Thursday, 12 October 2017

What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Plus: How to make some of your fantasies come true!
We all have personal preferences in the bedroom, some very common and others illegal in Texas. Still, we all deserve for some of our desires to become reality.
How do you make it happen?
The best way: Talk to your girlfriend or wife well before you attempt the act.
Here’s what most women think about 10 of your top sexual fantasies.
1. YOU WANT A THREESOME
She thinks: “Of course you do. Keep dreaming.”
Despite what you saw in Saturday Night Beaver, most girls don’t want to enter this territory. Granted, we can appreciate the female form.
And we’re not horrified at the thought of being in the same room with another naked woman. But what if we asked you to be with another guy? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The thing is, we’d always wonder whose company you were enjoying more. We might not admit it, but it’d cause some insecurity on our part. Get this out of your system before you enter a committed relationship, okay?
2. YOU WANT HER TO DRESS UP
She thinks: “Ooo, in what?”
Ask me to put on a squirrel costume and I might crush your nuts. Hey, some people are into that stuff!
If the costume has to be rented from hotmascots.com, it’s probably a no-go. It takes courage to dress up (some of us are not thrilled with our bodies) but we want to feel sexy for you.
As long as we feel good in it, or you make us feel good in it, there won’t be a problem here.
3. YOU WANT HER TO GO DOWN ON YOU
She thinks: “What else is new?”
Some girls really enjoy giving oral. If your girlfriend doesn’t, it may be that she’s not comfortable or confident with her technique.
Make her comfortable—and not by grabbing her head. Reassure her, tell her she does it the best, and guide her if you want something different.
Also, I believe it was Jesus who said give and ye shall receive. So give, often and well. Ye shall receive.
4. YOU WANT ANAL SEX
She thinks: “Ouch!” (and clenches her butt cheeks)
Listen fellahs, this is a gift. If you want it, you have to earn it. This will likely be more “thrilling” for you than her.
Hey, some girls are good to go, and enjoy it. Others, well, want some time to ease into that stage of a relationship. You know, the stage when she may drop a turd on your bed and you’ll love her anyway. Yeah, that stage.
Anal isn’t for the feint of heart, especially if you've had Mexican for dinner. Before you go there, watch The Truth about Anal Sex.
5. YOU WANT TO FINISH IN A STRANGE PLACE
She thinks: “Um, what? Why?”
Hey, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
The rule here is simple: Ask permission before you do it.
6. YOU WANT TO WATCH HER MASTURBATE
She thinks: “Awkward!”
Sorry, guys, but this is something we’re used to doing on our own, and in our own way. Though we understand why you’d enjoy watching, it can be super-awkward for us.
Your best bet: While you’re pleasing her, grab her hand and encourage her to show you what she likes. And definitely tell her how amazing she looks doing it.
7. YOU WANT TO TALK DIRTY
She thinks: “You go first.”
Use common sense here, guys. Ease in, and take it from there. Tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is. She’ll follow your lead and probably get into it.
8. YOU WANT TO DO IT IN A NEW, POSSIBLY DANGEROUS SPOT
She thinks: “Adventurous!”
But let it happen spontaneously. That is the fun of it. If you plan for it, the thrill is gone. In fact, she may get cold feet if she has too long to think about it. Keep her on her toes!
And try not to get arrested. Jail-cell sex isn’t nearly as hot.
9. YOU WANT TO WATCH PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Sure!”
She may not want to admit it, but some girls are just as turned on by porn as you are. Not the college-girl show-me-your-titties kind, but the grownup kind.
We understand that you’re going to watch it anyway, and it’d be more fun to watch with you and reap the benefits!
10. YOU WANT TO MAKE PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Can I trust you?”
It’s not posing that puts us off. It’s the prospect of showing up on YouPorn—or, frankly, your buddy’s iPhone.
Bottom line: This takes loads of trust. No matter how in love we are at the time, we know that not all love lasts forever. But pictures and videos sure do!

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