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Friday 24 September 2021

Love vs. Lust

 How do you differentiate between love and lust? You might be too consumed by your relationship now that you actually cannot identify what you truly feel for your partner.

If the reason why you wanted to be with the person was that you were attracted to his/her being ‘hot’, then maybe it was not really loved that brought you together. Probably, it was only the thrill of owning someone that could satisfy your needs and fantasies.

Here are 12 differences between love and lust that you should know to find out if you’re really in love with your partner or just physically attracted to him/her.

1. Love is person-centered; lust is pleasure-centered.

With love, fulfillment comes from giving what you have for the betterment of a person. You are fulfilled when you see that person happy and doing good in life.

With lust, you just want to be with the person for the gratification of your needs. This fulfillment comes from committing sensual activities to quench your sexual desires. You feel fulfilled when you experience pleasure through these acts together with that person.

2. Love does not depend on physical appearance; lust depends a lot on it.

Even if the person you love gets fat or s/he grows old and is not as good looking as when you first met, you would not think of leaving because of it. Your affection for your partner is not skin-deep. It goes beyond what your eyes see.

Nevertheless, lust is based on physical attraction. When the other person is not appealing to your eyes anymore, you eventually decide to leave.

3. Love is long-lasting; lust is momentary.

Love is a long-term commitment to cherish and care for each other that is built stronger through time. You and your partner work together to resolve conflicts that can end your relationship. This is all because you do not want to lose each other, but instead, you want it to last forever.

On the other hand, since lust is only focused on gratifying selfish needs, making the relationship last is not in your priorities. For you, parting ways with that person does not really matter. Anyway, you only see your relationship as something temporary—and that you could always find someone ‘hotter’ than him/her.

4. Love desires long-term commitment; lust is a no-strings-attached transaction.

Like what has been discussed in the previous number, love is about making your relationship last. You dream of having a family—in short, you envision sharing the future together. This involves a commitment to stay faithful and enduring throughout the years.

However, if you cannot imagine marrying the person in the future, but you enjoy doing ‘fun’ things together now, then it is lust. You are not committed to each other. You have an open relationship. Meaning, both of you can look for another partner if you want to.

5. Love sees the other person as a partner; lust sees the other person as a sexual object.

When you love a person, you see him/her like your other half (if you are in a relationship or you are married). In anything that would involve your relationship, you do not act on your own. That means when you make decisions, you always consider his/her views. Your partner is more than a need-gratifier.

A partner’s needs and wants must be respected and honored, but lust usually violates these in order to fulfill the other person’s own desires. You do not care if s/he does not agree with your decisions, because for you s/he does not have the right to meddle with your life. S/he is only there because you both benefit from each other.

6. Love builds; lust destroys.

Love builds up a person in all areas of life. It inspires you to excel in whatever you do because you want to be the best for your partner. This also drives you to help him/her to be successful. You want the person to achieve his/her dreams because you want him/her to be happy and fulfilled.

If your relationship is making you messed up, then probably you only stay for its physical benefits. Lust, although it can gratify sexual needs, will tear you up emotionally and spiritually. As you both engage in carnal pleasure—and you know there is nothing more to it—you gradually lose self-respect. In the long run, it makes you unmotivated to reach for your highest potentials.

7. Love gives; lust takes.

Love is sacrificial. You sacrifice and give a part of yourself—sometimes everything of you—to your partner. You want to contribute something that can help him/her in a way, never mind about you getting anything in return.

On the other hand, lust takes from your partner. It is centered on you taking and using whatever you can from him/her for your personal gain. You are focused on fulfilling your desires even at the expense of his/her needs.

8. Love produces joy; lust produces thrill.

A relationship that is based on the firm foundation of love produces joy despite trials or even when being together has become a usual task. It does not depend on the circumstances and adventures. The presence of your partner is enough to make you feel good.

However, with lust, you enjoy being with each other, because of the thrill of attraction. You stick together, because of the ‘fun’ that keeps your days from being boring.

9. Love waits; lust is now.

Patience helps us find the right person to spend the rest of our life with and be who that person deserves. Therefore, in love, we do not rush things—especially engaging in carnal activities—that can ruin the future of our partner. You work together to preserve each other for the right time because you do not want to cause him/her emotional scars, STDs, or an unplanned baby.

Lust and its desires quickly consume us to get our needs fulfilled at the very moment. When lust hits you, you would not care what would be the consequences of your actions, as long as you get satisfied now.

10. Love respects; lust gets disappointed.

When you love a person, you respect his/her principles and decisions. You would not force the person to do something which s/he does not want to, even if it means depriving yourself of something you want.

On the other hand, if what you feel for the other person is only lust, you get disappointed and mad when s/he does not give in to what you want. Your primary concern is having your needs and desires met.

11. Love sacrifices; lust seeks for other means.

This is in connection to # 10. Since you respect the decisions of your partner, you are willing to sacrifice your own demands just to honor his/her rights.

Lust does not focus on any person. It is all about your sensual desire. If your partner does not give you what you need, then you look for someone else who can satisfy it.

12. Love involves trust; lust does not.

When there is love in a relationship, there is a commitment between partners to remain faithful to each other. For this reason, you invest trust in your partnership—which is a necessary foundation for a long-lasting relationship.

Lust does not require trust. You hate it when the other person demands loyalty. By the way, please do not mistake jealousy as an indication of love. In case you feel jealous when you see the other person with someone else, it is because you feel your pride is stepped on.

Beware

Evaluate your relationship right now. If you realize all you are in is a lust-founded partnership, then you better ponder on what could be its long-term effect on you. If you let it go on for a long time, it would be hard for you to let go (because of attachment) and find the right person to love.

Wednesday 22 September 2021

The 55 Most Beautiful Places in the World

 There are so many amazing places around the globe to see, we couldn't possibly include them all in just one list. But, these breathtaking destinations are definitely worth bumping to the top of your travel bucket list–whether you're looking to relax on a beach, get off the grid or explore a city.

MACHU PICCHU

This World Heritage site is easily the most famous spot in Peru, and for good reason. The ancient terraced city’s astounding architecture and sweeping views of the surrounding mountains will leave you breathless (as might the nearly 8,000 foot elevation.)

SHARK BAY, AUSTRALIA

The most westerly point on mainland Australia is this UNESCO World Heritage Site. It was founded before Captain Cook discovered land at Botany Bay, with Dutch explorers touching down here in the 17th century. The area is diverse – there’s a beach made up entirely of tiny white shells, stromatolites on the shore of Hamelin Pool and the salt mine at Useless Loop, which produces the purest grade of salt in the world and is only accessible via four-by-four – or visible from the sky.

BORA BORA, FRENCH POLYNESIA

With turquoise lagoons, coral reefs and overwater bungalows, this small island in the South Pacific is basically heaven on Earth.

ST PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

The imperial capital of Russia for two centuries, the city is filled with grand architecture and historic art and is a leader in performing arts. The sun never fully sets in mid-June, turning the evenings a hazy grey. A trip to the State Hermitage, one of the best museums in the world, is a must, while watching the most famous ballet, Swan Lake, at the Mariinsky Theatre is an evening well spent.

OIA, SANTORINI, GREECE

All of the Greek islands are undeniably beautiful, but head to the hillside town of Oia for some of the best views of the bright blue Aegean Sea.

PARACAS, PERU

A small seaside town in the Ica region of Peru, Paracas is where the desert meets the sea. A trip to the area isn’t complete without a boat ride to Islas Ballestas, the rocky islands off the Pacific coast known for their diverse wildlife including flocks of sea lions and crowds of baby penguins.

ALGARVE, PORTUGAL

The red-cliff coastline and pristine whitewashed Moorish villages that dot the south-western region of Portugal have started shifting crowds away from the region’s busier hotspots. It has its own sunny microclimate and affordable places to stay such as Casa Mãe in Lagos make it a great winter-sun option too.

FERNANDO DE NORONHA, BRAZIL

This remote volcanic archipelago (located about 200 miles off Brazil's coast) is famous for pristine white-sand beaches and crystal-clear waters filled with sea turtles and dolphins.

PARIS, FRANCE

With its striking architecture, grand boulevards, world-class art, jewel-box patisseries and classic places to stay, this is a city that never sleeps. Its unrivalled food scene is best experienced by stumbling upon corner bistros down cobbled streets.

HÒA BÌNH, VIETNAM

Vietnamese for peace, Hòa Bình province is located in the north of the country and is home to hill tribes including the Hmong, Muong and Dzao, plus endless rice fields.

SARAKINIKO BEACH, MILOS, GREECE

Off-radar Milos has some of the best beaches in the Aegean without the buzz of Mykonos or Santorini. Moon-like Sarakiniko is made up of mounds of undulating bone-white, wave-like volcanic rock and forms one of the island’s most mesmerising bays.

GIZA, EGYPT

Home to the Great Sphinx and the Great Pyramid of Giza, this city was Egypt’s capital during the first pharaohs reign. It’s also a must-see on everyone's bucket list.

ANTARCTICA

The most extreme continent on earth is also the coldest, windiest, driest and most inhospitable to forms of life. Pristine and practically untouched, no one lives in Antarctica full time, apart from seals, penguins and marine life. It’s as remote as one can get.

DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA

Known as the hottest place on earth, Death Valley reached a record temperature of 53°C in 2019. It’s a vast area of extremes: with snowy peaks, scorching sands and wildflower meadows, the National Park encompasses a wide range of different landscapes. One of the most popular locations is the multi-hued Artists Palette, a series of eroded hills whose colouring is due to the oxidation of natural metal deposits in the mountains. ‘Star Wars’ fans will be keen to see the site that inspired the planet Tatooine.

PROVENCE, FRANCE

In summer, endless fields of lavender in bloom turn the Provençal landscape purple. At the end of the season, when the crop is harvested, honey, soaps and pastries are made with a fragrant dose of the plant.

BAYON, CAMBODIA

Built in honour of one of Cambodia’s most famous kings, Jayavarman VII, Bayon is a 12th-century state temple that’s a unique architectural feat in the heart of Angkor Thom. Fifty-four gothic towers carved with 216 gargantuan smiling faces of Avalokiteshvara – the bodhisattva of compassion – fill the temple, and the design showcases the shift from Hinduism to Mahayana Buddhism. With Angkor Wat not far away, Bayon, its off-the-beaten track little sister, is a close second in popularity.

GRAND TETON NATIONAL PARK, JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING

The famous three peaks of the National Park are among Wyoming’s most recognisable sights, the Grand forming the highest point of the range. It’s a hike on many pro adventurers' list, but for newbies looking for an outdoors excursion floating down the Snake River or mountain-biking through the 310,000-acre landscape are viable options, too. Top it off with supper at Snake River Grill in Jackson’s town centre and an overnight stay at the cliff-side Amangani.

ANGEL FALLS, VENEZUELA

The world’s highest waterfall, with 3,212ft cascades, is located in the UNESCO-protected Canaima National Park and was the inspiration for the Disney film ‘Up’. The site is only accessible by boat or plane.

KYRGYZSTAN

A gateway to the East, Kyrgyzstan has natural beauty. Unspoilt pine forests, rocky ridges and rolling jailoos (summer pastures) are typical of the country. In the warmer months visitors flock to glacial lakes, while in winter a stay with semi-nomadic shepherds is an experience unlike any other.

GRAND CANAL, VENICE

The 12,500ft-long canal runs straight through the centre and has inspired numerous artists including Canaletto, Monet and JMW Turner. Flanked by buildings dating from the 12th to the 17th centuries, it’s the grandest waterway in the Floating City.

HWANGE NATIONAL PARK, ZIMBABWE

Hwange has a greater diversity of mammals than any national park in the world and is the largest natural reserve in Zimbabwe. The size of Belgium, it is home to more than 50,000 elephants and 500 species of bird. The wet-season winter months are the best time to see migratory birds or book an off-season safari when the park gets fewer visitors.

MONGOLIA

A third of Mongolia is covered in desert, and while it’s the 18th-largest country in the world, its three million inhabitants make it the most sparsely populated. Visitors can go local: riding horses, helping to look after livestock and sleeping in a herder's ger – a traditional felt yurt.

BALI, INDONESIA

Minutes from scooter-buzzing Ubud are artsy, low-key villages, vivid green rice paddies, lush forests and vast jungles. Bali is one of Indonesia’s 17,000 islands and sees an average temperature of about 30°C year round. Explore by bicycle and then head to one of its many cool beach clubs.

ATACAMA DESERT, SOUTH AMERICA

On a route made famous by revolutionary Che Guevara who kicked off his motorcycle journey in Buenos Aires, head down to Chile through the Atacama Desert into the Peruvian Amazon and up to Venezuela. Vast expanses of sandy flats quickly roll into high tops of dunes and gorges leading to plateaus of dusty grass. It’s a trip for explorers, with the Andes standing tall above the Argentine–Chile border, blurring one side into the other. NASA even uses the desert as a testing ground for future Mars missions.

MOUNT FUJI, JAPAN

Fuji-san, the tallest peak in Japan, is a sacred mountain and symbol. On a clear day, it can be seen from Tokyo, but one of the best ways to view the still-active volcano is by taking the shinkansen bullet train from the capital to Osaka (top tip: sit on the right-hand side for the best views). Surrounding areas Hakone (where there are natural hot springs) and Fujigoko are worth visiting during cherry-blossom season.

JAIPUR AND THE HAWA MAHAL PALACE, JAIPUR, RAJASTHAN

The largest city in Rajasthan is filled to the brim with buzzing bazaars, sacred lakes and gilded royal palaces – the decadent 18th century Rajmahal Palace is now notably owned and operated by the Sujan group, who have turned the royal residence into a smart hotel. Among the famously rosy-hued buildings of the Pink City, the honeycomb-like Hawa Mahal, or Palace of the Winds, is surely the most recognisable of all. The incredible sandstone structure has 953 small exterior windows (called jharokhas) decorated with intricate lattice work.

SKELETON COAST, NAMIBIA

The Namib Desert is the oldest in the world, and in the middle of its vast Skeleton Coast are endless miles of stone and sand, dry riverbeds and dunes. Desert-adapted animals here include elephant, giraffe, lion, brown hyaena and Cape fur seals that thrive in the area.

THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS

It’s a few hours from buzzing Edinburgh, not far from the Cairngorms, to the start of the eastern Highlands. Stretching around Skye, around the North Coast 500 route up to the village of John O' Groats, the region is also home to the tallest mountain in the British Isles, Ben Nevis. There’s natural beauty everywhere, from babbling Fairy Pools and big-horned cattle to clear coastal waters and snowy mountain caps.

PAMUKKALE, TURKEY

Meaning cotton castle in Turkish, this natural wonder is made up of layers of white travertine terraces of ice-blue spa pools. It’s also next to the site of the well-preserved ruins of Hierapolis, the Greek-Roman city established in the 2nd century BC.

THE ALPS

Stretching over eight countries – France, Switzerland, Monaco, Italy, Liechtenstein, Austria, Germany and Slovenia – the Alps are the most extensive mountain range in Europe. It has some of the greatest skiing in the world with popular towns including Chamonix-Mont-Blanc (the highest mountain), Lech, Gstaad and Courchevel.

BAZARUTO ARCHIPELAGO, MOZAMBIQUE

This archipelago of five islands – Bazaruto, the largest, Benguerra, Magaruque, Santa Carolina and the smallest Bangue – was once part of a peninsula connected to the mainland but now, when the Indian Ocean retreats at low tide, swirls and ripples of white sand become visible. A protected marine park, its waters are rich in manta rays, schools of dolphins, hawksbill turtles and dugongs (cousins of equally curious manatees).

OJOS DEL MAR, BOLIVIA

Six turquoise waterholes lie within the salty plains of Ojos del Mar in the Tolar Grande region of Bolivia. Inhabited by stromatolites (deposits formed by algae) and microorganisms, the water can change slightly in colour, depending on the angle of the sun, from bright blue to seafoam green.

MT. COOK, NEW ZEALAND

Home to the tallest mountain in New Zealand, the Aoraki/Mount Cook National Park, part of the Te Wahipounamu World Heritage Site on the South Island, is a mountaineer’s dream. More than 40 per cent of the area is covered in glaciers, with the largest and longest named the Tasman Glacier. It was here that Sir Edmund Hillary trained for the first momentous ascent of Mount Everest.

GORDES, PROVENCE

One of the Luberon's most striking hilltop hamlets, Gordes stands tall on the edge of the Vaucluse plateau. With views across the surrounding region of Provence, the quintessential medieval town is a must-visit. A stay at Bastide de Gordes, the village’s most glamorous hotel, will make the trip complete.

EMERALD LAKE, BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA

Easily one of the Canadian Rockies’ most recognisable landmarks, Emerald Lake is located within Yoho National Park in British Columbia. Backed by the towering mountain peaks of the President Range, in summer the clear glacial water is ideal for canoeing and attempting a quick swim.

THE FAROE ISLANDS

The self-governed group of 18 volcanic islands makes up this remote archipelago where sheep outnumber humans. Grass-lined houses, craggy coastlines and lush waterfalls are all part of the Nordic landscape but there’s a surprising food scene too.

HONG KONG

Modern high-rise buildings meet period architecture in retro Hong Kong, one of the most densely populated cities in the world. It’s a street-food capital where eating dim sum like a local in an old teahouse is a mandatory experience. For the best views of the harbour, catch a Star Ferry or hike the hills of Ma On Shan, one of the summits that surround the city.

JODHPUR, INDIA

The magical, walled Blue City is a tangle of winding medieval streets. The monumental 15th-century Mehrangarh Fort, which is still run by the royal family and now serves as a museum, looks out over the old city and its mesh of box-shaped buildings, shops and bazaars.

ANTELOPE CANYON, ARIZONA

The Navajo name of this slot canyon translates to ‘the place where water runs through rocks’ and the narrow ravine is an American Southwest treasure, filled with ripples of eroded stone formations, and sunlight creating orange filters and bright patterns.

SVALBARD, NORWAY

This Arctic archipelago, about a three-hour flight north of Oslo, has one of the harshest environments on the planet. Nearly two-thirds of it is protected and the islands are made up of bird sanctuaries, nature reserves and national parks where polar bears roam. The Northern Lights can be seen in the winter and in the summer, when the temperature tops out at 6°C, the sun doesn’t go below the horizon.

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK

The forward-thinking capital of Scandi cool appeals to foodies, design junkies and a cool young crowd. With its ground-breaking food scene, including world-famous Noma (and Noma 2.0), it’s a city to be taken seriously. Colourful buildings dot the central Nyhavn port, but it’s worth exploring alternative community Christiania, quirky Vesterbro and hipster Nørrebro, too.

LAMU, KENYA

The old town of Lamu, on the Indian Ocean island of the same name, was established in the 14th century. Now a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the port city is a mish-mash of cultures – Swahili, Asian, Arabic, European – while along the laid-back coast majestic dhows sail by all day long.

WULINGYUAN, CHINA

More than 3,000 narrow, quartz-sandstone pillars make up Wulingyuan Scenic and Historic Interest Area in the Hunan Province. These natural wonders, many higher than 656ft, are broken up by ravines, gorges, caves and waterfalls. It’s easy to see why the UNESCO World Heritage Site was James Cameron’s inspiration for Avatar.

REDWOOD NATIONAL PARK, CALIFORNIA

Home to the world’s tallest trees, Redwood National Park, north of San Francisco, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and part of an International Biosphere Reserve that protects close to half of the planet’s old-growth redwoods – some of which are 370ft high. With more than 200 miles of trail routes, it’s ideal for camping, hiking and riding.

HAVANA, CUBA

The crumbling façades of this island nation's capital keep bringing in waves of travelling artists, rum fanatics and cigar smokers to the city. It’s where Hemingway wrote seven of his books and drank Mojitos at La Bodeguita del Medio. And with temperatures of 27°C in December, it’s an ideal winter-sun destination.

KYOTO, JAPAN

Considered to be the cultural centre of Japan, Kyoto is awash with ancient temples and shrines, serene teahouses and sublime gardens. The bright-orange Fushimi-inari, a shinto shrine in the hills, is a visual beauty. Grab an artisan coffee, taken very seriously in the traditional city, and make the two-hour pilgrimage through the shrine's thousands of torii (gates). Other spots worth visiting include Gion, the home of the geishas, the golden pavilion of Kinkaku-ji and Nishiki market for street food or a traditional kaiseki feast at one of the city's local restaurants.

MARRAKECH, MOROCCO

The kaleidoscopic city may best be known for its market life, spice sellers and ancient medinas, but its reimagined riads, cool independent shops and contemporary art scene are giving it a modern edge. There are lots of places to discover – from Yves Saint Laurent’s restoration of cobalt-blue Jardin Majorelle to the smoky street-food stalls in Jemaa el-Fna.

ISCHIA, ITALY

A quick ferry ride from Naples, the island of Ischia – famed for its thermal spas and unshowy local life – is a tumble of fishing villages and beaches that match Amalfi but without the crowds.

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL

The Old City, sacred to a number of religions, blends grand design with places of prayer. Dome of the Rock on the Temple Mount is one of the oldest extant works of Islamic architecture. Meanwhile the Kotel, also known as the Western Wall, is a must-visit for any first-timer and is considered to be the holiest site in the Jewish faith.

BONDI ICEBERGS, AUSTRALIA

Bondi Icebergs might easily be the most famous pool in the world. The Olympic-size structure has been standing on the southern end of Bondi Beach for more than 100 years. It’s not heated or chlorinated, but filled with seawater, with the Tasman Sea crashing against its edge.

THE PHILIPPINES

The Philippines has more than 7,000 islands – about 5,000 of which are uninhabited – where roughly 175 languages are spoken. For diving, El Nido is the ideal spot with crystal-clear water and vibrant marine life.

ARASHIYAMA BAMBOO FOREST, JAPAN

About 20 minutes outside Kyoto’s city centre is the atmospheric Arashiyama bamboo forest. Arrive at around 7am to avoid the crowds and get a chance to see and feel the wood, as well as hear it creaking in the wind. Morning light is just as ethereal, too. Arabica coffee shop is nearby, overlooking Hozugawa River.

LAS COLORADAS, YUCATAN, MEXICO

The incredible pink lakes here make up part of the protected nature reserve of Ría Lagartos Biosphere on Mexico’s Yucatán peninsula. Red-coloured algae, plankton and brine shrimp that thrive in the waters not only turn the native flamingos pink but help produce 500,000 tons of salt per year.