Monday, 18 June 2018

The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know

When it comes to dating and relationships there are a lot of grey areas—as there should be. Maybe that’s why it’s so fun to look at dating statistics and data to see the black and white facts presented by the numbers. Whether you’re curious about the best city  to start a relationship in or want to know what men really think about paying for the first date, check out these 14 important dating statistics for some much-needed insight.

1. Shared interests and sex are important to a successful marriage.
According to a 2017 study on marriage by the PEW Research Center, 64% of married couples say having shared interests is important to a successful relationship and 61% said satisfying sexual relationship is. It makes sense then, that in a survey of over 6,000 online daters on the dating site Zoosk, the majority of them said the thing they like to talk about in their first conversation with someone is their hobbies and interests. Another fun find—56% of married adults say sharing household chores is very important to a successful marriage.
2. Guys care more about who pays the bill than women.
In a recent survey of over 6,000 heterosexual singles on the dating site and app Zoosk, 86% of men said they preferred to pay the bill, while only 56% of women said they prefered the man to pay. On top of that, only 25% of men said they like it when a woman offers to pay. 
3. It’s actually harder start a relationship in a big city.
According to 2014 Facebook data gathered from relationship-related posts and status changes, big cities like New York, LA, and Miami aren’t the best place to meet people. The cities that you’re most likely to start a relationship in? Colorado Springs, El Paso, Louisville, and Fort Worth.
4. Love goes beyond politics.
Though current times may suggest otherwise, the same PEW study on marriage also showed that only 16% of married people said they thought shared political views were important to their marriage. So even if you and your significant other don’t see eye to eye on economic reform or foreign policy, you can still be a good pair for each other in a relationship.
5. More people are choosing to stay single longer, or indefinitely.
And as a result the gap between married and single people has narrowed. Back in the 1950s married couples outnumbered singles by 37.1 million, but after the last census in 2015 that number shrunk to 12.1 million.
6. The best time to get married is between the ages of 28 and 32.
According to a study by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah people who get married between 28 and 32 split up the least. As the study put it, this “Goldilocks Theory of Marriage” shows that getting married too early or too late can be risky.
7. Most people think online dating is a good way to meet people.
In a 2015 study by PEW, 59% of people in the U.S. agreed that online dating was a good way to meet people. And that number was on the rise, since in 2005 only 44% of people surveyed said they thought online dating was a good way to meet.
8. If you date someone for 3 months, it’s likely you’ll start a serious relationship.
Another fun find from Facebook—couples who make it to 3 months usually end up together for at least 4 years. So the three month mark is an important milestone.
9. If you’ve been dating for over 6 months, it might be time to discuss marriage.
A survey from the dating app Zoosk showed that 56% of men and 54% of women want to discuss marriage after they’ve been dating for 6 months.
10. Technology can bring couples closer.
According to a 2014 PEW research study, 21% of mobile phone owners, said they feel closer to their spouse or partner because of conversations they had via text. 9% admitted that they had resolved an argument over text message that they couldn’t resolve in person. In addition to that 27% of internet users say their internet usage has had an impact on their relationship and 74% said it was a positive one.
11. More people are getting remarried.
According to the U.S. census 40% of new marriages involve remarriage, where one or both of the spouses have been married before. In addition, in 2013 42 million adults in the U.S. had been married more than once which was up from 22 million in 1980. 
12. Men and women both want someone who’s honest.
After data mining over 3,000,000 profiles, the dating app Zoosk found that both men and women use the word honest the most while describing what they’re looking for in another person. Other popular traits varied by age and included things like fun, sense of humor, family, or easy going.
13. Same sex couples don’t care about age as much.
According to Facebook data, in heterosexual couples, males are consistently 2–5 years older than females, while same-sex couples generally have larger gaps within the spouses ages.
14. Coffee or dinner dates are the best way to go.
According to messaging data from the online dating site Zoosk, women in their 20s and 30s use the word dinner most often when describing their ideal date. Womens in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older list coffee most often.

Friday, 15 June 2018

How to find love online: advice from Soulmates couples

Is there a secret recipe to finding the right person, or is it really just down to luck?

With so many apps, profiles and photos to sift through, the task of online dating sometimes feels impossible. Is there a secret recipe to finding the right person, or is it really just down to luck? To find out, we turned to our very own success stories from Guardian Soulmates and asked long-term couples what advice they would give to singles hoping to find love online.
Don’t look for perfection
With online dating, it is easy to think the grass is always greener. One more date might just lead you to that flawless someone. But in striving for impossible perfection, we risk overlooking the potential in the people we meet.
Pete and Josie* met on Soulmates five years ago and were married in 2016. “There’s a tendency to just keep looking, and looking, and looking. Don’t look for perfection, it doesn’t happen,” says Pete. Not that you should settle for the first person you decide to meet up with, but simply be more forgiving of those you do. Much of the joy of a relationship is that you understand and embrace someone else’s shortcomings – just as they do yours. “It’s all about getting to like each other and accepting the faults as well,” adds Josie.
Don’t give up – go on that second date
We all know how nerve-racking first dates can be. More than likely, your date will be nervous as well, and it can take time to be relaxed around a new person. When Amy met Ryan seven years ago, their first date didn’t quite have the fireworks they were hoping for. But rather than give up, they gave it another chance. And it was worth it. They’ve been married now for three years, with a son who’s 20 months old. “I’d say go on that second date. We got on well the first date, but I didn’t feel the spark,” says Amy, “I was on the fence, but I’m glad I went because I did feel it after that.” Give people the benefit of the doubt. If the conversation flowed the first time, be brave and go for that second date.
Be honest in your profile
Something that all the couples we spoke to mentioned was the importance of being honest. It creates a base level of trust that is essential if you are looking for a long-term relationship. “Be honest in your profile as the truth will out in the end,” says Ivan, who just celebrated his first wedding anniversary with Emily, whom he met through Soulmates in 2014. And he’s right. With still so much uncertainty about identity online, it sets a bad precedent to lie on your profile and is likely to put someone off. Be honest in your profile; this will up your chances of finding people who like you for who you are.
Try to have fun with it, let your true colours shine
At the end of the day, the key thing is to enjoy the journey. “My advice would be to try and have fun with it. Try and be authentic, be true to yourself, and don’t be afraid to put down who you are and what you’re looking for,” is Naomi’s suggestion. She and her Soulmates partner Sam were married last year. “She’s right,” says Sam, “keep looking for the little things that stand out about people. It might be a user name, details from their profile or their smile.” If you let your true colours shine from the beginning, your date will be on the same page when you meet.

Thursday, 7 June 2018

4 Surprising Ways to Break the Ice

During those first few dates, you’re likely to find yourself with a man who is more nervous – and tongue tied – than you are.  Here are five different ways to break the ice, open his heart, and start the spark of romance.

First dates are our chance to create an initial connection with a man, and see if we are a good fit. We trot out our best stories and questions to make a great first impression, and we avoid uncomfortable silence at all costs.
But these strategies aren’t real ways to start a connection with a man. In fact, they feel more like an interview than a romantic experience.  If you really want to get the conversation flowing, focus instead on connecting to his heart by being vulnerable and authentic.  Here’s how.
TIP  #1: ASK HIM ABOUT A PERSONAL DETAIL
Rather than asking him about his job or where he lives, ask him about a personal detail that opens the door to unusual conversation. It’s a great way to find out more about him and let him know you’re interested.
So say something about his class ring or the shoes he’s wearing.  Chances are, there’s a story there; and he’ll welcome the opportunity to share it. It will feel more spontaneous and refreshing, because it isn’t the same old conversation starter.
TIP #2: ASK HIM TO ASK YOU
A good way to communicate your openness and find out what’s on his mind is to ask him: “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
Doing this gives you great insight into his personality.  You’re letting him lead the conversation so he feels you’re open to him, and you’re also learning about what matters to him.  He’ll probably turn it around and ask you to do the same, and this will keep you chatting away. The fact that you’re open to revealing stuff about yourself will also give him the impression that you’re spontaneous and comfortable in your own skin, and this is very attractive.
TIP  #3: ADMIT YOU’RE NERVOUS
It’s normal to think that we have to seem upbeat and at ease on a first date, so we try to cover up our nerves and discomfort. But this just creates an artificial experience between the two of you, and causes you to miss a real opportunity for connection.
One of the quickest ways to put him at ease – and instantly connect with his heart – is to confess what you’re really feeling.  So if you feel nervous, tell him! You can say something like: “You know, I’m feeling really nervous here.  I felt we had a great connection online, and now I’m not sure what to say,”
There’s a good chance he’ll venture that he’s having the same problem, and then you’ll have something in common!  What’s more, the fact that you expressed your true feelings will let him see that he doesn’t have to be a mind reader with you…and it will touch his heart.
TIP  #4: GET COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE
This tip is the hardest to get used to, but the most powerful.
When people are nervous, they tend to create small talk.  Small talk will help pass the time, but it won’t help you make a heart connection with him, because you’re just sharing facts rather than engaging with him on a more personal level.  So let go of the need to carry the conversation, and challenge yourself to sit with the silence.   Know that you don’t need to speak.
Instead smile, relax your shoulders, and get comfortable.  Just doing this will take the pressure off him, because he’ll feel that you’re okay being in his presence.  He’ll feel accepted, and that’s when he’ll feel safe enough to trust you and relax.  Gradually, you’ll find yourself sharing a true heart to heart.
Much of the pressure from first dates comes from testing to see if we can trust this person enough to start revealing who we are.  But it really works the opposite way.  The more you reveal about yourself and your true feelings, the more he’ll feel comfortable opening up about himself.  If you keep this in mind, you’ll find that your next first date will be much more enjoyable.  You will have learned something meaningful about another person.  Even if you decide it’s not a romantic fit after all, you’ll have also gained valuable practice in how to open yourself up to the right man.

Monday, 4 June 2018

Tip for Your Online Dating Profile: Stay Positive!

Many of us have friends who are negative, who maybe even identify themselves as pessimists or take pride in the fact that they look at the world and are honest about the fact that it’s not always beautiful. We love these friends, their pessimism is part of their charm and a big part of who they are.

This article is not for them.
Those people should be negative on their online dating profile, because the person they meet will need to appreciate their pessimism as much as their friends do. For the rest of us, those of us who don’t identify ourselves that way, it’s a good idea to double-check our online dating profiles for negativity. Because you’d be surprised how often something you write can come across as negative, and how much it can hurt your ability to attract the type person you’re looking for.
Ready to do a negativity check? Here are two quick things to look out for:
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want
Sometimes when you’re asked to describe what it is you’re looking for in another person, the first thing that comes to mind is what you’re not looking for. Especially if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship that didn’t work out. But by saying what you don’t want, you may be turning away people who you’d really be interested in.
Think about it: If you put “No drama please!” in your profile doesn’t it sound, well, a little dramatic? If you were looking for a relationship with no drama, would that be the person you’d message? Probably not. But you might message someone that said, “I’m a positive, laid-back person, looking for someone who’s the same.”
Luckily, this kind of negativity is easy to spot and easy to fix. Just take a look at your profile and identify any places you talk about the things you don’t want or don’t like in another person. Then reword it to focus on what you do want instead.
Dating can be hard, but don’t talk about it in your profile
We know. Online dating, and all dating, can be rough and it gets frustrating. It’s tempting to put something about it in your profile, but focusing on how hard it’s been can give the wrong impression.
Steer away from mentioning that you don’t like online dating, that you haven’t had any luck before, or that you’re sick of playing games. Others may feel the same way but it’s not the best first impression. Instead, talk about the things you’re looking forward to and what you hope to get out of the experience.
Dating and life isn’t all sunny perfect days and fluffy white clouds. It’s OK to feel discouraged sometimes or feel frustrated when things don’t work out. There’s a time when opening up about your past relationships with someone is a way to get closer and learn about each other. The first impression you make in your profile isn’t that time.
So do a quick check, make sure you’re representing yourself in a positive light, and you just may be surprised by how a positive profile can help you meet a positive person.

Thursday, 31 May 2018

7 Online Dating Tips to Help You Attract Interesting People

Attracting people while dating online isn’t that hard, but attracting the people you’re really interested in… Well, that requires a bit of work. The good news is, it’s a whole lot easier than you think once you know what to do.

Here are 7 online dating tips to help you attract interesting people:
1. Your main profile picture should be you at your best.
Your main picture is your first impression so it needs to show you at your absolute best. People are visual creatures so this is important. This may take a bit of work if you don’t already have that perfect picture, but always remember, even if it takes a hundred tries to get that perfect photo, that one photo could attract the person who becomes the person you share the rest of your life with. Not too bad a deal for a few hours work is it?
2. The more pictures, the better.
Some online dating experts advise their clients to use no more than four pictures. I say nonsense. Data has shown that adding more pictures to your dating profile results in more inbound messages. We already know people are extremely visual. Keeping that in mind, each picture is a unique opportunity to draw someone’s attention and tell a different story about yourself.
The key is diversity. Eight photos of you standing alone is off-putting, boring, and doesn’t reveal anything unique about you from picture to picture. Eight or more pictures capturing you in different positive aspects of your life, (like a travel picture, a photo with your family, you finishing the last 10k you ran, or your Halloween costume), will tell a story that people get interested in, and ultimately, will want to be a part of.
3. Be playful and flirtatious.
If you were to meet someone you liked at a bar, how would you let them know? You’d probably smile a lot, touch their arm, lean in when you talk, or give any number of visual and verbal cues that communicate interest.
Well in the online world all you have is your words and the characters on a keyboard to let the person know you’re interested and attracted. Use them to your advantage. Exclamation points, emoticons, emojis, and innocent G-rated flirting are all great ways to let someone know you’re into them. Just use all of these things in moderation or it will backfire—you don’t want to look like teenager!
A lot of online dating is filled with boring small talk, so don’t be afraid to be the exception.
4. Never make a list of deal-breakers.
This may seem obvious, but a lot of people still do it. Making a list of deal breakers in your profile is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
You will never scare off the people you’re not interested in by listing all the qualities that you don’t want in a partner. But you may convince the good people out there that you’re overly picky, judgmental, or negative. This probably isn’t true, but it’s how it comes across. So stay positive and focus on the things you’re looking for instead of the things you’re not looking for.
5. Understand that people have short attention spans.
People are insanely busy these days. In fact, you’re probably so busy right now that you’re simply skimming this article. Did I catch you? It’s okay, I forgive you.
When it comes to online dating, you have to overcome all the noise and distractions life brings by being economical with your words, structuring your profile properly, and packing the most punch into every word you write.
The ideal structure for a profile is 5-6 mini paragraphs of 2-3 sentences each with each section focusing on a different aspect of your life. This allows someone to both skim for information, or read your profile like a well-crafted story if they choose to.
If you’re on a site that uses email, as a rule they should take no more than 60 seconds to read and 2-3 minutes to respond to. This can increase slightly as the responses begin to snowball, but it’s a good rule of thumb in the beginning.
6. Size up the competition.
Ok, so it’s not really a competition but there are a lot of people on online dating sites that you can learn from. Researching your competition can be extremely helpful if you’re not sure what to say in your profile. Take a look at a lot of profiles and see how you compare. What do some profiles do better or more effectively than you do? Which profiles would you be most attracted to? After you have your answers, use this knowledge to your advantage and adjust your own profile.
7. Stand out from the competition
What qualities do you have that shine the most? Is it your humor? Is it your sense of adventure? Is it your passion for volunteering? Maybe it’s all of the above. Figure out what it is about you that’s worth highlighting and then make sure these qualities are showcased in your photo and your profile.
If you’re new to online dating, it can seem confusing at first but at the end of the day it’s about putting your best self out there and connecting with people and getting to know them. Don’t forget to have fun with it!

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

How to Be Better at Online Flirting

Being a flirt, online or in real life takes a certain level of finesse. Some people are naturally charismatic, effortless flirts. Other people become successful flirts by learning the tricks of the trade through trial and error. Others flirt minimally or not at all. Online flirting is an art form.

I use the term “flirt” very loosely. When I say flirt, I don’t mean cheesy compliments and canned pick-up lines. Saying something like, “There must be a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them,” is not flirting with another person. That’s just flirting with disaster.
By flirting, I mean the art of witty and spontaneous banter. By flirting, I mean using dialogue and conversation to attract people to you, engaging with people in a light-hearted, fun, easy, and graceful way to bond with them romantically. With the medium of online dating, success necessarily involves utilizing the written word (i.e. your online flirting ability) as a social skill.
Composing a dashing and coquettish message is not as difficult as it seems. Just as there are tips and tricks with flirting in real life, there are rules (and shortcuts) with flirting online. So how do you turn your drab little “Hi, my name is…” message into a sparkling, enchanting, tantalizing series of bon mots sure to send any reader into throes of ecstatic bliss? Harness all your writing ability, and get ready to become a veritable Lord Byron, because it’s not as hard as it seems! 
That’s right. I’m going to tell you how to be betting at online flirting.
Do not be tempted by the easy compliment or a cliché
It’s too easy, too cheap, to fall prey to the easy compliment and the ready cliché. It’s like giving someone a ready-to-wear message when you can easily whip up some homemade haute couture. Think about it. For this awesome individual whom you’ve set your eye on, getting another message that simply says You’re a hottie or hey what’s up is probably about as exciting as breathing. Online daters are so used to it, they barely notice it anymore. If you choose to compliment, dole out a real beauty, something you’ve thought of and created just for that person. It doesn’t have to be beautiful poetry. All it has to do is not be the same old boring crap this person hears day in and day out.
Metaphors and similes, when used in moderation, are your friends
We are given this thing called language. We should have fun with it! Language serves the purpose of communication, though in the process, we can take all sorts of liberties with it to save it from the abuses of everyday speech. For instance, we can use metaphors and similes. Though it might not be readily apparent at first, the use of metaphor is rife in the arena of the flirted word.
Here’s an example: Guess what my shirt’s made of? Boyfriend material.
Another great prompt for a possible metaphor or simile is You make me feel like… or Around you, I become.
Try it out for yourself. You make me feel like I’m finally home. Around you, I become aware the depths of my own heart. Hey, it’s not so hard!
It’s not the size that matters, but how you use it
Write a sonnet, not a novel. Keep your responses short and sweet—at first. Later on, beautifully articulated, 17-page epics are encouraged. At first, however, you always want to make the person you’re trying to attract lust for more. Give an inch (of prose), and they’ll demand a mile. I’m not a proponent of two-word responses, but a short, two-paragraph message where each word is measured (and no words are wasted) is the online equivalent of a brief conversation that ends too soon and leaves you starving for more. There’s no shame in being coy. After all, isn’t that what flirting is all about?
Don’t reveal too much too soon — mystery is fuel to the fire
In due course, everything will be revealed. If you date someone, they will eventually find out everything about you (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sublime). Skeletons will eventually tumble from your closets, so there’s no point in disclosing your whole life story too soon. In the art of flirtation, evocative and mysterious statements are the word of law. Your desirability quotient is (at first) at least partly contingent on your ability to evoke a sense of enigma about your persona, to not talk too much or spill too much about yourself in the beginning in order to sustain your date’s sense of interest in you over time. In no sense am I advocating secrecy or lies—it’s important to be honest all the time, less important to disclose information about yourself unprompted and unprovoked. Wait until you are asked, before you spill the beans.
Everyone loves a funny person
You don’t have to be the class clown of online dating, but a little humor never hurt anyone, particularly when used pointedly to attract a mate. Even if it goes against everything you believe, at least try to lighten up and make a joke (think of it as a thought experiment). Humor is like a jolt of charm. Who doesn’t love to laugh? While there is no easy lesson on how to be funny, the best rule of thumb is to try to make it sound natural and situational. Make jokes if it’s relevant and applies, but don’t make stupid jokes for no reason (you’ll come off as a ‘try hard’). This is not to say that you need to take lessons on stand-up comedy in order to date someone. Rather, I’m suggesting that you attempt to see the humor in situations and let your natural humor shine. Everyone out there has a sense of humor. We just have varying degrees of comfort in showing it.
So are you ready to start online flirting? I certainly think so.  Have at it!

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

How to Write a Dating Profile That Will Get You Dates

There aren’t many situations in life where it’s acceptable to talk at length about yourself to random strangers without pause or interjection. And it’s usually even less socially acceptable to start disclosing your life story, what you’re looking for in a life partner, your ideal date, your music taste, and your favorite movies—in rapid succession—to people you don’t know and have never met.
But there is somewhere where this is all totally normal, where talking about yourself is not only appropriate, but encouraged.

Your online dating profile!
It may seem a bit daunting to dive into explaining so much about yourself and your dreams right away, so I’ve put some tips together to help you out.
Here are some important tips on how to write a dating profile that will help you attract the right people and land a date.
Be genuine
The key to writing a good online dating profile is to be specific about who you are. Nobody likes a profile that sounds as if the writer is tailoring his or her personality to what other people want to hear. Those sorts of generic, essentially meaningless profiles are exactly what don’t catch  someone’s eye online.
Imagine a profile that says:
I’m a nice caring person with a good heart. I am looking for an honest person who likes to have fun.
Seriously, what does that even mean? Everyone thinks they have a good heart (even some really horrible people). Of course this dater is looking for an honest person. What else would someone be looking for, a compulsive liar? And what is fun precisely? Isn’t the concept of fun different for different people? In the end, this profile says essentially nothing. Sure, it might attract some initial responses, but that does nothing toward helping this dater find a real match or create a real connection with someone.
Here’s a better example from a real online dater from the dating site Zoosk:
My Story
I like literature, critical theory, local music and shows, the Criterion Collection, cooking with ingredients most people have never even heard of, creative writing, Virginia Woolf, 4 Barrel Coffee, Baudrillard, pretending that I don’t love the band Journey, attempting to local my zen state, and sleeping in past noon then having coffee on Sundays.
My Perfect Match
An interesting man who knows who Samuel Beckett is, subscribes to similar periodicals as me, and isn’t too cool to dance at a show. Props if you pretentiously bring up Derrida in social situations.
My Ideal Date
Alcohol and feigned indifference. We go for drinks and alternately act interested and completely aloof. It borders on rudeness. Whatever, it’s what I like.
In the profile above, the dater takes time to lay out her personality. You can see that she has fancy taste in films (Criterion Collection), likes to go to shows, and openly admits that she likes critical theory. Some people won’t relate to her at all, but I like this kind of honesty, because she is obviously not trying to please everyone. She is trying to find people who will like her for who she is.
Ain’t no shame in filtering out the rejects!
I believe that an online dating profile should be an honest portrayal of your personality and act as a filter, nixing out all the unwanteds early on. If you look at the profile above, the writer has no shame in saying exactly what it is she’s looking for; if the man doesn’t read the same level of literature that she does then she isn’t interested. It’s probably a little strange to some people, but at least she’s letting the dating pool know what she wants.
It’s always a smart idea to say exactly what it is you do not want right away on our online dating profile. Being forthright and upfront about your desires is not only a good basic practice, but it also saves you and others precious time and energy to get it out right away instead of later on. If you have deal breakers—like smoking, children, or cats—you should write those down in your profile right away. Otherwise you might be in for a sorry surprise later on. The more specific the better.
Here’s an example from another real online dating profile from Zoosk:
My perfect match is an attractive woman who can keep up with me intellectually and conversationally but who doesn’t do so by being pushy or a bully. I really don’t like mean or intolerant people. Matching political/religious views are a plus, but hardly necessary. I suppose my perfect girl is between 25 and 30 and nice to be around. These are just guidelines though so don’t be afraid to write me.
I think these sorts of specifics are really smart. Note that he wrote that he wants a girl “between 25 and 30.” In a few short steps, he’s created age filter and he also mentioned that he prefers people who have matching political and religious views (another filter).
Channel your inner wordsmith
You don’t have to get all Shakespearen on us, but a little oratorical flair never hurts when attracting people to your online dating profile. 
I like this excerpt from another profile:
I love thunderstorms but I can’t live without sunshine. I find beauty in almost everything about this incredible world we live in… I like to swing at the park, play in the snow, and stomp in puddles. I love camping but hate freezing at night.
Take some time to write descriptively. You have no idea how far a tiny bit of eloquence can get you in the world of online dating. Do you like hiking? Don’t just say “I like to hike.” Aim just a bit higher and say something like, “I love the serenity of standing atop a huge mountain, watching the horizon expand before me.” Do you like walks on the beach? Say “There’s nothing more beautiful to me than a beach at sunset, where the stars appear bigger and brighter than everywhere else on earth.” Whatever it is that you have to say, use descriptive language to spice it up.
A little charm goes a long way
If I had to write a list of things that I, particularly, find un-charming, I’d put offensive language, vulgarity, bad spelling, and bad grammar on the top of the list. And somehow, these things occasionally find their way onto people’s’ online dating profiles—which makes me scratch my head and wonder how on earth this could possibly happen. Why would anyone want to date an offensive, vulgar person who has problems communicating effectively? Why would anyone want to present themselves that way?
Ask yourself, when you edit your online dating profile, “Would I date this person?”
There are some important red flags to avoid—angry rants about previous relationships, overboard negativity about your own life, too much disclosure about money or personal finances—when composing your online dating profile. A good rule in determining what kind of content to avoid is a simple reflection on the power of charm.
What kind of people are charming? Generally, they’re positive, friendly, and humble. Charming people have the undeniable ability to attract others to them. They are, simply put, fun to be around. We know each and every person has the ability to be charming. It isn’t particularly difficult. All it takes is a certain level of mindfulness and a little bit of effort. And charm will go a long way with your fellow daters.