Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Here's the Major Reason Why Dating Apps Aren't Working for You

A new study says that apps that uses sophisticated algorithms to determine compatibility are less reliable than you think
If you've ever gone a date with someone you met online and they rejected you by saying, "it's not you, it's me," we have good news: they weren't lying, and it might not have been your fault. In fact, the authors of an August study have determined that dating app algorithms basically can't predict compatibility at all.
The authors of the Psychological Science study tested their own questionnaire-based attraction algorithm and discovered that their well-educated guesses couldn’t predict anything about what would happen after two strangers actually met for the first time.
To find out whether algorithms could predict mutual attraction, the researchers used 100 self-reported traits and partner preferences (for instance, "I enjoy binge-watching Game of Thrones") to predict a degree of variance in the choices of two strangers who then met in real life for four-minute speed dates. While the researchers didn’t specify whether the algorithm was based on a particular dating app, it sounds pretty similar to the one used by OKCupid, which uses a complex set of data to determine your compatibility with another user. (Here are the biggest mistakes you're making on Tinder, by the way.)
Using the statistical model, the researchers were able to predict fairly well the degree to which someone desired another person, and they were also able to somewhat accurately predict the degree to which someone else liked them. However, after researchers talked to both parties after the date ended, their responses were completely unpredictable, especially when it came to determining whether they were interested in pursuing a relationship with each other.
Dating apps and websites often boast about the efficacy of these secret sauce algorithms. But when you actually compare an algorithm’s predictions and speed daters' actual assessments of each other, it's clear that all the swiping in the world isn't all that effective. So basically, if you really want to use dating apps, don’t put too much stock in personalized questionnaires that promise to find your Mrs. or Mr. Right.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Lose Your Belly Fat

Your step-by-step plan for making your gut disappear
There's a secret every trainer in Hollywood knows, and it's one you should know, too: "The fastest way to look like you've packed on 20 pounds of muscle is to lose 10 pounds of fat," says Alan Aragon, M. S., the Men's Health Weight-Loss Coach and the coauthor of The Lean Muscle Diet. That's because the closer you come to removing the lard that covers your six-pack, the more defined every muscle becomes, making you look buff all over.
Which is why I've spent a lot of time trying to lose my last 10 pounds of flab. Unfortunately, like many men, I've found that goal to be frustratingly elusive. That is, until I enlisted the help of Aragon, whose nutrition and training methods have shaped the bodies of NBA athletes, Olympians, and competitive bodybuilders.
Using Aragon's advice, I slashed my body fat in half—down to a lifetime low of 6.8 percent—and sculpted not only the muscles of my midsection, but the ones everywhere else, too. Now it's your turn. Use Aragon's simple 5-step diet plan to finally finish off your gut for good. (And for Aragon's complete cutting-edge guide to losing fat, check out the The Lean Muscle Diet, available everywhere books are sold.)
CALCULATE YOUR CALORIES
When it comes to calories, Aragon has a simple rule: Eat for your target body weight. Let's say you weigh 220 pounds but would like to tip the scales at 180. You'll adopt the calorie intake of a 180-pound man
The formula: If you perform 1 hour or less of exercise a week, multiply your target body weight by 10. That's how many calories you should consume daily. However, if you work out more than that, add 1 to the multiplier for every additional hour you train. So if your target body weight is 180 pounds and you exercise for 3 hours a week, you'd multiply 180 by 12—giving you a target of 2,160 calories a day. You can divide those calories into however many meals you want—three, four, five, or six—as long as you don't eat beyond your daily limit.
EAT BY THE NUMBERS
Sure, you could just focus on calories. But by eating the right amounts of the right nutrients, you'll speed your results without feeling like you're on a diet.
Protein
You probably don't need to be sold on the virtues of protein, since it's the raw material for muscle growth. But it also helps extinguish your appetite and aids in fat loss.
The formula: Eat 1 gram for every pound of your target body weight. If you want to weigh 180 pounds, you'll eat 180 grams of protein. One gram of protein is about 4 calories. So to calculate the calories you'll be eating from protein, multiply the number of grams by 4. In this case, that's 720 calories.
Fat
For years, this nutrient was considered a dietary demon. However, recent studies clearly show that it's not fat that inflates your belly, but too many calories, period. And, it turns out, fat may actually keep you from overeating because it makes you feel full. The end result: You stop eating sooner and stay satisfied longer.
The formula: Eat half a gram for every pound of your target body weight. If your goal is to weigh 180 pounds, that'd be 90 grams. And since 1 gram of fat has about 9 calories, that's 810 calories from fat. This will be about 40 percent of your total calories.
Carbohydrates
Carb-containing foods not only taste good, but can also be rich in vitamins and minerals. So you don't need to eliminate them altogether; you just need to make sure you don't eat them in excess. And consuming the right amounts of protein and fat will make that goal far easier, since both keep hunger at bay. That's one key reason Aragon places a greater priority on protein and fat and leaves the remainder of your calories for carbs.
The formula: Add your calories from protein and fat, and subtract that total from your allotted daily calories. Using the 180-pound example, that leaves you with 630 calories. This is the amount of calories you can eat from carbs. As protein does, carbs provide about 4 calories per gram—so divide your carb calories by four to determine how many grams of carbs you can eat. In this case, it's about 158 grams.
CREATE YOUR MENU
Build your diet around whole foods—those you'd find in nature. You should choose mainly meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes, plus grain products that are made with 100 percent whole-wheat flour. Note that typical junk foods—candy, baked goods, and sugary drinks—don't make the list.
Use the food options below as a guide for designing your diet. Mix and match the foods in any way you like while following the calorie, protein, fat, and carb guidelines for your target body weight. The nutrition numbers listed don't provide exact amounts of calories and other nutrients, but these ballpark averages allow you to eyeball your intake.
DIAL IN YOUR DIET
Follow these rules to make your eating plan even more effective.
1. Consume at least 2 servings of vegetables a day. Vegetables are low in calories and high in belly-filling fiber.
2. Eat at least 2 servings of fruit a day. Fruit provides your muscles with plenty of carbs for energy, but has less impact on your blood sugar than grains and other high-starch foods do. This is important because it can help you avoid the cravings and binges that occur when your blood sugar rises quickly and then crashes. Ideally, the majority of your carbs will come from fruits and vegetables. So limit yourself to just two daily servings of grains, beans, and high-starch vegetables, and consume the rest of your carbs from produce.
3. On the days you work out, eat 1 hour before you exercise and again within 60 minutes after your last rep. For both meals, aim for 0.25 gram per pound of your target body weight in protein and carbs. So if your goal is to be 180 pounds, you'd eat 45 grams of each nutrient. This provides your muscles with a healthy dose of nutrients for fueling your workout and for upgrading your muscles after you're done. Keep in mind that your total protein and carb intake for the day doesn't change; you're just eating strategically for better results. Options are:
A preformulated shake, that has a mix of protein and carbs. Add fruit if it requires more carbs.
A shake that's almost entirely protein—such as Optimum Nutrition Whey—along with 1/2 cup of oatmeal and a piece of fruit.
A tuna-salad or turkey sandwich.
FORGET ABOUT THE DETAILS
One meal a week, go ahead and splurge. "There's always room for junk food, as long as it's a minority of your intake," says Aragon.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Plus: How to make some of your fantasies come true!
We all have personal preferences in the bedroom, some very common and others illegal in Texas. Still, we all deserve for some of our desires to become reality.
How do you make it happen?
The best way: Talk to your girlfriend or wife well before you attempt the act.
Here’s what most women think about 10 of your top sexual fantasies.
1. YOU WANT A THREESOME
She thinks: “Of course you do. Keep dreaming.”
Despite what you saw in Saturday Night Beaver, most girls don’t want to enter this territory. Granted, we can appreciate the female form.
And we’re not horrified at the thought of being in the same room with another naked woman. But what if we asked you to be with another guy? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The thing is, we’d always wonder whose company you were enjoying more. We might not admit it, but it’d cause some insecurity on our part. Get this out of your system before you enter a committed relationship, okay?
2. YOU WANT HER TO DRESS UP
She thinks: “Ooo, in what?”
Ask me to put on a squirrel costume and I might crush your nuts. Hey, some people are into that stuff!
If the costume has to be rented from hotmascots.com, it’s probably a no-go. It takes courage to dress up (some of us are not thrilled with our bodies) but we want to feel sexy for you.
As long as we feel good in it, or you make us feel good in it, there won’t be a problem here.
3. YOU WANT HER TO GO DOWN ON YOU
She thinks: “What else is new?”
Some girls really enjoy giving oral. If your girlfriend doesn’t, it may be that she’s not comfortable or confident with her technique.
Make her comfortable—and not by grabbing her head. Reassure her, tell her she does it the best, and guide her if you want something different.
Also, I believe it was Jesus who said give and ye shall receive. So give, often and well. Ye shall receive.
4. YOU WANT ANAL SEX
She thinks: “Ouch!” (and clenches her butt cheeks)
Listen fellahs, this is a gift. If you want it, you have to earn it. This will likely be more “thrilling” for you than her.
Hey, some girls are good to go, and enjoy it. Others, well, want some time to ease into that stage of a relationship. You know, the stage when she may drop a turd on your bed and you’ll love her anyway. Yeah, that stage.
Anal isn’t for the feint of heart, especially if you've had Mexican for dinner. Before you go there, watch The Truth about Anal Sex.
5. YOU WANT TO FINISH IN A STRANGE PLACE
She thinks: “Um, what? Why?”
Hey, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
The rule here is simple: Ask permission before you do it.
6. YOU WANT TO WATCH HER MASTURBATE
She thinks: “Awkward!”
Sorry, guys, but this is something we’re used to doing on our own, and in our own way. Though we understand why you’d enjoy watching, it can be super-awkward for us.
Your best bet: While you’re pleasing her, grab her hand and encourage her to show you what she likes. And definitely tell her how amazing she looks doing it.
7. YOU WANT TO TALK DIRTY
She thinks: “You go first.”
Use common sense here, guys. Ease in, and take it from there. Tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is. She’ll follow your lead and probably get into it.
8. YOU WANT TO DO IT IN A NEW, POSSIBLY DANGEROUS SPOT
She thinks: “Adventurous!”
But let it happen spontaneously. That is the fun of it. If you plan for it, the thrill is gone. In fact, she may get cold feet if she has too long to think about it. Keep her on her toes!
And try not to get arrested. Jail-cell sex isn’t nearly as hot.
9. YOU WANT TO WATCH PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Sure!”
She may not want to admit it, but some girls are just as turned on by porn as you are. Not the college-girl show-me-your-titties kind, but the grownup kind.
We understand that you’re going to watch it anyway, and it’d be more fun to watch with you and reap the benefits!
10. YOU WANT TO MAKE PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Can I trust you?”
It’s not posing that puts us off. It’s the prospect of showing up on YouPorn—or, frankly, your buddy’s iPhone.
Bottom line: This takes loads of trust. No matter how in love we are at the time, we know that not all love lasts forever. But pictures and videos sure do!

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

9 Things Happy Couples Always Do Before Bed

"I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex, it can severely damage the connection in a relationship."
Routines get a bad rep when it comes to romance. (Cue images of eating dinner in front of the TV and passing out before you can even think about getting frisky.) But that's not necessarily the case. Plenty of happy couples will tell you that routine isn't the enemy—in fact, establishing a nightly habit can help strengthen your bond and make you even happier. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the secret to staying out of a relationship rut might actually be to establish a daily routine.
To dig a little deeper, we asked real women about the evening habits that help keep their relationships going strong. Their tried-and-true nightly activities are just a few examples of one or two things you can do to strengthen your own relationship. The benefits may surprise you.
1. Treat each other.
“Almost every night, we have ice cream or frozen yogurt treats. It's a little thing to see who volunteers to go downstairs and to the back of our big old house to the freezer to get them each night. Partway through whatever we’re watching that evening, one of us will ask, ‘Did you say something about popsicles?’ and the other will make the trek downstairs to the freezer where we keep a stock of frozen treats, and grab a surprise for the other. We settle in on the couch with our popsicles and our pups and just enjoy the downtime together. After 20 years of marriage, it's as much about the everyday tiny things as it is the grand gestures—if not more so!" —Dana, M., married 20 years
2. Take a stroll.
"We normally spend all our evenings together. We both work at home and a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood is a good end to the work day and start to the evening." —Linda M., married 16 years
3. Get it on.
“If we've gone more than a week without having sex, we both make a point to make time for that. I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex (like more than two to three weeks unless you physically can’t, due to illness or being apart) it can severely damage the connection in a relationship. Even when I couldn't have vaginal intercourse after giving birth, I think we probably waited only two to three weeks and then, let's just say, we got creative with non-vaginal sex...” —Kaitlin S., married six years
4. Spend quality time in the kitchen.
“Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks. When one of us gets home, the other always fixes the other a drink (usually not alcoholic, could just be sparkling water with lemon!) and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.” —Ashley W., married two years
5. Turn TV time into together time.
“Our weekday evening habits are to watch the evening news with a plate of olives and other noshes then have dinner. Afterward, we watch TV. I love our binges! It still feels like a real treat to sit and watch and snuggle.” —Lisa D., married six years
6. Make time together a “chore.”
“When schedules get busy and we are coming home and eating at different times, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of launching into tasks. These bills need to get paid, this mail needs to get sorted, these dishes need to be washed. We try to make sure that some together time is also on the agenda.” —Naomi N., married six months
7. Make pillow talk more meaningful.
“At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for. We also sleep holding hands.” —Echo G., married 35 years
8. Tuck each other in.
“We usually go to bed at the same time, but on the nights we don't, the person staying up always tucks the other in. It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. It helps us connect—especially when we’re both swamped with work. —Kelli B., married one year
9. Schedule a regular night out.
“I never really understood the concept of having regular "date nights" after marriage, but now I totally get it! Going out really encourages conversation and forces you to relax and just spend time together in a way you don't when you're sitting around at home. I love having dinner at home with my husband, but there's a huge difference between eating and then quickly getting up to do the dishes and clean up as compared to just enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant. I think doing fun things together is a great way to keep your marriage enjoyable and healthy.” —Zara H., married one year

Sunday, 24 September 2017

5 Ways to Satisfy Any Woman

I was having a conversation with a guy the other day—and although this conversation may have taken place over copious amounts of beer, it was a very intriguing one, and I remember it clearly.I was having a conversation with a guy the other day—and although this conversation may have taken place over copious amounts of beer, it was a very intriguing one, and I remember it clearly. Can’t say much more for the rest of that day/evening.
This guy confessed that he had a rule in the bedroom: “The girl has to come first.” While I was at first charmed by his need to please a woman and put her needs before his own, I was also nervous at the thought of being the girl under that rule! The whole “who comes first” situation is a tricky one.
Take scenario A for example: You're nearing the peak and hoping your lady is at the same point. Pressure her to get there with you, and you run the risk of taking the pleasure out of it for her. Here’s a secret: That pressure to cum on cue is a big reason why women fake it.
Or scenario B: What guy wants to burst his joy too soon? This has been thought to be one of the worst things that can happen to a man in the moment.
After all, don’t women want to be pleased every time? Haven’t you been guided through many articles about the importance of pleasing her to first?
I’m guessing that for some guys, this leads to relentless worry of climaxing too soon—ahead of your lady, with images of her turning her head unsatisfied after you’ve finished.
While I can’t put myself in your shoes in that situation, I can tell you how I see it. And it might surprise you—or at least give you some relief. (Ahem.)
1. As expected—and cheesy as it may sound—we women like the experience of sex. We like the intimacy. We love to feel your body against ours. We love to feel like you want to explore and enjoy every inch of us. We love to feel completely desired. I am telling you that this alone fulfills a need for us that may be difficult to express. (#) We want to know that you want to take the time to make out with us and to partake in foreplay. Foreplay doesn’t have to equal an orgasm though!
2. If you pressure me, I will probably just fake it because I don’t want to deflate your ego. Honestly. Sometimes we just can’t get there, ya know? Just the same as you, right? (##) Hey, it depends on the day, what happened at work, where I am hormonally, and how sexy I am feeling. Adding the pressure—the pre-determined rule that she must come first—completely breaks the mood and, most times, any chance of me having the mind blowing orgasm you had hoped for.
3. Take it as it happens. So what if you blow your love joy super quick—find a way to redeem yourself. You shouldn’t be approaching sex with the anticipated notion that both parties are going to orgasm. Yes, in a perfect world, that would happen. But frankly, it just doesn’t. You know in the movies when the couple climax at the same time in unison and complete satisfaction? That’s bullshit. I mean this genuinely: Just enjoy the moments. Make her feel wanted, and give her the intimacy she craves. There can be genuine satisfaction in knowing that you have lost control over her. (###)
4. If you want a girl to climax, make it about her. We like to feel special, so surprise us after work with a massive makeout session and some serious oral action. Don’t make it clearly about wanting to please her—just please her and keep your boy out of it. When it comes to sex, saying things doesn’t always help—doing things does. So when you say, “I am going to make you orgasm,” you’re not helping yourself—or us. Although we appreciate your tenacity and determination, you should probably just make us climax—and not give us the play-by-play. (####)
5. Give her what she needs. I am not an extreme cuddler, but I can appreciate the brief, genuine cuddle session after loads have been blown (or not blown). Don't jump out of bed to air your unit in front of the air conditioner, (#####) and run off to play video games. Clean up and settle in for a second. That is what she needs. She needs you to give her that little bit of time without your joystick jabbing her in the crotch, even if just for a very brief moment. Hey! This could also be the perfect time to talk to her and get to know what makes her tick! Communication is hot. Your end game is to make her feel amazing, right?(######)
From the Peanut Gallery
#—OK, that’s great to hear. But to be clear, misguided or not, plenty of us guys are just overcorrecting for all the cavemen out there who take the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” approach that so many women complain about! (And believe us, lots of women complain!)

##—What?

###—Duly noted.

####—In other words: “Shut up and get to work, boy!”

#####—Good lord, Kate, what kind of freaks have you been dating?

######—That makes at least two really good points in one blog post, Kate! A record!


Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Sex Tip: Touch Her Here

There are ways to be touched that are brilliant and other ways that are kind of blah. If there's one thing we know about the way people touch each other during sex it's that they often touch their partner the way that they, themselves, like to be touched rather than finding out how their partner likes to be touched.
Although there's a lot of variability in how people like touch, it tends to be the case that men - whose genitals are covered in skin and less sensitive than women's - tend to prefer rougher forms of touch. More thrusting, more vigor. Whereas women - whose genitals are more vulnerable and some ways and more sensitive  in some spots (hello, clitoris!) - tend to prefer less aggressive touch. Women often prefer gentle tongue flicks on the clitoris or gentle but first stimulation of their genitals. Again, this isn't always the case - there are no clear gender rules in sex - but generally speaking this is often how things fall out.
So when men and women get together, we sometimes find that men get "grabby" with women's bodies and women are sometimes too soft or gingerly when they give hand jobs, with men asking them to squeeze a little harder. Lesson learned: rather than assume you know how your partner likes to be touched, ask him or her! Or try a few moves and ask for feedback ("does this feel good? would you like to be touched harder? softer? faster or slower?" etc). Got it? Good. Now go have some fun out there.

Sunday, 4 June 2017

The First Thing You Must Do in Bed

Check this off and it'll make the rest of your romp better
Generosity for the win: Focusing on what she craves in the sack also increases your arousal, says research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Researchers studied “sexual communal strength”—the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs—in long-term couples. Both parties filled out daily sex surveys for 3 weeks. Four months later, generous lovers  reported higher levels of daily arousal AND more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.
"There's a lot of research out there that suggests giving to others is good for the self," says lead study author Amy Muise, Ph.D., of the University of Toronto, and that effect is even stronger with a romantic partner. Plus, Muise says, knowing you can satisfy your partner's needs is a major confidence booster.
But zeroing in on her desires at the exclusion of your own won't deliver the same outcome, says Muise. The solution: Aim for compromise. If you usually perform oral sex on her because she loves to incorporate it into foreplay, see if she's up for something you want, like shower sex or a morning quickie before work. That way you'll both feel accounted for, Muise says.