Tuesday, 14 June 2016

'You Want to Have Sex WHERE?'

From a merry-go-round to a hospital room, here are 7 adventurous spots to get it on in 2015
Having sex in a bedroom is so 20th century, so.... well, something your parents would do. (Apologies for the mental image.) But it doesn't have to be that way. 2015 could be the year you bring some carnal theatrics to your life, and take the sex outside the home where it belongs.
Sound too kinky? Not according to science. Women are actually kinkier than you think. (For more, find out how to Turn Her Sex Fantasy into a Reality.)
But how do you keep it interesting without, you know, ending up in handcuffs? As with anything dangerous in life—mountain climbing, major surgery—it helps to get some pointers from somebody who's been down that road before.
Somebody like, well, me.
I also know a few people who've made brave sex geography choices. They're seasoned vets of outdoor sex— the Indiana Jones and Lara Crofts of lovemaking, if you will—and they're more than happy to share their stories.
Let's take a closer look at some of your options.
Location: Airplane bathroom
How It Can Go Right: On a flight from Los Angeles to Mexico, my boyfriend at the time and I thought we were being stealth, slipping into the restroom one at a time to become a member of the elite Mile High Club. The best sex positions involved having him sit on the toilet (seat down, of course) with me on top. Reverse cowgirl is actually a good position for this one, because the girl can keep her hand on the door just in case the sky marshal breaks in.
We thought we’d gotten away with it, until we returned to our seats and two flight attendants walked up, silently put our tray table down, and laid out a tablecloth, two champagne glasses, and a small rose in a vase. “Congratulations,” they told us.
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: If you're lucky like me, you get rewarded for your kinkiness. But in this post 9/11 world, any suspicious behavior, like locking yourself in a bathroom, can get you naked for a whole other reason—a body cavity search by TSA.
Location: A public stairway
How It Can Go Right: My date and I had instant chemistry, and all the neck nibbling and "what I would do to you" dirty talk was making it very difficult to wait. So he escorted me into the bar’s back stairway and instantly pinned me to the wall, facing the wall. (I digress, but guys, this is truly nearly every woman’s favorite move, and most of you simply do not do it enough.) He pulled my leggings down, just past my ass, as I arched for easy entry. The excitement and foreplay at the table was just too much, and he came faster than you can say, "Check please!"
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: In this case, coming fast is encouraged because just moments after he pulled out, a group of people came down the stairs to have a smoke. If you're actually pre-planning public sex, don't knock one off before you head out on your date. Quickies are the best way to avoid having your racy little romp revealed.
Location: On a merry-go-round
How It Can Go Right: It was "one of those old metal merry-go-rounds that you spin yourself," says Scott, 48. "She wanted it spinning while we had sex, so I obliged. With my manhood dangling, I started running that thing around as fast as I could. I hopped on the ride and she hopped on me. There is nothing like a simultaneous orgasm while spinning."
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: Be careful not to spin the merry-go-round too fast. Nothing kills a boner like your girl puking all over it.
Location: Ferris wheel
How It Can Go Right: Working at a carnival game booth has its privileges for Richard, 52. "We were at the top of a Ferris wheel at an amusement park," he says. "She had on a mini skirt and took off her panties. When we got to the top, I slid into her kind of sideways doggie style."
They were definitely seen by people in the building across the street, which he says "made it more exciting. About a minute after we got off the ride, the cops came running up. I guess they didn't have a good description of which couple was having sex on the Ferris wheel, because we got away."
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: These two lucked out by being so nondescript that the rent-a-cops didn't find them and cite them For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. If danger is your middle name and you want to try this, remember to bring a blanket, and wear something nondescript.
Location: Closet
How It Can Go Right: I hosted a surprise birthday party for my friend at my house, and passion overtook any sense of etiquette. When no one was looking, my date and I snuck into the living room coat closet. Hearing the voices of the party guests directly on the other side of the door made it all the more exciting, and everyone was having so much fun that they didn't even notice when we exited the closet and rejoined the party with ear-to-ear grins.
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: While my daring dalliance didn't get discovered, another friend of mine had a similar experience that went horribly awry. "My boyfriend's mother invited me over for a home-cooked meal," says Mari, 31. "Just as he was going down on me, his mom swings open the door and says, 'Dinner's ready!' The look on her face will haunt me forever.”
And it just got worse. “The really awkward part was sitting at dinner, making small talk with his mom as my boyfriend silently hung his head in shame."
Location: Hospital
How It Can Go Right: Instead of "Sex Sent Me to the ER," as in the TLC reality show, the ER actually sent Sean, 20, into hyper-sex mode. "I was in the hospital for knee surgery," he says. "It wasn't that the hospital made my horny; it was just a way to relieve stress. If you have a high sex drive like I do, an orgasm calms you down even if you're in a stressful place. The chance of getting caught was an adrenaline rush, but knowing the nurses' schedule helped us know how much time we had."
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: Your enemies here are a squeaky bed, a door that doesn't lock, and thin walls (or curtains) that reveal every moan and groan. "Sean suggests “doing it doggy style on the floor holding the door closed,” but that may not be enough to keep the medical staff away.
Location: A moving car
How It Can Go Right: Sound dangerous? Meh. Here's how I successfully accomplished this the safe sex way. First, the guy must keep his seatbelt on, eyes on the road, and hands at 10 and 2 at all times. Let your partner do the, ahem, heavy lifting.
While carefully mounting him at a red light, I placed my head to the left of his and facing backwards, so he could see—this is not the time for Reserve Cowgirl—and rode him for miles. It's easiest when she's petite, flexible, and wearing a skirt. It's also a good idea to stay in the right lane, so if you swerve right it's into the shoulder and not another car.
How It Can Go Very, Very Wrong: You might be tempted to thrust back, hold onto her hips, or suck on her breasts, but please don't. Never take your hands off the wheel—just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Monday, 13 June 2016

Did She Come? Here's How to Find Out

Get answers from her for your burning sex questions
Here's some awesome news: Women throw sex toy parties!
And in not-so-awesome news: Women talk about their sex life at these parties—but only because it’s too awkward talking about it with you.
In a study in the International Journal of Research, researchers found that nearly 95 percent of women at sex toy parties sought sexual information from the party host. Results showed that women turned to these hosts for intimate, sexual advice (like how to enhance their pleasure, boost their libidos, and achieve orgasm).
The study authors suggest that the parties provide a relaxed, nonjudgmental atmosphere for women to ask questions. And while the prospect of women talking about sex with each other is always welcome, shouldn’t you be a part of that conversation?
Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women, says that in order to initiate a post-sex discussion with her, the key is to open up with a compliment about something she does that blows your mind. That way it’ll ease the awkwardness for when you pop the questions you want answered, explains Landa.
Try the technique before serving up these five burning sex questions:
• What You Want to Know: Did she come?
How To Bring It Up: Tell her that it helps get you off when you see her orgasm, Landa says. That way, by letting her know you’ll do anything to see her climax—she’ll be more likely to be honest about telling you if she came.
• What You Want to Know: Is she up for trying new positions?
How to Bring It Up: "Place the origin [of the ideas] onto something else," says Landa. So if you’ve got a specific position in mind, tell her you had a dream last night about trying a hot new position. "By taking the direct pressure off of you, she may be more willing to try and recreate this fantasy," says Landa.
• What You Want to Know: Am I going too fast?
How to Ask It: Let her know how much you enjoy it when she’s on top and controlling the speed. If you tell her it’s sexy when she sets the tempo, it won’t be a surprise when you ask her about your thrusting techniques, says Landa.
A better understanding of her anatomy and the process of her arousal can help you give her an orgasm every time. Check out How to Pleasure a Woman for a comprehensive guide.
• What You Want to Know: Does she need more clitoral stimulation?
How to Bring It Up: Your first objective: Get her off before you get busy. After sex, tell her how hot it is when she climaxes during foreplay. "If you're already on the topic of clitoral stimulation, it makes it more casual when you ask if she's looking for more during sex," says Landa.
• What You Want to Know: Am I good at oral?
How to Bring It Up: The easiest way to talk about your below-the-belt technique is to bring up hers first. Say that you love the way she utilizes her tongue—and then ask her about what she likes. Once the topic is on the table, she’ll feel more comfortable giving suggestions, Landa says.

Saturday, 11 June 2016

7 Secrets to a Flat Stomach

Follow these tips to get toned, enviable abs

It may not be a secret that the best way to a six-pack is regular exercise and a healthy diet (even if it's no diet at all), but there's a right way and wrong way to a flat stomach. Read on for the ultimate guide to getting flat abs.
1. Know the Formula Getting flat abs isn't about starving yourself or living at the gym. Reducing belly fat involves a mix of smart eating and effective exercise. Make sure you eat enough food to keep your body from experiencing hormone imbalances; eating too little (fewer than 1200 calories a day) reduces the amount of the fat-burning hormone leptin in your body, which will slow down weight loss. And if you're just exercising without changing your diet, you'll spend a lot of time at the gym with little result. Read more about the dieting and exercising formula for reducing belly fat here.
2. Posture Makes Perfect Doing regular posture-building exercises pack a double punch when it comes to busting that belly. Having good posture helps you look slimmer instantly, while sticking to a posture-building routine every day will strengthen your ab muscles, and help get you well on your way to a six-pack. Here are some posture-building moves to help you look like you've dropped five pounds.
3. Fight the Fat Abs exercises will help define those muscles, but don't forget cardio for overall weight loss; otherwise all those sit-ups will go to waste. If you want results fast, try high intensity interval training, which has been proven to be one of the best ways to fight belly fat.
4. De-Stress Having too much stress can lead to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in your body, which can increase the amount of fat you store around your belly. Can't seem to de-stress? Take a few minutes each day to relax with these tips on how to decrease levels of cortisol in your body.
5. Start with Oatmeal The secret to getting flat abs includes a diet that helps shrink that midsection. The best things to eat include foods high in fiber and other foods that help you beat the bloat. Swap your normal breakfast for a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries, for example; the fiber in the oatmeal will aid in digestion, and the antioxidants in blueberries may help you shed ab fat. Find out more on which foods you should be eating to bust that belly here.
6. Drink to Detox It's not in the foods you eat—what you drink can help debloat and flatten your tummy as well, so bottoms up! Drinking a glass of water every morning, for example, will help you alkalize your body—which helps you burn fat and detox your system. Besides lemon water, here are more drinks to add to your routine so you can regularly detox every day.
7. Stay Away From These There are those foods that help slim your middle, and those that make you feel like a bloated balloon. As you continue your ab-flattening workout plan, be sure to avoid foods that cause bloating, like broccoli and cabbage, when things start getting serious. Find more foods that can cause belly bloat here.

Friday, 10 June 2016

How to Have Dirtier Sex than You Ever Imagined

All sex is good sex—in the beginning. When your relationship is fresh, new positions or novel settings are enough to keep you both interested and satisfied.
But as the years pass, it’s all too common to find yourself stuck with a sex life worn edgeless by routine and complacency.
Fortunately, things don’t have to stay that way.
Here, sex and relationships experts offer some sound advice for cranking up the kink and adding a little—or a lot—of spice to your flat-lined sex life. (And for the comprehensive guide on how to have hotter, more satisfying sex, check out How to Pleasure a Woman. You’ll find tons of inspiration for new things to try with your partner, along with step-by-step instructions on how to give her the best orgasm of her life.)
“One person’s wet dream is another’s wet blanket,” says Tracey Cox, a U.K.-based sex expert and best-selling author. If you pull out your new moves in the moment, her startled reaction may frighten you both away from dirty sex for another few years.
Here’s a smarter idea: Discuss your ideas and turn-ons before you hit the lights, Cox stresses.
Start the conversation over a glass of wine at dinner—or in some other setting where you’re both comfortable and relaxed, suggests Sadie Allison, a doctor of human sexuality and author of The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris.
It might be easier to begin this talk with relatively tame fantasies or role-playing ideas—stuff that will ease you both into the idea of new experiences, Allison says. It may also help to ask her what she’s into first. That way, you’re making it about her desires as well as your own, she adds.
When it’s your turn to share, be positive and confident about what you’re into, Cox stresses. If you make a big deal about asking or you look terrified once you make the request, that could freak your girl out or make her nervous, she says.
Also, be clear that you’re not expecting this every time you do it—only once in a while as a change of pace.
“Most people can cope with doing kinky things consistently but irregularly,” says Cox. “Few want to do it every single session.”
And, above all else, don’t force things, Cox warns. If you’ve told her you’re interested in something and she says it’s not for her, putting up a fight won't change her mind. On the other hand, being cool with her refusal might lead her to rethink things and give it a shot.
Watching some porn or reading erotica together may help charge you both up and make it easier to discuss new ideas, Allison says. If that sounds weird, remember, Fifty Shades of Grey wasn’t a blockbuster book because dudes were reading it.
Chances are good your partner’s interested in this stuff even if she’s never discussed it with you. And it’s a lot easier to say “I like that” while watching or reading about sex than it is to describe your fantasy in detail.
Once you’ve agreed on some new moves to try, do your homework, Allison advises. Whether you’re trying anal sex for the first time or introducing a new toy into your bedroom, there are right and wrong ways to go about things. Knowing the pitfalls ahead of time is the easiest way to avoid them.
And unless your fantasies perfectly align, it may help to split your new sex initiatives into “his” nights and “her” nights, Allison recommends. Starting with her desires may be a good way to show her this is about the both of you, and may make her more enthusiastic when it’s your turn.
Kids are a kink-killer, so dropping them with your parents or getting away to a hotel for a night can help you and your partner disconnect from your distractions, Allison says.
(A hotel is also a good idea because new settings can ease your transition into new experiences.)
It’s also smart to set ground rules—how far each of you is prepared to go—and to establish a safe word, Cox advises. (Make your safe word something you would never say by mistake.)
This way, you can be sure you’re both enjoying yourselves and having fun without having to stop every few minutes to ask, “Are you cool with this?”
In the end, remember that your relationship is more important than the experience you’re having in the moment, Cox says.
Give your girl a gentle hug and a kiss afterward, and tell her how much you enjoyed yourself. And, sometime in the next few days, talk about what you both liked—and what you didn’t—to ensure you walk away from the new experience feeling satisfied and willing to try it again soon.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

What Guys REALLY Think When You Masturbate During Sex

It's a touchy subject.
When it comes to sex, we’re perfectly OK with discussing size, timing, and positions we love—but masturbation can seem a little too tough to talk about (even though we’ve been doing it way longer than we’ve been having sex.)
Masturbation is great for both your physical and mental health and a good way to learn about your sexuality. Many women can’t reach orgasm through penetration alone, and are only able to do so when they masturbate. So why not do it during sex?
Well, some women worry that touching themselves during sex might make their partner feel like he’s not enough for her or that he’s not doing it right.
So, I took it upon myself to find out what men really think when a woman gives herself a handy during sex—and if they think it’s hot. My informal poll of about two dozen guys found that most are cool with a woman masturbating during sex, and that they actually enjoy it. Only three guys thought it signaled they may be doing something wrong. (Note to these guys: You’re not.)
Here's what some of the guys had to say:
Hell Yes!
“Hey, why not! More touching, more feeling, more action!” —Kevin, 26
“I think it's her prerogative.” —Achal, 26
“I really like it and want it to happen more often. I’m doing something right and she’s into it.” —Andres, 27
“I think it is the best thing in the world. It’s better than waking up on Christmas morning to fresh chocolate chip pancakes, a winning lotto ticket, and a brand new car.” —Marcelo, 26
“I think it's pretty cool.”  —Jake, 26
“I think it's interesting.” —Cameron, 24
“Whatever. She chose to be naked with me.” —Brandon, 26
“I find it sexy.” —John, 26
“It’s not really a problem. It adds to the experience.” —Brian, 33
“Using my tools or hers?” —Justin, 30
“I don't care, as long as I'm enjoying it and can get off. I’m doing something right and she’s into it.”—Gus, 27
"Don’t care much at all—leaning positive"—Adam, 25
“I don’t care what a chick does as long as it doesn't mess with my rhythm." —Roberto, 30
"I'm totally into a girl getting herself off."—Nic, 26
Maybe, Baby?
“It depends. Some women may need that additional stimulation. Other women may simply like it or think that I like that she masturbates. On the other hand, there is always the possibility that I'm doing something wrong.  If the sex was in a one-night stand context, I wouldn't think of it, but in a relationship I would ask her why she does it.”— Andrew, 29
Hard Pass
“I’d feel offended! She should do that on her own time” —Joshua, 28
“No way! I would want to know what I’m doing wrong! Why am I not pleasuring you the right way? Yes, she should do that on her own time” —Steve, 27
“Nope! Totally not ok. I’m doing something wrong, and we should work on that. It's a complete turn off.” —Ben, 25
For the women out there who have doubts or are too shy to masturbate during sex, talk to your partner, as you can see: Most men actually love it!

Monday, 6 June 2016

Why You Should Sext Your Wife

Could your smartphone hold the secret to a hotter marriage?

A few months ago I met a buddy for a beer after work. As he was settling in, I grabbed his phone.
“I’ll scroll through your photos and ask about them,” I said. “It’s a fast way to catch up.”
“Nope,” he said, snatching it back. “I’ve got dick pics on there.”
When he travels, I learned, he and his wife keep the connubial fires stoked with explicit texts. “You should try it,” he said.
My wife and I just celebrated our 19th anniversary. I love her all the way to the bottom of her heart, as our daughter once said when she was 4 years old.
That daughter is now 9. She’s got a 16-year-old brother. They take a lot of work. Work, too, takes a lot of work.So, sexting. Maybe I should try it, I thought.
I consulted another friend. I said I might cut a hole in a piece of paper and draw a tableau—like the Last Supper—for my penis to peek through.
“Dude, take it seriously,” he advised. “If you want this to work, do it with sincerity.”
A few days later, my wife left town on a business trip. That night, I sent my first sext:
“Remember that time you and I had crazy sex on our dining room table?”
I followed up: “Have you been sitting there, racking your brain, trying to remember it?”
Finally the response came: “Ha no driving.”The next day, after a perfunctory exchange about what time the dog had last been walked, I pivoted.
“Say, unrelated,” I wrote, “but I was thinking about that day many years ago, before we had kids, when you picked me up from the airport and let it be plainly known that you weren’t wearing panties under your skirt.”
“Ha! What a complete non sequitur and fun memory. We used to be crazier,” she wrote.
Me: “It’s true. You’ll recall that we went to the Blue Goose from the airport, and I had to eat an entire meal while stifling a boner.”
No response. The reference to my long-ago stifled boner sat there, unrequited.Six friends attended happy hour that day. I read my efforts aloud.
“Who says ‘you’ll recall’ in a sext?” one guy asked. “You sound like a lawyer addressing a hostile witness.”
Another: “You ‘stifled a boner’? It’s like NBA coaches miked up in huddles, talking for the TV audience and not the players.”
Their mockery was interrupted when my screen lit up: “Are you working on an article?”
Hooting and hollering ensued. I needed to send a dick pic now, they agreed. One said, “Text her: ‘Does this answer your question?’”
Have you ever tried to cultivate an erection in a bathroom stall in a bar, during daylight hours, without assistance?
Anyway, I sent the photo, along with their suggested message, and was immediately consumed by a level of fear and shame I’d never felt before.
Would she think I’d lost my mind? Or, worse, would she think I had made her the brunt of a joke?
I returned to looks of disbelief at the table. Several minutes passed, and then came her response: “Ummm.”
Not “yummm.” Ummm.
I read her text aloud. One buddy quoted Otter, from Animal House. “You can’t spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes,” he said. “You fucked up! You trusted us!”
Later, I fessed up.
Yes, it was an experiment. But my heart was in the right place, along with my penis. The memory of that ride home from the airport is one I’ll never forget. Sure, we used to be crazier—but still no less in love.
As for sexting? With someone as inept as I am driving the show, it was never going to work. And for me and my wife, texting is all about coordinating the daily demands of married life.
One more thing. When I explained myself that night, my wife said, “You tell them I figured it out,” she said. “I sussed out your little experiment. I’m too smart for that.”
And that’s why I look forward to our 20th.