UP YOUR WINE COLLECTION
Why It’ll Work: You probably know that a glass or two of red wine with dinner each night is good for your heart. A study in Italy (where else?) found that it can also spice up your sex life.
The researchers found that women who drank two glasses of red wine each day wanted sex more frequently and experienced better natural lubrication during sex than women who drank less often. The scientists believe the polyphenols in wine may help improve blood flow down below.
ACT LESS LIKE RICHARD BRANSON, MORE LIKE TOM BRADY
Why It’ll Work: Sure, sometimes it seems like rich guys get all the babes. In reality, most women only size up your financial situation when she’s ready to commit to a long-term relationship, according to a University of New Mexico study.
(Even then, she’s probably not looking for a billionaire, just a man with his act together).
Prior to that point, women in the mood for a casual fling judge men on impressive physical features, such as height and broad shoulders. You can boost your deltoids with this smart shoulder workout.
And while you can’t change your height, a study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology found that photos of men with their chin tilted slightly up were deemed more attractive by women, because it gives the illusion of looking up at a taller face.
Improve your posture, flexibility, and strength with this 21-Day Power Yoga Transformation challenge. No yogi required!
TAKE AN IMPROV COMEDY CLASS
Why It’ll Work: Conan O’Brien dated Lisa Kudrow. Norm MacDonald dated Elle Macpherson.
See a pattern?
A study in France found that when a guy approaches a woman after joking with his friends, he can get her number 43 percent of the time.
Guys who simply laugh at their friends’ jokes before asking a girl out, however, are only successful 15 percent of the time.
Improv classes—which are widely available in both big and small cities—can both help fine tune your funny bone and teach you how to think faster on your feet.
SET UP A GUYS' WEEKEND FOR YOU, GIRLS’ WEEKEND FOR HER
Why It’ll Work: A little time apart can be just the thing to heat up your flagging sex life. In a study at the University of Texas, researchers found that just before women in a long-distance relationship reunite with their beaus, their testosterone levels spike.
Although testosterone is generally much lower in women than in men, it’s an essential component of her libido. Suggest she take a trip to reunite with her college friends over the next long weekend, while you go camping with your bros.
Just make sure you plan to get back early enough to have time to—ahem—“reunite.”
WATCH FOR WIDE EYES AND RAISED EYEBROWS
Why It’ll Work: Her facial expressions offer clues to whether or not she’ll be fun in the bedroom.
When researchers at Florida State University watched a woman and a man alone in a room, they found that opening her eyes wide and lifting her eyebrows, along with sidelong glances at the man, were correlated with a high level of sexual openness in a survey.
Surprisingly, while plenty of other flirty behavior might indicate she’s interested, it didn’t correlate with more adventurous sexuality.
That includes the typical hallmarks of touching her hair, touching the man, smiling, laughing, sitting close, and dressing provocatively.
HOLD HER GAZE
Why It’ll Work: Want her to know you’re interested? Simply maintain eye contact.
A study in the journal Psychological Science found that women don’t like it when you come right out and say you’re into them; they prefer guys with a little mystery.
Think of it like the show Lost: She spends more time thinking about you if your feelings are unclear.
But a separate study at Purdue University determined that if you keep glancing off to the side while chatting up a woman, she’ll interpret it as a lack of respect.
The solution: Look her in the eye while she speaks (of course, it helps if you also listen), and when you speak, glance to a spot a little bit behind her head so you seem intrigued but not obsessed.
BROWSE ONLINE PORN TOGETHER
Why It’ll Work: Al Bundy could rely on his curated stack of Playboys forever. Women, on the other hand, get tired of the same erotic scenes.
In a Dutch study of genital arousal, men (not surprisingly) were consistently turned on by watching 18 similar X-rated scenes, while women’s arousal dropped over time. A new or different type of clip, however, usually made her arousal spike again.
Don’t just call her over to watch some new video you found—let her do the surfing to pinpoint exactly what turns her on.
PHONE A FRIEND
Why It’ll Work: Both Seinfeld and When Harry Met Sally declared that men and women can’t have sex and still be friends.
Science disagrees.
In a study at the University of South Alabama, women said the top two reasons they would accept a booty call is if they’re already friends with the guy, and his sole reason for calling is sex—meaning, this isn’t a part of telling your kids how you met their mother.
(Number three on her list: The guy’s physical attractiveness.) Just don’t bring up your past exploits—the main reason women reject a hookup is if they feel a guy is a player.
LEARN TO LOVE LUBE
Why It’ll Work: Only 25 percent of men use lubricant when they have sex, according to a study at Indiana University.
And while we’d all like to think that our foreplay skills are sufficient for lube to be unnecessary, another Hoosier study revealed that two thirds of women say that a little dab of lube makes sex more pleasurable and makes orgasm easier.
Pick up a good quality, water-based lubricant like Astroglide or Swiss Navy.
GET SWEATY
Why It’ll Work: Your sweat glands release a testosterone derivative called androstadienone. When researchers at the University of California, Berkeley had women sniff the chemical, their levels of cortisol, a hormone involved with sexual arousal, increased by 40 percent.
That, in turn, boosted their feelings of sexual arousal increased by a whopping 200 percent.
We’re not saying you should forgo deodorant, but it’s wise to be gentle with the cologne. Then share a fun physical activity you both enjoy, like dancing or going for a long run, and let her get close.
TAKE MORE DATES TO SPORTS BARS
Why It’?ll Work: Ladies love a winner. So much so, in fact, that watching someone you’re rooting for come out ahead can give you both a boost of sexual energy.
The evidence: A study at Villanova University found that the number of porn searches originating in Democratic-leaning states jumped after President Obama’s win in November 2008.
And the same was true in Republican districts in 2004 when George W. Bush was re-elected.
The next election isn’t until November, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get in on the fun. Instead, you can cheer on her college team during March Madness.
LET HER FINISH FIRST
Why It’ll Work: For guys, the goal of sex is generally to have sex—meaning vaginal intercourse—and reach orgasm.
And while women want to have sex too, of course, a British study found that women were more likely to orgasm during foreplay than during intercourse.
Put her over the top with manual stimulation (that is, using your hands and fingers), oral sex, or by using sex toys, and she’ll return the favor on you.
SIGN UP FOR A CO-ED SPORTS LEAGUE
Why It’ll Work: Athletic women tend to be less choosy with a guy’s looks than women with curvier figures, according to a study in Poland.
It comes down to estrogen: Greater amounts of body fat in voluptuous women produces more estrogen, which in turn triggers her maternal instincts.
Those motherly urges tell her to seek out a guy with great genes, and from an evolutionary standpoint, that means symmetrical features and a strong jaw.
Which is to say that if you’re not a ringer for Don Draper, you might have better luck with a slim, sports enthusiast. Sign up for a softball league, ultimate frisbee, or even join a rock climbing gym.
FIND YOUR INNER MONK
Why It’ll Work: One feature women find sexy above all: Stoic calm.
And it will show plainly on your face whether you’re feeling cool like Fonzie or as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
In a study at the Abertay University in Scotland, women gave the highest ratings of attractiveness to photos of men who also had low levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their blood—a sign that they were chilled out.
Work out stress by hitting the weights, taking a quick run, or learning how to meditate.
MEET A WOMAN BY HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS
Why It’ll Work: When other women appear to like you, it makes you more of a catch. Researchers in Scotland found that women rated pictures of a guy more attractive if he was shown with a woman smiling at him.
Since most women will likely assume that a guy and a girl hanging out together are a couple, head out with a co-ed pack of friends and let the ladies in your group act as wingwomen.
SACRIFICE LIFTING HIGHER WEIGHTS FOR PERFORMING MORE REPS
Why It’ll Work: Women prefer a Spiderman over Thor, at least when it comes to physique.
A study at the University of California, Los Angeles revealed that women prefer to date men with lean, toned muscle over guys who are stacked like champion bodybuilders.
The reason: Women assume those big pecs and traps were earned by spending long hours in the weight room—probably true—and that translates to less time the man will spend with her.
START WITH HER BREASTS
Why It’ll Work: The nipples are wired directly to her clitoris, neurologically speaking. Scientists at Rutgers University (who obviously live very difficult lives) performed brain scans on women who were masturbating.
The scans revealed that nipple play lit up the same region of the brain as when the women stimulated their clitoris. The researchers believe the shared connection may explain why some women can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone.
KEEP PACE IN CONVERSATION
Why It’ll Work: Whether she speaks with a slow Southern drawl or a fast East Coast patter, match the pace and rhythm that a woman uses.
Tha’s because people who talk at the same rate find each other more attractive than if one person speaks more slowly than the other, according to a study at the University of Maryland.
But just because you’re following her conversation speed doesn’t mean you should try to mimic her accent—Hugh Laurie you are not.
LAUGH AT YOURSELF
Why It’ll Work: You might think women like to hear all about your accomplishments and achievements. After all, isn’t that what Facebook was originally for?
But when researchers at the University of New Mexico had women listen to high-achieving men “talk” about themselves (the scripts were actually pulled from stand-up comedy routines), the ones who were the most self-deprecating were rated as sounding twice as attractive as guys who made fun of other people.
Turns out that showing you don’t take yourself too seriously is actually seen as a better sign of intelligence than talking about your graduate degree or how much you make.
DUST OFF YOUR SOCCER CLEATS
Why It’ll Work: Weightlifting, running, swimming, golf: All are great ways to stay in shape, but they won’t impress the opposite sex.
As it turns out, women favor guys who participate in team sports over those men who pursue solo athletic endeavors, according to a study at Laurentian University in Canada.
The researchers believe that playing on a team, whether it’s soccer, softball, or kickball, allows women to see guys assert their social dominance along with demonstrating physical prowess, which are both desirable traits in a mate.
FIND A QUIET, SECLUDED SPOT
Why It’?ll Work: A romp under the open sky is a common fantasy among women—and one that’s easy for you to indulge.
Researchers at Wayne State University had women watch a variety of porn scenes, and revealed that 55 percent of women felt the outdoor scenes were both physically arousing and mentally appealing.
That’s more than the number of ladies who liked watching missionary sex, men performing oral sex on women, bondage scenes, and threesomes.
WATCH HER POSE
Why It’ll Work: Here’s how to find out if a woman you’re chatting up is attracted to you: Without pausing the conversation, alter your body posture—cross your arms, lean forward, or shift your weight to the other foot. Wait a few seconds, then look to see if she matches your pose.
Women show attraction by mirroring your fidgeting and posture changes, according to a Dutch study.
It’s a tendency that’s hardwired into our brain, the researchers say, because we subconsciously want to mimic the people who hold our attention.
WHEN YOU ASK A WOMAN OUT, GENTLY TOUCH HER ARM
Why It’ll Work: Your touch helps form the beginnings of an emotional connection, and the forearms are both particularly sensitive and a socially acceptable body region to make first contact.
In fact, women at a nightclub were 50 percent more willing to accept an invitation from a guy to dance if he touched her arm as he spoke, according to a study at the University of South Brittany in France.
SPEED UP SEX
Why It’ll Work: Women say sex should only last between 7 and 13 minutes, according to a study at Penn State.
Any longer than that, and your partner may feel that her inadequacies are the reason you’re not reaching orgasm.Keep in mind that the clock only starts ticking once you begin vaginal intercourse. Spend some extra creativity on foreplay and kissing to make the full run of the bases more fun.
LET OUT YOUR INNER GEEK
Why It’ll Work: With superheros on the big screen, statisticians running major league teams, and macroeconomics in the news, there’s never been a better time than the present to be a nerd.
As the icing on that Yoda-shaped cake, when psychologists at Elon University had 200 women watch videos of men speaking about various topics, the men who were rated as both the best boyfriend material and a great potential hookup turned out to have the highest IQ scores.
The good news is that women were fairly accurate at guessing which men were the sharpest knives, so you don’t have to memorize pi to the 100th place.
Just don’t play dumb and let your true self shine.
WARM UP TO COLD SHOULDERS
Why It’ll Work: Women with very cold personalities have up to five times as many sexual partners as women with mild personalities, according to a study at Villanova University.
Since standoffish women aren’t as inclined to form a romantic connection, the psychologists say, they have more hookups and fewer long-term relationships.
WEAR A SPLASH OF RED
Why It’ll Work: When psychologists at the University of Rochester asked women to rate pictures of guys wearing different color shirts, the men garbed in crimson always came out on top.
That’s because the color red is subconsciously associated with power and status, researchers say.
Before you toss out your cool-hued wardrobe and dress like Santa, aim instead to subtly accessorize with red utilizing a patterned tie, pocket square, belt, or layered shirts.
And be aware that this is a two-way street: Men also rated ladies in red as more attractive in a separate study.
PRACTICE DOWNWARD DOG TO IMPROVE YOUR SEXUAL ENDURANCE
Why It’ll Work: Guys who suffer from premature ejaculation can find help in yoga.
A study in India (naturally) found that men who spent an hour each day practicing ordinary yoga—not any marathon-sex Tantric techniques you may have heard about—were able to triple the amount of time they lasted in bed.
In fact, the men that tried yoga were more likely to see an improvement in their premature ejaculation than guys who took the PE medication fluoxetine.
Researchers say that the routine of stretching and isometric holds helps improve core strength and pelvic muscle control, which are key in learning to prolong your orgasm.
Want to try but not interested in going to a yoga class? Try this 21-Day Power Yoga Transformation challenge.
GIVE TO CHARITY
Why It’ll Work: You should want to donate your money or your time—or better, both—to non-profit organizations out of a genuine desire to do good.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy other perks of philanthropy.
Researchers at Newcastle University in England found that when women were told that a guy gives to charity, they rated his attractiveness 10 percent higher.
If you don’t already have a favorite cause or organization, browse the extensive list at CharityNavigator.org, which evaluates non-profits based on their financial health, transparency, and accountability.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

5 Date Ideas That Are Better Than Dinner

Scrap the same old boring restaurant dates in favor of something that’s actually fun?

If you ask a woman about her most memorable date ever, chances are she’s not going to mention a dinner. No matter how good the food is, there’s only so much fun you can have when you’re staring at someone across a white tablecloth. For the 800th time. No, the best dates involve some kind of actual activity beyond chewing—a friendly competition, a physical challenge, something that gets her laughing and her blood pumping. So I poured my friends some wine and interrogated them about the best dates they’ve ever been treated to, and will share the smartest ideas here. Next time you really want to impress a lady, try one of these options.
ICE SKATING
Yes, even if you both suck at it—especially if you both suck at it. Really, any activity intended for children ages 9 and under makes for an amazing date. Mini golf, batting cages, go karts, laser tag. It may sound ridiculous for two adults but that’s the point. I dare anyone to flail around an ice skating rink dodging first graders and not have an awesome time. She’ll laugh her ass off and you’ll be the creative guy with a better idea than yet another steak dinner. Afterward, catch your breath at a diner or some other casual joint. Make sure you wear some cologne, so she’ll smell your fresh Invictus fragrance, not the sweat your worked up earlier.
THE ULTIMATE NIGHT IN
OK, so technically this is dinner, but it’s way better than your typical restaurant date. Step 1: Identify her favorite dish—maybe she always orders the cassoulet at that fancy French restaurant you take her to on special occasions, for example. Step 2: Find the recipe. For maximum brownie points, call that French restaurant and beg them for the recipe. Failing that, use Google to find something similar. Step 3: Surprise her with a basket of everything you need for the ultimate date night in: A nice card with the recipe on it, all the ingredients, a candle, wine, and a special gift for her, like this sensual OlympĂ©a perfume.
LEARN EACH OTHER’S HOBBIES
Maybe you’re a fisherman, or she’s a skier. Whatever it is, set a date to have her teach you about what she loves (and schedule another date for your favorite hobby). It’ll be endearing to see her in her element, and vice versa. Plus, by actively trying to learn and understand, it’ll show you care about her. The “teaching” can get intimate, too, which is never a bad thing.
My friend Jen’s boyfriend took her to a gun range on their second date. “It was oddly romantic,” she says. “He showed me how to properly hold the guns, how to stand and brace, and he was so proud when I did well.” (Note: Not every girl is as game as Jen to go to a gun range. Make sure you ask, don’t tell, her about this date idea.)
BASEBALL GAME
This makes for a great first or second date—provided she has at least a passing interest in sports and/or sitting in the sunshine with a beer. Baseball is slow enough to give you plenty of time to have get-to-know-you conversation, but without any awkward pauses, because there’s always a game to watch. Plus there’s none of the stiff formality of an upscale restaurant. Casual settings always make for easier conversation.
SURPRISE EXCURSION
Tell her to meet you at 9 a.m. but don’t tell her what for. Then surprise her with day exploring a locale an hour or so away. Maybe it’s the wine country upstate, a beach town she’s never been to, or hell, even a neighborhood in your city that you’ve always meant to check out. Wherever you are, there's probably a place within a 30- to 40-mile radius with something fun to offer, even if it’s just novelty. Pick one, and plan to spend the day wandering and exploring what the region has to offer. Even if it’s a podunk place with nothing but a rundown coffee shop, it'll give you both a sense of adventure.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

The Good Girl’s Guide to Rough Sex

It's OK to take a risk.
Who doesn't love that scene featuring Brad and Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith?  You know, the one where they master the art of crazy-fierce sex. While it all looks hot AF on camera, you might be worried that things could get too out of hand (or just plain awkward) during an aggressive roll in the hay. But don't stress, here's what you need to know.
Why Rough Sex Can Be Super Hot
Obviously, true harm is not acceptable in sexual experiences, but we might feel compelled to conquer our partner or to be conquered. Though the term "predatory aggression" sounds a bit scary, it's actually a healthy form of aggression in sex. A man might feel so aroused by you that he wants to squeeze you and have his energy engulf you.
Each of us has a deep driving instinct to stay safe, so openly inviting someone to dominate us reduces our control over our own safety—which can make rough sex kind of a thrill. You can fuel intense passion with your partner by nudging each other to the edge of your comfort zones.
How to Keep Aggressive Sex in Check
To keep throw-me-down-tie-me-up sex from feeling too intimidating, try easing into it. Here are some guidelines to help you explore rough sex in a healthy way:
1. Build slowly. You can start with slightly risky behaviors and build on those as you cultivate trust with each other. Practice what you did a few more times with the same intensity. If you felt bad or closed off after the act, that's not good. Discuss what felt "off" and why.
2. Let your natural instincts lead the way. There's no need to sensor yourself. If either of you hurts the other's feelings, listen to each other, apologize, note that particular boundary, and get back to being as risky as you can.
3. Take a few chances. While respect and consent are critical, you'll need to push your comfort zone a little. Let your shared fantasies of finding the perfect aggression balance spark between you.
4. Let go and trust yourself. After talking about what you want, go for it! Trust your instincts and then ask for it.
5. Prepare for awkwardness. If you haven't practiced being aggressive, you'll almost certainly feel a little weird at first. But just be honest. No criticizing or shaming allowed.
6. Take turns. Practice yielding to your partner's aggressive dominance, and then lead with your own. Be sure to speak up if your partner oversteps the bounds. Likewise, ease up if your partner says you've gone too far. You can always return to aggressive play later.

Monday, 6 March 2017

Forget the G-Spot—Touch Her Here Instead

You no longer need a map to find her pleasure zone
How does your sex life compare? Take our survey and we’ll let you know.
Your long hunt for the G-spot just got a little easier: There’s not one specific spot that functions as a magic button for women’s pleasure.
It’s actually a larger erogenous zone that encompasses several different organs, finds an Italian study.
Researchers call this the “clitourethrovaginal complex” (CUV), a mouthful of a term that includes the front of the vaginal wall (the side toward the belly), the urethra, the paraurethral glands, and the inner “roots” of the clitoris.
Stimulating this region doesn’t just give her serious pleasure—it may also help trigger vaginal orgasms, which researchers describe as longer-lasting experiences that radiate through the whole body.
“We found by ultrasound that external masturbation of the outer clitoris activates blood circulation only in the clitoris,” says study author Emmanuele Jannini, M.D. “But inner stimulation during penetration may activate blood circulation in all the CUV structures.”
Instead of focusing all your attention on one tiny spot, just make sure to target the front of her vaginal wall. Rear entry and woman-on-top are two of the best positions to help you reach the area, though it varies for each woman, says Dr. Jannini.
And you can use your hands, too. Inserting one or two fingers, palm up, and making a “come here” motion may stimulate the CUV region, Dr. Jannini says. Vibrators designed to hit the G-spot could also work for some women.