The Major Negative Effect of Drinking Ice Water You Didn't Know, Study Says

 This summer staple could leave you feeling worse for wear, experts say.

When the weather is hot, there are few things more refreshing than quenching your thirst with a glass of ice cold water. Of course, it's not just your palate that benefits from keeping a glass of water at hand on hot days—it can also help stave off dehydration and may help reduce symptoms of heat exhaustion if you've been in hot weather for a prolonged period of time, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).However, research suggests that that icy beverage could have some serious drawbacks when it comes to your health, too. Before you take another sip, read on to find out the surprising negative effect of drinking ice water, according to science.

Drinking ice water may increase your risk of headaches.

If you find yourself plagued by regular headaches, you may want to opt for room temperature water instead of ice-cold water this summer. According to a 2001 study published in the journal Cephalalgia, among a group of 669 women studied, 51 reported developing a headache after drinking approximately 5 oz. of ice water through a straw. The study's authors explained that it was the cold stimulus to the study subjects' palate that was likely to have caused this effect.A 2019 review of research published in Current Neurology and Neuroscience Reports found that ice water actually has a more pronounced effect on pain stimulus than ice itself. "Ice water appears to provoke more frequent and higher pain intensity with a shorter latency" compared to cold stimulus pain related to ice cubes, the authors wrote.

People who experience migraines are more likely to experience this effect.

While headaches can happen to anyone, migraine sufferers may be more likely to suffer the ill effects of drinking ice water than those unafflicted by the condition.According to the Cephalalgia study, women who had suffered from at least one migraine attack in the 12 months prior to the study period were twice as likely to develop a headache after consuming the ice water.

Drinking through a straw may worsen the effects of ice water.

If you want to avoid developing regular headaches, but just can't imagine drinking water without ice in it, giving up the straw in your glass may be a good first step toward being pain-free. In a 2012 study published in the FASEB Journal, as a means of determining the exact mechanism by which ice cream headaches develop, study subjects were specifically directed to drink ice water with a straw against their palate.According to the study's authors, cold stimuli applied to the palate can cause a sudden increase in blood flow to the brain's anterior cerebral artery, causing brain freeze, which study author Jorge Serrador, Ph.D., an associate professor in the Department of Pharmacology, Physiology & Neuroscience at Rutgers University, posited might be similar to what occurs when people experience migraines. However, by limiting direct contact between cold stimuli and the soft palate, both brain freeze and longer lasting headaches may be avoided.

Increasing your overall water consumption may reduce headache prevalence.

While pounding ice water may make your headaches worse, that doesn't mean you should skimp on the clear stuff to avoid headache pain this summer—just maybe drink it at a slightly warmer temperature.According to a 2005 control trial published in the European Journal of Neurology, among a group of eighteen migraine sufferers, those who increased their water intake by 1.5 liters per day decreased the time they spent experiencing headaches by 21 hours over a two-week period and reported lower headache intensity.

Sarah Crow

42 Questions to Ask on a Second Date

 Because no one really cares about the weather.

Have you experienced this dating conundrum before? Scenario: This second date is going wonderfully, you think as you sip a glass of Syrah. Your stomach is filled with butterflies. You inwardly swoon as you notice that your legs are touching. As your date finishes their story about backpacking through Thailand, suddenly things take a turn from engaging to an awkward, uncomfortable silence. In this moment (that you think stretches on forever), you find that you don't know what to say next.Unexpected, lingering silences can quickly go from inconvenient to embarrassing and have the potential to ruin a great date, so it's best to be prepared. If you're worried about these sudden lulls on a date, we've compiled a list of conversation-starting questions you can keep in your proverbial back pocket. Turn to these ice breakers as inspiration to keep the conversation going. One rule of thumb: Questions should be light, fun, and evoke interesting answers.

That said, scroll down for 42 questions to ask on a date.

  1.What's your favorite color, and why?

  2.What sport did you play in high school?

  3.If you could learn anything, what would you choose, and why?

  4.What were the holidays like in your house growing up?

  5.If you were an animal, what would you be?

  6.Where do you like to shop for clothes?

  7.What television shows are you into right now?

  8.What kind of cake do you eat on your birthday?

  9.Which sports teams do you follow?

 10.What was your most memorable vacation?

 11.Who in your family are you closest to?

 12.What was your most epic Halloween costume?

 13.Do you like to cook?

 14.What's your go-to recipe for a busy weeknight?

 15.Where have you always wanted to travel?

 16.If you had to drink only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

 17.Do you like to swim in the ocean?

 18.Do you collect anything?

 19.What book is currently on your nightstand?

 20.Have you seen any good movies lately?

 21.What does your ideal celebratory feast look like?

 22.Which movie or TV show character do you most identify with?

 23.Where is your happy place?

 24.What does your perfect Saturday consist of?

 25.Do you prefer coffee or tea?

 26.What is something you're bad at?

 27.What are you dying to try?

 28.What is your hidden talent?

 29.What is your favorite childhood memory?

 30.When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

 31.What Spotify station are you currently rocking?

 32.Are you a cat person or a dog person?

 33.What's your morning coffee order?

 34.How do you typically celebrate your birthday?

 35.What are your pet peeves?

 36.Do you have any irrational fears?

 37.What's your favorite dessert?

 38.What's the worst date you've ever been on?

 39.What destination intimidates you, yet interests you enough to want to visit?

 40.If you could grab drinks or dine with anyone in the world (dead or alive), who would it be?

 41.Do you have any quirky habits?

 42.Which book has changed your life?

By Editors

If You See This in the Ocean, Don't Go In, Shark Experts Warn

 These seemingly innocuous creatures could be an indication that sharks are lurking nearby.

Now that most COVID restrictions have been lifted in the U.S. and temperatures are rising to, in some cases, record-breaking heights, more and more people are looking to enjoy some time at the beach. But even if you're no longer concerned about the coronavirus the next time you head to the beach, that doesn't mean you should throw all caution to the wind. The ocean can still pose some seasonal risks, and experts warn that seeing a few subtle red flags in particular in the water means you should not go in at all, because sharks could be nearby. Read on to find out what to keep your eye out for during your next beach trip.

If you see birds diving or fish jumping, don't go in the ocean.

Chuck Bangley, PhD, a marine biologist and researcher at Dalhousie University, told Eyewitness News 11 in North Carolina that the main thing you should look for before going in the ocean is any animals that sharks like to feast on. "Some of the best advice that I can give is just be aware of your surroundings," Bangley said. "Sharks are generally really good at what they do. They're capable of identifying things that are and are not on the menu."The good news is, you're likely not on the menu. According to the University of Florida's International Shark Attack Files (ISAF), in 2020, there were 57 instances of unprovoked shark bites on humans and 39 provoked bites worldwide, proving getting bitten by a shark is a rare event.But if you're scared of what could be lurking in the ocean, Bangley says to keep an eye on birds and fish. "If you see birds diving or fish jumping, that could be an indicator that a larger predator, perhaps a shark, could be attempting to prey upon a school of fish," Eyewitness News says. In short, the best way to avoid a bite from a shark is to "stay out of the food chain," as Forbes explains.Bangley also says to avoid swimming or surfing near fishing areas and piers, as the smell of bait or a struggling fish can attract sharks.

And if you see seals in the ocean, you also shouldn't go in.

A group of seals in the ocean may look harmless and even cute, but the reality is far from it. Not only can seals themselves be dangerous, but they're another one of sharks' favorite snacks. Greg Skomal, a Marine Fisheries biologist and shark researcher, told the Boston Herald that sharks hunt seals in shallow parts of the ocean as long as there is at least five to six feet of water.And sharks can mistake humans for seals—especially if you're already near a group of them. "If you're foolish enough to go swimming among a group of seals frolicking in the shallows, then you're putting yourself at risk. There's no question about that," Bob Hueter, chief scientist at OCEARCH, an organization that collects and tracks shark data, told Forbes.

Experts say great white shark sightings have increased recently in the U.S.

According to experts, shark sightings, especially great whites, are on the rise in the U.S. right now. "This is summertime, and this is when people get bitten," Hueter warned. "The first thing to remember is that the ocean is a wild place."Though they're hitting both the east and west coasts lately, great white sharks are more prevalent in some areas than others. A 1,400 pound great white shark was tracked along the Jersey Shore recently, and a California surfer had to be hospitalized after being bitten by a great white shark off the San Francisco Bay Area coast. OCEARCH is currently tracking 70 sharks in real-time, and the organization reports that, in addition to those states, several great white sharks have been tagged off the coasts of South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, New York, Massachusetts, and Maine.

Up to half of all shark attacks can be attributed to great white sharks.

According to National Geographic, great white sharks usually cause a third to half of all shark attacks reported worldwide every year. The University of Florida's ISAF found that great white sharks were involved in at least 16 unprovoked shark bites in 2020, including six of the year's 10 fatalities. In the U.S., one swimmer was killed by a great white shark in California and another was killed by the species in Maine last year."I think the frequency of white sharks swimming in the same places as humans may be on the rise, but if so, we don't yet know the cause," Gavin Naylor, director of the Florida Museum of Natural History's shark research program, said in a statement.But ultimately, Hueter says that there are bigger concerns for beachgoers. "Recognize that you face much greater risks when you go swimming in the ocean from things like undertows and rip currents and lightning, which kill more people than sharks ever do," he told Forbes. And the numbers back that up. According to statistics from the ISAF, beachgoers are more than 100 times more likely to drown in the ocean than get bitten by a shark, per Forbes.

Kali Coleman

5 Key Reasons You Can’t Find Love, According to Experts

 It's time to be honest with yourself.

Falling in love with someone can be one of the most wonderful and miraculous feelings that you can experience in your entire life. It's a truly magical feeling, and it's not surprising that there are countless songs, poems, and renowned pieces of literature that all try to capture the elation and thrill of falling head over heels. In fact, it often seems like the entire world revolves around the idea of falling in love. But it’s not always as easy as they make it seem in the movies, even when online dating is literally at our fingertips. But sometimes it feels like the harder you try, the further you are from finding a lasting connection, and you keep asking yourself, “Why can’t I find love?”"The first step in changing any dating pattern is getting to the root from which the issue stems," says Roxy Zarrabi, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships. The truth is that there can be many different reasons why love hasn’t come your way yet, but the good news is that it can, and more importantly, it will. Read on to learn about the top five reasons you may be struggling to find love, and what you can do to break free from the pattern.

You’re Picking Unavailable People

If you were to look back at your dating history, how would you characterize the people you’ve been with? "If you consciously want a lasting relationship but keep getting a different result, you may be subconsciously drawn to unavailable partners," says Zarrabi. In other words, the reason you haven’t found love yet could be that you’re choosing to be with people who can’t really give you what you need and deserve.

"If you consciously want a lasting relationship but keep getting a different result, you may be subconsciously drawn to unavailable partners."

For instance, you may find yourself drawn to men who don’t want to be tied down or to women who are only interested in a fling or being friends with benefits. And rather than being able to enjoy a deep, meaningful, and committed relationship with someone, you’re selecting to be with people who aren’t looking to be with someone for the long-term—a classic form of self-sabotage.If finding love is truly a priority for you, Zarrabi recommends making a list of red flags that previous partners exhibited that tipped you off that they were emotionally unavailable. Review the list often, especially when dating someone new, and keep an eye out for the signs. She also suggests evaluating your own attachment style and the attachment style of partners you're typically drawn to in order to gain insight into how and why you might be repeating the same mistakes over again. Self-awareness can help you choose to be with someone who wants the same things you do and increase your chances of falling in love.

You’re Afraid of Getting Hurt

Breakups can be devastating, and if you’ve been hurt or betrayed by someone in the past, it can be quite challenging to press the restart button and open up to someone new. "Perhaps you consciously want commitment, but deep down you fear true intimacy, losing your sense of self in the relationship, or getting hurt," says Zarrabi.But in order to find true love, you have to let yourself be vulnerable again, as it’s the only way for this deep and personal connection to take place. When you put up walls, keep your partner at arm’s length, and refuse to let them get close to you, this means you’ll never be able to find love because your connection will never move beyond a shallow and superficial level. The reality is that you have to risk getting hurt in order to find love, and even if it seems difficult to trust someone with your heart again, it's worth taking this leap of faith.If you're struggling to move past these feelings, make sure you're looking forward instead of back. "When you are healing from a prior failed relationship or even from a series of them, keep in mind there is no such thing as false hope when going forward," says psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. "But to help your hope along, it is important to realize that you are STILL the one in control of your relationship destiny going forward."

You Don’t Think You Deserve It

Confidence and self-esteem play a vital role when it comes to love. However, many people are unable to find love because they don’t think they’re worthy of having it. These types of beliefs often have roots reaching as far back as early childhood and can have a huge impact on our lives.If you’re someone who struggles with low self-esteem and intense feelings of self-doubt, it’s time to recognize that this lack of confidence is affecting your behavior and keeping others at bay. "Bringing these beliefs and associated feelings into conscious awareness and practicing affirmations that counteract these beliefs can be a key step in deprogramming these beliefs," recommends Zarrabi. Repeat after me: You are worth it. It can also be beneficial to explore these feelings with the help of a therapist or counselor.

"Bringing these beliefs and associated feelings into conscious awareness and practicing affirmations that counteract these beliefs can be a key step in deprogramming these beliefs"

Though it isn't easy, by changing your outlook and choosing to focus on the positives in your life rather than the negatives, you’ll be better able to see that you’re a special and amazing person who deserves true happiness and love. Put another way: "Know your value!" says Bernstein. "If you do then that alone will help you find a healthy partner because you will stay determined to find someone who accepts and treasures you for who you are." When you’re able to see and believe that you’re worth it, others will be drawn to your upbeat energy and positive vibes, and love is more likely to come your way as well.

You’re Settling

When it comes to finding love, it’s important to set high standards for yourself. Rather than being with someone because you’re afraid of living alone or because you’ve been together for a prolonged period of time, you should choose to be with someone because he or she makes you happy, as this is the only way to find true love. If you’re choosing to be with your partner for the wrong reasons, whether it’s based on money, convenience, or a lack of other options, love will not come your way because your connection isn’t based on anything meaningful or substantial. In order for true love to enter your life, it’s imperative that you place a priority on finding someone who has the qualities that are actually important in a relationship, such as shared morals, values, and life goals.Nor should you expect someone to change for you. Bernstein says to remember that while people can sometimes surprise us, generally what you see is what you get. "Don't make the mistake of unfairly expecting someone you like to be more like the way you want them to be." Sticking around in the hopes that someone will change for the better will likely only lead to disappointment.None of this is to say that you should have an exhaustive list of must-haves in a potential mate. In fact, being open to people you might not consider "your type" could lead to more success than not, especially if you have a history of choosing the wrong partners. Zarrabi warns against discounting someone if you don't feel an immediate spark—especially if that spark has led you down the wrong road in the past. "Try to keep an open mind and go out with this person on a few dates to see if there is potential for a genuine connection to grow between the two of you," she suggests. Sometimes the best match might be the one you least expect.

You’re Not Putting Yourself Out There

From a young age, we're taught by movies, books, and the likes that love will find us—it will just fall out of the sky and we'll know when it's right. And as lovely as that sounds, it's not true for most of us. Finding love takes real work. Remind yourself that it's a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more people you meet and get to know, and the more you push yourself out of your comfort zone, the more likely you are to find love. However, if you go to the same bars every weekend, resist joining a dating app, and don’t actively take more opportunities to try to meet others, you’re hurting your chances of finding someone of interest.By spicing up your routine and putting yourself in the dating world in new ways, this can help put the odds in your favor and enable you to find someone with whom you truly connect. When you prioritize dating and say “yes” to new activities, pastimes, and pursuits, you’re one step closer to finding love.?

Stacey Laura Lloyd

If You See This, Get Out of the Pool Immediately, Experts Warn

 Don't stay in the water if you see this one thing.

There's nothing more refreshing than a dip in a pool on a hot summer day. But, as much as you probably don't want to think of them, there are certain factors that could make your swim session a safety risk. From insufficient chlorine levels to slippery steps to deadly drowning, it's probably not news to you that pools can put you in jeopardy if you're not careful. But there is one thing you may not realize means it's not safe to be in the pool at all—and you need to vacate immediately. To find out what you need to avoid in the pool to stay safe, read on.

If you see lightning or hear thunder, get out of the pool right away.

You may not think much of it if you see a rain drop hit the pool when you're swimming, but it's important to be aware of how quickly a storm can escalate, specifically when lightning and thunder are involved. Safety experts caution swimmers and pool owners that as soon as a storm turns electrical, there's a serious risk of electrocution to anyone in the water, and the pool should be vacated with immediate effect at the first sign of the weather turning."Swimming during a thunderstorm is one of the most dangerous things you can do," the experts at Sunsational Swim School explain. "Lightning regularly strikes water, and since water conducts electricity, a nearby lightning strike could kill or injure you. Any time you hear thunder, or see lightning, you should get out of the water and into a safe place."

You are a likely conduit for electricity in the pool.

Ron Holle, research meteorologist at NOAA National Severe Storms Laboratory, explained to USA Today that while swimming pools are small and not likely to be directly hit by lightning, "the area affecting a pool is quite large."Power lines, telephone lines, and plumbing around the pool "are usually unsafe places during a thunderstorm because the current from a lightning strike will travel easily through the standing water, showers, and other plumbing. Since the pump, lights, and other facilities have power lines linked to the plumbing, a hit to any part of a pool complex can affect all of it," Holle says.Plumbing expert Ray Brosnan previously told Best Life that "if lightning strikes, the electrical current will follow the path it finds with the least resistance all the way down to the ground. That means if your body is the best conductor in the vicinity, it'll travel through you too." He adds: "When you are wet, the natural resistance your body has to lightning is slashed in half."

It can be difficult to gauge how close a storm is, so it's best not to swim in the rain.

Normal levels of background noise and conversation can mean the difference between hearing thunder when it's up to 25 miles away, or when it's just a few miles from your pool. The ability of lightning to strike from anywhere in this range of distance means that if the storm is not visibly overhead, stray bolts can still hit you. The experts at Sunsational Swim School note that "even if current lightning is a few miles away, lightning can pop up in new parts of the storm very quickly." So it's best to get out of the pool as soon as you seen rain start to fall.The safety guide from Pool Troopers, a national pool company, says "many pool owners easily misjudge the distance of lightning because it may seem very far away."Typically, Holle says you can hear thunder about 10 miles away, but "in a noisy place, if the wind is blowing, or it is raining, thunder can only be heard for few miles." And while you may be able to see lightning up to 80 miles away on a clear night, during the day, you can't see lightning more than 10 or 20 miles in the distance, he explains."If you hear thunder, you're always in the range of lightning," the experts at Pool Troopers point out. "That does not mean that lightning can't reach you if you can't hear thunder, however. If you know a storm is in the area get out of the water even if you don't hear thunder."

You should head inside a building or car and wait at least 30 minutes post-storm to swim.

If you're at a pool in someone's yard with a pergola or other similar shelter, that's not far enough away or enclosed enough to consider yourself safe. The National Weather Service explains that "buildings with exposed sides are NOT safe (even if they are "grounded"). These include beach shacks, metal sheds, picnic shelters/pavilions, carports, and baseball dugouts. Porches are dangerous as well."Once indoors, be sure to stay away from any windows, doors, or concrete floors or walls. Concrete sits atop metal decking, which can easily conduct electricity. "Lightning can travel through any metal wires or bars in concrete walls or flooring," the CDC says.If you can't get inside a safe building, a car is the next best spot to be. Holle points out that a lightning threat typically "lasts less than an hour. So, instead of leaving [the pool] for the day, it would seem reasonable to wait in the car or another lightning-safe place until the thunderstorm has passed, then return."He suggests waiting at least 30 minutes to go back in the pool. "We recommend a 30-minute wait after the last flash or thunder. The two together provide the basis for the '30-30 rule'. The first 30 is for the 30-second flash-to-bang time when a safe place should have been reached. The other 30 is for the 30 minutes' wait after the last lightning or thunder," he says.

John Quinn

If You Notice This on a Hot Day, Call 911 Immediately, Experts Warn

 This surprising symptom could be your body's way of warning you about a deadly condition.

If you feel like you're more susceptible to hot weather these days and need to take extra special care on a summer day, it's not your mind playing tricks on you. For one thing, the earth keeps getting hotter (just take a look at the research provided by The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)!). Secondly, as we get older we become more vulnerable to the heat."As we age, our ability to adequately respond to summer heat can become a serious problem," reports the National Institutes of Health (NIH). "Older people are at a significantly increased risk of heat-related illnesses, known collectively as hyperthermia, during the summer months."Read on to learn what surprising symptom could be a red flag that you're experiencing hyperthermia—and why you should seek help immediately if you notice it.

Hyperthermia has three distinct stages.

The three main stages of hyperthermia are heat cramps, heat exhaustion, and heatstroke. While you may not associate muscle pain and spasms with dehydration and heat-related conditions, heat cramps are "painful, involuntary muscle spasms that usually occur during heavy exercise in hot environments," according to the Mayo Clinic. "The spasms may be more intense and more prolonged than are typical nighttime leg cramps," their experts write.Heat exhaustion, the next main stage of hyperthermia, may manifest with heavy sweating, a weak pulse, nausea, and fatigue, among other symptoms. If heat exhaustion progresses to heatstroke, the condition can be fatal.Some of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heatstroke overlap: Other signs include headache, confusion, rapid heart rate, nausea or vomiting, and loss of consciousness, according to Beaumont Health.

Your body needs fluids in order to produce sweat.

If you're overheated, you're drenched with sweat—right? Not necessarily. It's true that your body cools itself by producing sweat. "When your internal temperature rises, your sweat glands release water to the surface of your skin," explains Healthline. "As the sweat evaporates, it cools your skin and your blood beneath your skin."But if you're dangerously hot, your body may not be able to regulate your temperature using its tried-and-true method of cooling off with sweat."When the body's temperature increases very quickly, it is unable to compensate using its usual cooling mechanisms such as sweating," warns Donna Schisler, RN, BSN, Clinical Manager at Advantis Medical. "Many times, this is brought on by spending too much time in the heat and becoming dehydrated."That's because people frequently forget, or are unable, to stay adequately hydrated in severe heat—and fluids are needed in order to replace the water the body loses in the heat.

Heatstroke is the final stage of hyperthermia.

Approximately 700 people die of heat-related conditions each year in the U.S., according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), with 90 percent of these deaths occurring between May and September."Heatstroke is deadly and can quickly result in injury and death without treatment," Schisler warns. "During heatstroke, the body loses the ability to regulate its temperature due to outside factors such as humidity or temperatures that are so high that sweating is inadequate."Being mindful of the heat is the first step in preventing hyperthermia. Many people in a hot environment don't always remember to hydrate or take breaks to cool off. It's also important to know the signs of heat-related conditions—which may surprise you. You might associate being overheated with heavy perspiration. But not sweating can be your body's way of telling you that you're in serious danger.

Staying hydrated is one way to keep the healthy sweat flowing.

Making sure to drink fluids—as well as knowing which fluids to stay away from—is an essential component in preventing heat stroke and other stages of hyperthermia. "During physically strenuous activities, drink fluids such as sports drinks that contain electrolytes and salt to replace the minerals your body has sweat out," advises Schisler, adding that it's best to stay away from alcohol and sugary drinks.Schisler also recommends checking the temperature before you go outside, especially in the summer, and using air conditioning when the heat is above 90 degrees. "A fan is not sufficient to avoid heatstroke," she warns. "If you need to go out during the afternoon when the sun is strongest, dress appropriately with flowy, light-colored clothing, wide brimmed hats, and bring an umbrella for shade. Wear sunscreen when in the sun, as the body cannot regulate temperature appropriately when sunburned."

Luisa Colón

End a First Date the Right Way With These 3 Tips

 Going on a first date can be exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. Will the two of you hit it off? Will you have a lot in common? Will the conversation flow? While you may be spending all of your time and energy thinking about how you should act when you're on a first date, it's just as important to consider how to end a date, too.Whether you're meeting a blind date for coffee, having dinner with a friend that you're newly romantic with, or something in between, the last few minutes of your encounter can often be the biggest impression you leave someone with. No matter how the date turns out, it’s important to understand how to end a first date the right way so that you’re being your best self—whether it was the best or worst first date that you’ve ever had in your life. After all, you may leave the date truly wanting to see this person again, and the last thing you want to do is self-sabotage by sending the wrong signals.Before heading out the door to meet your date, consider these tips on how to avoid sending the wrong message at the end of the outing.

Express Your Gratitude 

If you want to win big points when you end a first date, as well as do the right and polite thing, you should always remember to say, “thank you.” It may be that they paid for your meal or drinks, and you are thanking them for picking up the tab. Your gratitude can extend beyond a financial dependence, though. You could be thanking them for their time, especially if they had to drive across town or struggled with parking. Gratitude goes a long way, whether the date was good or bad."Be positive," says psychologist Martin Graff. "Even if the date doesn’t go well, you will at least leave a favorable impression. Remember they are associating you with the situation, and it is possible to be found attractive by association with a positive experience."The bottom line is that ending a first date on a positive note by thanking this person for coming and meeting up with you is a simple gesture that can go a long way. Even if you don’t want to see this person again, or if you had a frustrating day prior to the date, or if you simply don’t care about the impression you make, it's always a good idea to be well-mannered. You may not fall in love at first sight, but it is just as important not to give anyone reason to hate you after you go because you were rude.

Try to Set Up the Next Date

According to psychologist Marty Nemko, another important tip when ending a first date is to try and lock down the second date before you leave. "If you’d like to see the person again, make a date right then or at least specify when you’ll be back in touch. It’s rude to leave a person hanging."While you may be used to speaking in generalities with phrases such as, “We should do this again sometime,” or “It’d be fun to meet up again at some point,” you shouldn’t hesitate to take it a step further and get into specifics regarding your next date. This technique can also be a helpful indicator regarding your date’s feelings for you. If they're eager to see you again then you are more likely to leave a first date with concrete plans; if they seem unsure, vague, or uninterested, you might not want to invest the time.

Be Kind No Matter How You Feel

Speaking of not wanting to see your date again, it’s always in your best interest to be kind and respectful when ending a first date. Even if you had a terrible time, were counting down the minutes until the date ended, and would have loved to tell your date exactly how you felt, it’s still better to put your best self forward and act in a kindhearted way.There is a certain amount of benefit of the doubt that you have to give someone, especially if this was a blind date or set up via the internet or an app. Your inclination may be to point out that they do not look like their profile pictures, or that they come off as conceited, or that they are simply boring, but instead you should always opt for maturity. You can end the date by saying, “Take care,” rather than saying, “Take a hike!”It's also important that you don't lead someone on and give false hope. For example, while they may want to set up a specific time and location for the next date, it's unkind to make specific plans and then cancel them later. "If the other person puts you on the spot by suggesting another date, smile and say something like, 'I have enjoyed meeting you but I don’t see any possibilities here.Of course, if you're nervous about turning them down on the spot, just say you'll let them know. This can also be an important safety tactic, as some people can take rejection badly. Maybe the reason the date didn't go well was because you got an unsettling feeling. Use your best judgment and, when in doubt, always put your safety over politeness.When it comes to dating, it's best practice to follow the golden rule and treat others how you'd like to be treated.

Stacey Laura Lloyd