George Bernard Shaw once said that, life was not always to Find Yourself. Life is about Creating Yourself.
It’s one of those things that became famous largely because it was true. The challenge though—is that this takes more work than I think most people are prepared to give. That’s how it was for me, anyway.
We spend years—I spent years—thinking that if only I could “find” myself, then I would be ready to go. That, somehow at that stage, I would win.
But the difference in finding yourself and creating yourself is that one of those two methods takes work. Lots of work.
To Find yourself is a lucky coincidence. Creating yourself is hours of work and a never ending process of self-improvement—especially if you want a life of mastery.
Maybe that’s why it wasn’t until I came across this famous quote that I really started to push myself forward.
So how does one succeed, then, if finding yourself is a lost cause? They all boil down to a few similar traits.
1: Start with your ideal dream
Imagine for a moment that someone was holding a Million-Dollar Giveaway! A grand event where one lucky winner would receive, literally, one million dollars (after taxes!), completely free of charge. If you won that money and had no taxes to pay on it and there were no strings attached, your life would immediately change. And for the better.
Now that you no longer have to focus on an income, what would you do with the rest of your life? What is it that you would be, do, or become, if you already had that million dollars?
Think about it…
I ask this, because that’s the dream state, your ideal life…and believe me, you would still do SOMETHING because that’s where fulfillment comes from for humans.
Now that you know what that is you would do if you already had that million dollars – you break it down into manageable steps.
Here is an example: in my case I have decided that winning a great prize for my writing (like the Nobel Prize for Literature, and a Pulitzer) are my ideal goals—my dream state/life.
The steps I have taken first and foremost are working each and every day on my dream…
I write…
I research…
I talk about my book…
I dream about my book…
So far it has inspired me…The amazing thing is, this book doesn’t even exist. It’s only in my head. But it inspires me. I have caught fire.
2: “Hold the vision; trust the process”
That above quote is the next step. Keep the dream alive in your mind and in your heart. Let it evoke powerful emotions in you. Post it up on your wall. Make a vision board.
This is key, because you have to view your outcome as inevitable.
Once you have made it inevitable in your mind, you will be able to withstand the process. Usually, it’s a trial by fire. Part of the reason for this is because this new dream state for you is just that: a new state, a new way of being. This means you have to change from the person you were, into the person you would like to be.
Why is that hard? Think of it this way: I have a theory that says people don’t want to be told what to do—even if it works—they want their own way to succeed.
This means that even if I said do x,y, and z and you’ll win, you will likely only do the parts that are consistent with who you already are as a person.
Most people won’t change who they are until the need becomes so great they see no other choice. That’s why the trial by fire has to happen.
As they say, we learn more from pain than from pleasure. We learn more from our failures than from our successes.
You also learn more from creating yourself than from finding yourself. Plus, what if the person you found wasn’t one that you aspired to be—wasn’t one that you liked? Then what?
Hands down, now that I know the secret of creating self, I’ll choose creating yourself over the act to find yourself every day of the week.
A crucible is the steel container that holds molten gold together into a form so that the designer can create whatever they like. You are the designer. Well, you CAN be. You may not be at this moment. But at some point, the crucible has to come. The heat of the fire is the heat to transform. To stay the course means to be able to take the heat and let it transform you.
Good luck!