13 Simple Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

 I’m sure you have heard plenty of people who have said, “Relationships are hard!” Sadly, that’s what most people think.

Why? Because they’ve never been giving the tools to make relationships easy.

I teach and write about relationships for a living, and when people say this to me, I respond with this:

“Relationships aren’t hard. It’s the PEOPLE in the relationships that make them hard.”

See the difference? In the first scenario, it implies that all relationships are inherently flawed and so we have to figure out how to fix that.

In the second scenario, it is shining light on the fact that people are imperfect. We all have our insecurities and we carry those into our relationships. While this is an inevitable fact of life, it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to overcome them and have a very happy relationship.

Maybe you know happy couples and wonder “What do they do that we don’t do?” Or maybe you don’t even know any happy couples! Either way, I’m sure at some point you have wondered what the secret to relationship success is.

I’m here to tell you, it’s not that difficult. As you will see from the rest of this article, these are pretty simple things that happy couples do every day. All it takes is some conscious thought and a desire to be happy – and more importantly – make your partner happy.

If I have your attention by now, then great! I’m happy that you are interested in finding the “magic formula” for a happy relationship. You can have that if you just follow these tips.

1. Talk to and Really Listen to Each Other

This sounds simple, right? I mean, why would you get into a relationship or marriage with someone that you didn’t want to talk to?

Well, it’s way more common than you think.

Take a look around these days. Most couples have their faces in their phones, laptops, video game, or some other electronic device. They have more of a relationship with them than their actual partner.

So, talk to each other. Listen to each other — and I mean, really listen to each other with your brain and your heart.

2. Stay Connected Through the Day

I dated a guy once who, when we were together, everything was great. We got along, everything was flowing, and I thought we really had something special. But the problem was, when we were apart, I hardly ever heard from him.

While some people might like the sound of this, it certainly doesn’t create or maintain any sort of intimacy between the two of you. Even if it’s a quick text during the day asking, “What are you doing?” or “I’m thinking of you, and I love you!” That’s all it really takes to keep the connection going.

3. Do Something Together

Sadly, as time goes on, a lot of couples lifk separate lives. Even if they live in the same house, they still cave live separate lives.

For example, a lot of men have (or want) a “Man Cave.” While that sounds great, what does it imply?

It implies that he wants to be left alone. He doesn’t want his partner bothering him. What kind of message does that send? I’m not implying that you need to be joined at hip or spend 24/7 together, but you need to engage with each other in activities on a regular basis.

4. Express Gratitude

I cannot stress enough how important this one is! Human beings take almost everything for granted – the food on their table, the roof over their head – you name it. Even the people we love the most.

All it takes is a simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you!” Even if someone makes you dinner every single night, still say “Thanks so much for dinner, babe. It was delicious!”

Everyone wants to know they are appreciated – especially for the things they do every day that can be taken for granted.

5. Say Nice Things to and About Each Other

Most people like to be complimented. Sure, not everyone. But even those people deep down want to feel good about themselves.

So, saying things like “you are so beautiful” or “you look sexy in that” goes a long way.

It doesn’t even have to be a compliment per se. If your partner is dedicated to health and fitness, you could say something like, “I really admire your dedication to your health, honey!” It’s so important to be positive to one another.

6. Put the Other Person’s Needs Equal to – or Before – Their Own

We live in a very selfish and narcissistic world these days. It’s all about “Me, Me, Me.” What can I get? Who can give something to me? How can I be better than other people?

That doesn’t work in relationships.

If you are only focused on what you can get from your partner, then you are neglecting them. You are not thinking about their needs – only your own. This does not work long term because it will definitely create resentment over time.

7. Wake up Thinking, “How Can I Make His/Her Life Better Today?”

So, instead of focusing on yourself and what YOU can get out of the relationship, you need to change your mindset. I stole this quote from Dr. Phil, by the way.

He always says this on his show. He says he wakes up every day thinking about how he can make his wife Robin’s life better today. And Robin confirms it too.

When we try to make our partner’s life better, then they will naturally want to make our life better too.

We want to give to people who give to us. And the opposite is true if no one is making our lives better.

8. Forgive One Another

Let’s face it – no one is perfect. And that means you, too. There is no such thing as perfection!

So, happy couples aren’t happy because they are both perfect. They are happy because they recognize that they are not – but forgive each other.

Forging comes in big and small packages. It could be a horrible betrayal, or it could be a simple annoying habit like leaving his socks on the living room floor every night without picking them up. Either way, forgiveness is a cornerstone of happy relationships.

9. Flirt with Each Other

You have to keep the romance alive. I can’t tell you how many couples I know that just let it die. I always say,

“Relationships are like plants. You need to water them every day or they will die.”

And romance is a huge part of that.

Flirt, compliment, and act like you are newly in love. Go on regular date nights. Schedule time for romance if you need to.

Keeping romance alive is a huge factor in happy couples’ lives. If you don’t have that, then you might as well be roommates or brother and sister. And who wants that?

10. Make Loving Touch a Top Priority

Touch comes in all forms. It is not just sexual touch, although that is important too.

Everyone has a different sex drive, so happy couples either have the similar needs in that department, or at least negotiate a middle ground.

Non-sexual touch is important too. Holding hands, snuggling on the couch, random hugs, little kisses through the day… All that touch keeps you connected physical – and emotionally.

11. Go to Bed Together

This might be difficult to do if one of you is an early bird and the other is a night owl. But when you get into the habit of not going to bed together, then it puts an ongoing separation between the two of you.

Even if one wants to go to bed earlier, the other one could come to bed too and read a book or watch TV. The important part is having a ritual of ending the day together.

It’s even better if you are in sync, that way you can spoon each other as you fall asleep.

12. Support Each Other

Many of us have hopes and dreams that perhaps we have not achieved yet. And that’s great! Because life is about the journey, not the destination.

Happy couples support each other not only in their hopes and dreams, but in any way they need.

If they are having family problems, they are there for them. This is just another way of saying that your partner “has your back.” You can count on them for anything.

13. Have Fun and Laugh Together

Life doesn’t have to be serious! Laughing, having fun, and have a great sense of humor is central to many happy couples’ lives. Humor makes life easier and more fun.

Even if your life is difficult, you can find a way to have some fun. Maybe go for a hike, or just watch a funny movie together. There are countless ways to generate fun and laughter.

The Bottom Line

As you can see, becoming or staying a happy couple isn’t that difficult. These are all very simple things you can do starting today!

The problem is, most people are not thinking about any of this. It takes some focus and a bit of effort.

But trust me… it is definitely worth it!

So, what are you waiting for? Go make your partner happy right now.

Carol Morgan

9 Tips on How to Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

 Being hurt by the person you trusted the most is probably one of the worst feelings. The betrayal makes it hard to trust anybody again.However, the worst part of being hurt by someone you loved so much is carrying the weight of hatred around. An unforgiving heart has no peace, and moving on becomes more difficult. If you don’t release forgiveness to the person who hurt you, then you would be in bondage to anger and pain for as long as you don’t let go.

Choose to forgive

You can’t live a happy and peaceful life without forgiveness. The painful memories of what the person did to you would haunt you forever, and it won’t make you feel good. That is why you should intentionally choose to forgive.It may seem impossible to forgive the person who has made you miserable, especially if the wound is still fresh, but with willingness, you can surely do it.Here are tips that can help you forgive the person who broke your heart. Try them with persistence and prayers and they will surely work.

1. Try to be reconciled with the person

This does not necessarily mean that you would be back in each other’s life. As civilized people, try to talk things over. This way, both of you would be able to express thoughts and heartaches. This may be necessary for proper closure of whatever relationship you had—in case there’s no chance to restore it.Being able to express your sentiments to the person involved can help you be freed from resentment. With this, you can release forgiveness sooner.

2. Decide to forgive daily

Forgiveness does not happen overnight. Wounds take time to heal, so you need to be patient in the restoration process. This does not mean you have to wait for your wounded heart to be healed to forgive the person who caused you pain. Just like love, forgiveness is a choice.When you wake up each morning, convince yourself that you have already forgiven him/her. Even if you don’t feel it yet, believe that you are in the process of getting there.

3. Pray for the person

Blessing the person who hurt you through prayers is understandably hard. Of course, it is not easy to pray for good things to happen to someone you resent, because deep inside you think s/he doesn’t deserve them.However, believe it or not, this act of humility and selflessness will bring you greater benefits. You may not realize it, but actually, your heart towards the person is gradually changed. As you pray for that someone sincerely, God helps you see him/her through His eyes—and your hatred is slowly turned to compassion. This will result in inner peace.

4. Stop thinking about how the person hurt you

Constantly remembering the past makes it hard to let go and forget. As you keep on reminiscing how you got hurt, your resentment is being reinforced, and your anger keeps growing.To stop this from happening, control your mind and filter your thoughts. Whenever the memory starts to creep in, consciously shun it away and find something else to focus on. Forgetting becomes easier, and forgiveness follows.

5. Focus on the positive side of the person

Instead of looking at the negative traits of the person who hurt you, decide to focus on his/her brighter side. If the person was able to cause you so much pain, it means s/he was—or is—someone you value much. For sure, s/he has good qualities that you like.Remember the good things that person did to you. Probably there were times s/he made you happy. Maybe s/he is not really an entirely bad person, and you can tell it. With these good thoughts in mind, releasing forgiveness will be easier for you.

6. Think that you’re not perfect too

Forgive, because you have been forgiven. Being gracious to someone becomes easier if you understand that you are treated with undeserved grace as well. If God has forgiven your sins and failures countless times, then how could you not grant that forgiveness to a fellow human who wronged you?You are not perfect and you also commit mistakes. You could have even hurt that person too. Therefore, forgive just like how you want to be forgiven every time you fail.

7. Don’t regret anything, but be thankful for the lessons

Bad experiences are usually painful, especially when you have been hurt by a loved one. However, don’t regret letting that person into your life. S/he could’ve hurt you, but surely you’ve also shared good moments together.Be thankful for the good memories and lessons you’ve learned with that person. Don’t wish you never met him/her.

8. Forgive for yourself

One of the reasons why you would want to forgive is yourself. Forgive, because you want to be free from the burden of resenting someone and you deserve peace. Forgive, because you want to move on and you deserve to be happy. You don’t want to be entangled in pain and bitterness forever.Forgiving is one of the signs that you are already moving forward. Therefore, strive to achieve this goal in the shortest time possible.

9. Find your own happiness

When you see that the person who hurt you is happy while you’re still miserable, it makes you bitter. Inside, you’re crying out that life is unfair. You think that you deserve to find happiness before s/he does. Of course, it is a normal reaction to want the one who caused you pain to experience the suffering you went through—even more. However, even if this happens, it won’t guarantee your own happiness.Therefore, instead of looking out for how it goes with the person you resent, focus on being happy. Happiness is not a competition. If you want to be truly happy, you will be compelled to forgive and let go of all resentments.

Restoration

No matter how much you’ve been hurt, there’s still a long way ahead of you. That’s why you should not stay down for a long time. Get up, and continue the journey. Time heals, and with prayers, your soul will be restored just in time for greater breakthroughs. For this reason, let go of all the weights slowing you down by forgiving whoever broke your heart.

Cyril Abello

If You Notice This After Eating Meat, Call Your Doctor, Experts Warn

 This health problem is becoming more prevalent due to the rise of one widespread pest.

Despite the popularity of vegan and vegetarian diets, a majority of people in the U.S. still do eat meat. In fact, according to a 2021 survey from Ipsos, 9 in 10 Americans currently include meat as part of their diet. With that in mind, it won't be hard for most to spot the symptoms of a concerning health condition that's becoming more and more of a problem thanks to another rising trend. Researchers are warning that the increasing prevalence of one pest across the country could have serious consequences for people's eating habits. Read on to find out what symptoms you should be looking out for.

Lone star ticks are being found in more places around the U.S.

Researchers have recently found that the presence of one troublesome tick is growing across the U.S., The New York Times reported on May 13. According to the newspaper, the lone star tick—named as such because of the white blotch on females' back—is usually found in the southern part of the country, but experts have started to spot this pest in increasing numbers in parts of the Midwest and the Northwest. Scientists say that this expansion is largely due to global warming, as the ticks have more time to feed on hosts and reproduce when there are more hot days each year."What we're now seeing is a wide open door for ticks to continue expanding their range further northward; bringing more people into the fold of the arthropod-borne diseases," Michael Raupp, PhD, a professor emeritus in entomology at the University of Maryland, told The New York Times. "We're venturing into uncharted waters in so many dimensions with climate change."

This tick can trigger a meat allergy in some people.

The lone star tick can spread a number of diseases and health concerns, but one of the most worrying is alpha-gal syndrome (AGS). According to the Mayo Clinic, this condition is "a recently identified type of food allergy to red meat and other products made from mammals," most commonly caused by a bite from a lone star tick. Researchers first started noticing an allergic reaction from alpha-gal in 2006, but they did not connect it to tick bites until several year later, The New York Times reported."The bite transmits a sugar molecule called alpha-gal into the person's body," the Mayo Clinic explains. "In some people, this triggers an immune system reaction that later produces mild to severe allergic reactions to red meat, such as beef, pork or lamb, or other mammal products."

If you notice certain symptoms after eating meat, you could have alpha-gal syndrome.

Food allergies are not always severe, but AGS is a "serious, potentially life-threatening allergic reaction," the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) warns. According to the agency, symptoms of this condition usually arise two to six hours after eating meat or dairy and can include any of the following: hives, an itchy rash, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, indigestion, diarrhea, cough, shortness of breath, difficulty breathing, a drop in blood pressure, dizziness, faintness, severe stomach pain, and swelling of the lips, throat, tongue, or eyelids.

Deborah Fleshman, a former nurse who has been diagnosed with alpha-gal syndrome, told The New York Times that her symptoms started in 2008 when she woke up to legs that had turned beetroot red and a torso covered in welts, with some being a foot wide. At the time, she said she felt like she was "dying.""It feels like you're on fire, and then it feels like you slept with a cactus," she said. "The itching is unbearable."

You should call your doctor if you think you have AGS.

An AGS reaction can also look quite different from person to person, and those with the condition might not have an allergic response every single time they're exposed to meat, according to the CDC. "It's never predictable. I know people that spend the night in the emergency room parking lot, waiting for a reaction," Jennifer Platt, an adjunct professor in public health at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a co-founder of the nonprofit Tick-Borne Conditions United, explained to The New York Times.Regardless, you should be discussing the possibility of AGS with your doctor if you experience any symptoms related to the condition—especially if you know you've been bitten by a tick. According to the CDC, AGS should be treated and managed under the care of healthcare providers, as patients might have to avoid certain foods, products, vaccines, and medications."If you think you may have AGS, go talk to your healthcare provider," the agency advises. "AGS can be severe, and even life-threatening. Seek immediate emergency care if you are having a severe allergic reaction."

Thousands of people in the U.S. have tested positive for the condition.

A 2014 study in the Journal of Medical Entomology reported that the lone star tick had already been located in 39 states by 2012. According to The New York Times, some maps indicate that the lone star tick has advanced as far west as Nebraska and as far northeast as Maine, with possibility that the tick has or can establish a presence in Washington, Oregon, and California as well."The spatial distribution of the species has definitely increased by at least 30 to 50 percent in the last half a century," Ram Raghavan, PhD, an assistant professor in epidemiology and disease ecology at the University of Missouri who has mapped the lone star tick's spread, told the newspaper.As the presence of lone star ticks increases, so have instances of alpha-gal syndrome. As of 2018, more than 34,000 people in the U.S. have tested positive for the condition, according to a paper published in April 2021. Per the New York Times, a publicly generated map indicates that AGS has hit individuals as far as Washington and Hawaii.

Kali Coleman

Secrets of the Best Relationships

 The biggest strain on a relationship isn't kids or lack of sex, or even the ubiquitous scapegoat called "no communication." It's everything balled up into one problem—lack of time.

The 45-to-54 age group has the country's highest percentage of divorces. To avoid joining their ranks, the best thing you can do in your 40s, if not sooner, is create daily or weekly rituals (independent of kids and other distractions) to ensure that you and your spouse spend some time together and focus on each other, not family logistics, says William Doherty. Ph.D., a professor of family and social science at the University of Minnesota and the author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart. "Rituals may not be efficient," says Doherty, "but they force you to make a connection."

Plan time together

Keith S. was inches away from divorce. Too busy launching his own engineering company, he completely neglected his wife, Anne. Then he heard his minister mention in a sermon how he had established a weekly date night with his wife. So Keith booked a babysitter for every Wednesday night for an entire year. "It literally saved my marriage," says Keith. Ten years later, with no kids left in the house, he and Anne are still having Wednesday date night.

Here are some more ways to spend time together.

1.Enter a mountain-bike race

Couple walking in a park

Couples who play sports together reduce their stress and feel closer in their relationship, says Bonnie Eaker Well, Ph.D., a couples therapist in New York City and author of Make Up, Don't Break Up. The wilder the better: "The adrenaline rush will be channeled into your romance."

2.Time travel

Couple running on beach splashing water

Pull out the photo album or home movies…those from way back, when you were at your youngest, supplest, and most attractive. "It turns you on to each other again," says Weil.

3.Make your organ bigger

Couple standing in a vineyard

Your brain, that is. "Try gardening, taking a course, attending a lecture, or taking up a musical instrument together," suggests Well. You'll boost your compatibility as you share enthusiasm.

4.Become a girlie man

Couple dancing outside

Don't click away! Take a second look at some virtues normally associated with our mothers, sisters, and wives. It's a psychotruism that, as we age, women and men become more like each other. They get more assertive; we get more interested in relationships.

Work out the kinks

Before you file for divorce, consider some surprising news from the University of Chicago: In studies of 700 miserable, ready-to-split spouses, researchers found that two-thirds of those who stayed married were happy five years later. They toughed out some of the most difficult problems a couple can face, including alcoholism, infidelity, dire financial straits, and serious illness. Their strategy? A mix of stubborn commitment, a willingness to work together on issues, and a healthy lowering of expectations. The added benefit? They avoided the financial and emotional stresses of divorce, which can be significant whether you have children or not.If you'd like to give your marriage a second chance, first identify the roots of your unhappiness, suggests researcher Linda Jo Waite, Ph.D., a sociologist at the university. Is there a serious problem such as infidelity or alcoholism? Boredom or emotional distance? Or outside stresses: A job, children's needs, or financial pressures? Then, use one of these tools for healing.

1.Wait it out

Woman embracing man from behind

With time, job situations improve, children get older and become less demanding, and you can develop a new perspective.

2.Work on your marriage

Couple under sheet in bed

See a marriage counselor, get advice from friends and books, and make time for fun together.

3.Ask open-ended questions

couple watching tv on couch

"Why are you upset? I'm 10 minutes late." That lets her vent, which eventually calms her down. If you have a comeback for everything ("Listen, I'm only 10 minutes late"), that'll enrage her more.

4.Give her subtle encouragement

couple sleeping in bed together

Listen, and say "OK" and "yes" as she's talking. It's what tells her you're listening. That makes her more agreeable to your position. Once her anger is spent, you can address the real problem—calmly.

5.Focus on your own happiness

man sleeping on boardwalk

Get social (join a book club, choir, or tennis league, or volunteer at the local food bank), or follow your personal bliss (take piano lessons, learn a craft, whatever!). Your marital problems may not go away, but having a source of personal joy allows you to build a happy life, no matter what.

Re-Create the Romance

The shortcut to a woman's devotion: surprises. Treat her to an out-of-the-blue gesture that pampers her. "The key is to do something that takes thought and effort and is just for her," says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a sexologist for mypleasure.com. "If she thinks you're just trying to get her into bed, your plan will backfire." Here are some sexy surprises that will make her feel like royalty.

1.Come clean

candles, flowers, and towels

Light a few candles, and fill a tub with hot water just before she gets home. Nothing says pampered like being bathed. Enhance the water with scented oils, either cucumber or banana and vanilla, says Alan Hirsch, M.D., neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Escorting her to the tub and helping her undress might be enough to encourage dirty bathing thoughts.

2.Eat in

man feeding his girlfriend

Instead of your standard takeout, treat her to a bedroom picnic — complete with a blanket on the floor or spread over the bed. Open a bottle of wine (white or champagne is less of a stain hazard than red), and serve up some finger foods like sushi, dim sum, or just homemade English-muffin pizzas."Making dinner plays to a woman's heart because it's one less thing she has to deal with when she gets home," says Carolyn Bushong, a psychotherapist and author of Bring Back the Man You Fell in Love With.

3.Make her bed

Yes, "high thread count" can be a sexy phrase. Be sure to pay attention to the color scheme in the bedroom, and pick up a new sheet set with a thread count of 300 or more in Turkish or Egyptian cotton. Then make the bed with the new stuff. You'll be pending much more time there now.

4.Play dress-up

man reaching into his girlfriends dress

Before your next night out, do a little role reversal and pck out the clothes you can't wait to see her in—and out of—later. Tell her you remember how good she looked the last time she wore that dress/blouse/cutoff concert shirt (extra points if you can recall when that was). "It shows her that you pay attention to how she looks and take note when she looks especially sexy," says Linda De Villers, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Love Skills. "Most men aren't good at this, so it'll put you a step ahead of other guys."

Editors

This Is Exactly How Long You Should Wait to Text After a First Date

 Relationship experts have answered the age-old question of when you should reach out.

For many people, there is nothing more nerve-wracking than a first date. But even if the date goes well, the dreaded questions that come up after the date may be even worse. Did you talk too much? Did they laugh at your jokes? And the inevitable: How long should you wait to text them? You may be worried that you're being held down by the arbitrary "three-day rule," but fortunately, it may turn out you're doing more worrying than necessary. According to experts, the best rule of thumb is that you should text someone within 24 hours after a first date.

Send a basic "thank you" text within the next 24 hours.

"When it comes to texting after a first date, you should text no later than the next day to say you had a great time, or to thank them for their time," says Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. "Most people will text within a few hours of arriving home and thank their date."Andrea McGinty, a digital dating coach and founder of 33 Thousand Dates, says that "texting a few hours after the date shows you appreciate the person's time, and you enjoy their company." And the research backs this up: According to McGinty, out of 752 single men surveyed by 33 Thousand Dates, 84 percent said they like hearing from a woman the same day as the first date.

But you can wait a few days to ask for a second date.

According to Trombetti, the 24-hour timeline is just when it comes to sending "the most basic thank you text." If you're looking to text about a second date or just to flirt, you can wait as many as three to five days after your first date.

And you can make exceptions for extraordinary cases.

McGinty says that 95 percent of the time, texting a few hours after a first date is the most appropriate course of action. However, there could be some instances where you may want to wait."The only circumstance where you wouldn't want to text soon after would be if they tell you something personal is happening later that day, and even then, you can incorporate this into your message," she says.

If the other person texts you first, you should reply within the same day.

You might not always be the first one to text after a first date. And while this may seem like it takes the pressure off of you, your response time is also important if you are interested in pursuing things further with this person."Not responding to texts is the quickest way to sink a new relationship before it even starts," Trombetti says. "If someone texts you, answering is a must during the same day you received the text. If you don't, your date will think you aren't interested in them." And to make sure you're keeping the conversation going, find out which One Question You Always Ask Can Kill a Conversation, Experts Say.

But avoid any late-night texts.

Both Trombetti and McGinty say you should leave the late-night texting out of the picture, especially if you've only gone on a first date with this person. McGinty says that if it's after 11 p.m., you're best waiting until the morning as a text this late at night could "signal you're getting too cozy with your glass of wine." And if you are drinking, you especially want to wait, as you don't want to scare your date away with a sloppy text.

Kali Coleman

20 Compliments Women Can't Resist

 These phrases will always be music to her ears.

Flattery will get you everywhere. (Or so says the cliché.) But when it comes to your relationship, it's only partially true.Compliments that are hollow will fall on deaf ears. (Or, worse, will backfire.) But if you deliver the right compliment—and you mean it—it will do wonders for your relationship. With that in mind, we've compiled all of the irresistible sayings that the woman in your life will always appreciate. So read on to discover how to win her all over again with just a sentence or two.

1."That New Hairstyle Looks Sexy"

"What a woman wants to hear is that you notice her specifically," explains Stefanie Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef in The City. "If she has been spending more time putting on makeup and clothes, at the gym, or getting a new hair cut/color, compliment her on that. Noticing and giving this kind of compliment can show that you are paying attention, which is what every woman wants."

2."I Love How You Always Take Care of [Insert Thing She Always Handles Here]"

"Women tend to take on a lot of the emotional burden in most households," notes Michelene M. Wasil, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, CA. "Making a comment on how kind or thoughtful she is means you really take notice that she's doing all those little things."

3."This Trip Has Been So Fun. I Know You Put A Lot of Effort Into It and It Shows"

This one isn't so much about what you say, but how you say it, according to Meredith Silversmith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach. "Saying, 'you look pretty,' is nice, but different than something like, 'I really love that dress on you. I know you've been working really hard to stay consistent with going to the gym and that dress really shows off your progress. You look great!' Adding a second layer to highlight reasons why you feel inclined to give the compliment provides more depth and allows for a deeper connection in that interaction."

4."I Can't Wait to Grow Old With You"

"Too frequently in our culture, getting old or things that are old are not valued as much as newer things," explains Monique Honaman, relationship expert and author of The High Road Has Less Traffic: Honest Advice on The Path Through Love and Divorce. To hear a compliment about growing old together builds a sense of excitement about all the things you will be able to do together as life changes and transitions. It conveys a value over the depth of the relationship and not a desire to move on to the next new thing. There are a few things we seem to value as they age (e.g., wine) and relationships should be on that list!"

5."You're An Amazing Mom"

An oldie, but a goodie. "If she is a mom, saying this validates her effort, shows respect for a job that doesn't get much feedback from a 'boss,' and shows you are appreciating the hard work it takes to be a mom," says Dr. Stacy Friedman, a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach.

6."I Love What You're Doing In Bed These Days!"

Even better, reference something specific she did between the sheets that you loved. "We are used to people complaining about the lack of sex, or the lack of creativity in bed," Safran points out. This is especially true when you've been together for a long time. "When you express that you enjoy things in bed, you might find her enthusiasm gets even stronger!"

7."I Admire Your Work Ethic"

"Genuine acknowledgement is the best compliment whether it's to a male or female partner," says Rori Sassoon, relationship expert and CEO of VIP elite matchmaking service Platinum Poire. If you think she's killing it at work, let her know. "When you acknowledge her for her talent, knowledge, or the skills that she is passionate about, she will feel validated and valued for her accomplishments."

8."You're My Favorite Person to See Every Day"

This compliment is a favorite of Nina Rubin, an LA-based life coach, because it's both sweet and effective. Not only does it show her that you look forward to seeing her every day (even if you live in the same house!), but it also speaks to the quality of the time you spend together, and hints at the fact that she's the reason that time is so good.

9."I'm Grateful For…"

"Find things you are grateful for about your partner and share it with her," suggests Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, a couples' therapist. "Whether it's gratitude for working hard, cleaning up the house or taking care of the children, complimenting your loved one in this way leads to increased positivity in the relationship."

10."What Do You Think?"

Asking her opinion shows you care what she thinks, which is a compliment in itself. "When you seek her advice in an area that she is knowledgeable in, it makes her feel valued," Sassoon says. "Tell her it is an area that you respect her knowledge or expertise in. She'll feel respected and admired."

11."Being Around You Makes Me Happy"

Knowing that she's a positive influence in your life will go a long way. Wasil suggests a remark about her attitude like, "I love how when things go really bad, you always have a way of getting through it and staying positive," or "You're so gracious and you know how to make me feel special."

12."What Would I Do Without You?"

"We often forget that expressing gratitude and appreciation is a compliment," Silversmith points out. "When your partner picks up your dry cleaning, you can say something like: "Thank you so much for picking up my dry cleaning. I really love how you take care of me. I wouldn't be able to do _______ without you." This takes the interaction to a deeper level of connection and feels super genuine."

13."I Could Never Leave You"

"You may be cringing or shaking your head at the mere fact that I am suggesting this needs to be said, but it does," says Nicole Merritt, founder of jthreeNMe. "So many married women are fearful that each and every fight and argument may lend itself to discussion about divorce. Sometimes us women just need it to be made clear that you are in it for the long haul, disagreements and all."

14."You Are Beautiful"

Make eye contact as you say this, Dr. Friedman suggests. "By looking into her eyes and saying she is beautiful rather than that she 'looks' beautiful (or that she is hot or sexy) is like saying that she as a person is beautiful." That includes not just her outer appearance, but who she is on the inside, too.

15."You Made The Holidays So Special This Year"

Showing you've noticed and are thankful for anything she's worked hard on will definitely brighten her day. "If she's spending time making your home festive, coordinating with family (yours or hers) to get everything done, letting her know that you appreciate it is something that helps her feel that you notice her efforts," Safran says.

16."You're Perfect for Me"

It's true that no one is perfect, but your partner absolutely can be perfect for you. Everyone has moments of insecurity, and Hershenson says this one can do the trick when a woman is feeling down or not quite herself.

17."You're The Prettiest Woman in The Room

"You can't go wrong with this especially when you are genuine in the compliment," Sassoon says. Of course, only say this when you think it's true—otherwise it could come off as disingenuous.

18."Your Bond With Your Family Is Really Incredible"

Or something positive about anything else she really cares about. "We tend to give the type of compliments we would like to receive, thinking our partners feel the same way," Silversmith notes. "Think about what's important to your partner. Does she cherish her family relationships? Does she highly value her career? Hone in on one of the areas she devotes a lot of time and energy to, then highlight something specific about that. It will make her feel really known and seen by you—and have a greater impact."

19."You Are So Resilient"

"Or substitute the word intelligence or strength for resilience, if you would like," Merritt says. "The point is that women respond so much more to compliments that are about traits that are outside of their appearance that they work hard to maintain."

20."I Wish I'd Met You Earlier"

This one works wonders, though it really needs to be true in order to have the full effect. With one little phrase shows that you love your life with her so much that you wish it could have started sooner.

Julia Malacoff

20 Compliments Men Can't Resist

 Say these sweet nothings and he's all yours—all over again.

Praise is crucial in any romantic relationship—yes, even for guys. Though your partner might exude coolness, confidence, and independence, trust me: When he does something right, he definitely wants to hear about it. Whether it's in the bedroom, around the house, or in a social situation, giving recognition where it's due will not only bring you closer to your partner, but will also make him feel more secure in the relationship. That's always a good thing. Ahead, find expert-approved compliments to give your guy that will make him fall for you all over again.

1."I Love The Way You Think"

"Rather than going to war with who is 'right' in the relationship, reward your partner for the way they think and problem solve," suggests Stacy Karyn, online dating consultant. "After all, you are a team, so it's best to start acting like one."

2."You Always Know Exactly What to Say"

"Men want to make things better, solve problems, and make you feel more seen, heard, safe and supported," says Allana Pratt, an intimacy expert and coach. Letting him know he made you feel better with his insightful words is a guaranteed win.

3."You're an Incredible Father"

"Although this compliment often goes to moms, most men take pride in their fathering skills and appreciate the recognition," notes Michelle Afont, relationship expert, divorce attorney and author of the upcoming book The Dang Factor. "Hearing what a great dad he is makes him want to be a an even better dad. Complimenting his nurturing skills and his tenderness with his children will warm your man's heart in all the right places."

4."I Love You Just The Way You Are"

"To be told you are accepted just the way you are is one of the greatest gifts you can receive," says Dr. Beverly Palmer, psychologist and author of Demystifying Love: Strategies for a Successful Love Life, which is why this is such an incredible compliment. "The essence of a lasting love is total acceptance of your partner, with judgment suspended."

5."You're Such A Good Cook!"

"Guys want to know that they are able to contribute and provide for you and, sometimes, they need reassurance that they have," explains Caitlin Bergstein, Boston-based matchmaker with Three Day Rule. "My boyfriend is a great cook and is typically the one to make dinner for us. For two years now, after my first few bites of food he looks at me anxiously and asks if I like it. When I compliment his cooking, he is proud of his accomplishment."

6."Can You Help Me Fix This?"

Yes, really. Showing you trust him to help you with a problem (or literally fix something that is broken) is one of the best ways to show him you trust him without repeating it over and over again. "This might sound weird, but men are natural fixers," says Dr. Ty Belknap, Professional Relationship Coach. "They want to help, so don't be afraid to ask."

7."You're A Great Listener"

"This compliment is twofold," says Justin Lavelle, Chief Communications Officer for Been Verified. "One is just he is good at listening to what you have to say but more importantly it says that he is connecting with you as you need by simply listening to you and not trying to fix you."

8."It's Amazing How Hard You Work"

"Men are bred to build and create," says Stephanie Lee, lifestyle strategist. "Complimenting him on how well he is doing at work or in his career will cause him to swell with pride and increase his desire to work even harder."

9."Your Beard Looks Nice Today"

You can change this one up to be more tailored to your partner, but the key here is to be specific. "Think of something about his physical looks or clothing that you know he likes and tell him how nice it looks," suggests Bergstein. "My boyfriend is very proud of his beard and when he's complimented on it, he lights up and it puts him in a great mood for the rest of the day."

10."I'm Lucky to Have You"

"This little saying can mean a lot to your man," Lavelle says. "It says that he is doing something right in the relationship department," and everyone likes to hear that they're killing it in the romantic arena.

11."Wow, You Really Know Everything About…."

One of the surest ways to a man's heart is to compliment him on a hobby he cares about. "All men know a lot about something, even if it's sports," Belknap says. "You may not like sports, but it certainly won't hurt to compliment him on his knowledge. It will make him feel good, and his buddies will be jealous that he has such a cool partner."

12."That Was So Thoughtful"

It's important to give credit where it's deserved, and you might even notice that he's being thoughtful more often than you expect. "Chances are, he's actually thinking about you all the time, and when you notice he is, it'll reinforce him to keep doing thoughtful things," says Andrea Leiser, Boston matchmaker with Three Day rule. "Plus, you'll feel even stronger in the relationship when you notice how thoughtful he is every day."

13."You Have Such A Good Heart"

"The more people hear things about themselves, the more they become a reality," Karyn says. "And I'm sure we can all agree that this world can sure use a bit more love. By building up your partner and the way they relate to others, you'll be creating a chain reaction of good hearts in the world. What compliment is better than that?"

14."I Loved How You Took The Lead on This"

If he put a lot of time into arranging something, give him a little heads up that you noticed his hard work. "Complimenting his planning skills will encourage him to want to take the lead more often," Afont says. "Men are often hesitant to take the lead in the relationship for fear of backlash for making the 'wrong' choice in a restaurant, hotel, destination, or outing. Although his choice may not have been your choice, you need to appreciate and compliment his effort."

15."You're Sexy"

Simple and deadly effective. "Men are just like women in this regard; they love when you compliment them on their looks," Leiser says. "So if he shaved, got a haircut, or hit the gym, let him know how sexy he looks."

16."You Handled That Really Well"

"Two of a man's inherent needs are to feel admired and respected by his lady," explains Susan Golicic, PhD, a certified relationship coach and co-founder of Uninhibited Wellness "These two are tied to his status with you and make him feel important and a priority in your life."

17."Your Smile Makes Me Melt"

Experts say it's a good idea to keep "dating" your partner long after your relationship is established, and compliments like this one—that you might say to someone on the first few dates—accomplish this effect. "This compliment is also great because it promotes happiness in your relationship," Karyn says. "The more you appreciate each other's smiles, the more good times there are going to be. And, as a bonus non-verbal compliment, make sure to respond to your partner's smiles with your own to spread some extra good vibes."

18."I Feel So Safe With You"

"It is in a man's nature to protect," Lavelle says. "He likes to hear that he is doing a good job by making those people who are in his inner circle feel safe."

19.Laugh at His Jokes

Showing that you love his sense of humor is one of the best ways you can flatter him. "All men are performers," Leiser says. "They need positive reinforcement for when they're trying to entertain you. The ultimate compliment is if you can play into his jokes and laugh together!"

20."You're Totally My Hero"

If he saved the day, give him the props he deserves. "It's not that you can't do what he did," Pratt says. "It's that he did it FOR you. Praise him. Mean it. Say it from your heart. Be a little vulnerable and let him see how his support moves you." 

Julia Malacoff

The World's Fastest Full-Body Workout

 If you have time to stand in line for a cup of coffee, you have time to rev your heart rate and make your muscles feel useful today. Try this quick multi-move exercise and say adios to all those lame excuses about lack of time for fitness. It engages just about every part of your anatomy, says Scott Rankin, CSCS, personal training director at Totum in Toronto. Do 12 reps, then get back to work.

1.Grab a pair of lightweight dumbbells and get into a pushup position—arms straight and hands on weight handles directly under your shoulders.

2.Do a pushup, Then, bring your feet underneath you, one at a time.

3.Keeping your back flat, stand up. (This is a deadlift.)

4.From the standing position, curl the weights up to your shoulders.

5.Swing your elbows out to your sides so the weights are above your shoulders.

6.Lower your body until your thighs are parallel with the floor. Pause, then stand up as you press the weights over your head. (This is a pushpress.) That's one rep. Return to the pushup position and repeat.

Scott Rankin

This One Thing Can Tell You If a Man Wants Love or Sex, Study Says

 Experts say that noticing this pattern can reveal his true intentions.

When it comes to dating, your potential partner's intentions are often shrouded in mystery. And though clear and honest communication is the hallmark of any solid relationship, some prefer to delay those conversations that might define the relationship too soon. In the meantime, you may be wondering whether a man is interested in you as a potential relationship partner, or if instead, he's only interested in sex. The answer, scientists say, is simple and observable: what a man wants is all in the eyes.According to researchers at the University of Chicago, tracking a man's eye movements can reveal "whether love or lust is in the cards." They claim that in as little as a half a second, a person's brain makes a snap judgement about others as part of an "automatic attentional process" to biomarkers in that person's appearance. If the basis of a person's attraction is solely physical, their eye patterns should reveal that they spend more time stealing glances at their date's body. If instead they're interested in romantic love, they're likely to focus on their date's face.Now, some might wonder, "Aren't these things intertwined? How could scientists possibly decipher between the two when even the person themselves may not know what they want?" It's a good question.

Stephanie Cacioppo, PhD, director of the UChicago High-Performance Electrical NeuroImaging Laboratory and co-author of the study, conducted previous research that answers it. That study (and others) found that while love and sexual desire are of course intertwined, they use "different networks of brain regions" to process the two feelings.To get to the bottom of whether two distinct intentions could be tracked using visual patterns, Cacioppo and her team designed an experiment where subjects were asked to look at black and white photos of attractive individuals they had never met. They were then tasked with deciding as quickly as possible whether the photos elicited a romantic or sexual interest, all while the researchers collected eye tracking data. They found there was no difference in how long it took subjects to identify potential love and lust: both appeared to be instantaneous reactions. Furthermore, the eye tracking data revealed that the location of the subjects' gaze was consistent with their reported interest.So, if you should find yourself on a date trying to decipher a man's intentions, this simple trick may give you a clue. Take note of how (and where) he looks at you to find out if it's lust or love he's after.

Lauren Gray