To find a true lover who can give you real love, you have to know what true love is. To attract and keep him/her, you have to give a genuine love in return. Knowing how to distinguish pure love from false love will give you wisdom on building a long-lasting relationship and avoiding the toxic ones. Such insight will also keep you away from futile suffering due to loving the wrong person. Moreover, it will prevent you from hurting people and being guilty of not giving the right love.
20 Differences Between True Love and Fake Love
Here are 20 differences between true love and fake love that you must know.
1. True love makes sacrifices; fake love is only a concern of itself.
True love is selfless. Though it doesn’t neglect itself, it is ready to make big sacrifices just to make someone truly happy. On the other hand, fake love is selfish, as it only cares for itself.
2. True love rejoices in the truth; fake love hides in the darkness of lies.
True love enjoys living an honest life. It cannot be comfortable with lies. It takes away your doubts and insecurities, as it always shows honesty and transparency. On the other hand, fake love takes pleasure in making lies. It is afraid to get near the light. It lives in the darkness and offers no enlightenment.
3. True love is kind; fake love is cruel.
True love has a big heart. It’s generous and compassionate. It will give you love and care more than what you deserve. On the other hand, fake love is heartless. It will give you pain and bad treatment you don’t even deserve.
4. True love is patient; fake love is short-tempered.
True love can endure and forgive your faults and shortcomings. It will reasonably give you many chances and wait until you change for the better. On the other hand, fake love is easily angered when you make mistakes. It will quickly judge and punish you without even hearing your explanations.
5. True love is humble; fake love is proud.
True love acts with humility. It’s not interested in taking credits for itself. It admits its own mistakes and even takes responsibility for the faults of others. It can let itself down to lift people up. On the other hand, fake love is boastful. It’s a credit grabber and excessively proud of itself. It doesn’t admit its own mistakes but rather blames them on others.
6. True love feels fulfilled; fake love feels empty.
True love feels complete. It feels like it already has nothing to wish for. It always enjoys every moment with you as it considers its dreams as new realities. On the other hand, fake love is not happy with you. It’s greedy and unsatisfied. It always wants to have something more, something different.
7. True love is grateful; fake love is envious.
True love values its current possessions. It feels thankful and blessed to have you. It treasures what it receives from you, whether they are big or small. On the other hand, fake love is filled with envy. It belittles your presence. It doesn’t treasure your gifts. It always feels unlucky with you, and it is always jealous of people whom it thinks have more possessions than it has.
8. True love is joyful; fake love is bitter.
True love has a cheerful heart. Its mind is filled with positivity. It feels happy to see others happy. On the other hand, fake love has a heart filled with bitterness. Its mind is filled with negativity. It always thinks that the world is unfair. It usually holds a grudge against you and the people around you.
9. True love is respectful; fake love is rude.
True love will respect your opinions, decisions, and even your ambitions. It will also honor you as a person. On the other hand, fake love is arrogant. It doesn’t care about what you think and what you feel. It considers you as an inferior person who’s not worthy of any consideration.
10. True love protects; fake love hurts.
True love may give you pain, but it always protects you from anything that will make you suffer in the long run. It will defend you from things that will corrupt you. It will shield your relationship against things that will hinder its growth. On the other hand, fake love will give you false satisfaction, which only lasts for a short time. Eventually, it will give you a toxic relationship and destroy you as a person.
11. True love is righteous; fake love is foolish.
True love is wise and mature. It is discreet in making decisions and actions. On the other hand, fake love is a fool. It is childish and narrow-minded. Its actions are reckless, inconsiderate, and only based on its self-righteousness.
12. True love knows and understands you; fake love just doesn’t get it.
True love knows you as a person. It makes efforts to know everything about you so it can love you even better. It understands you even before you say any word, as it can read your mind and feel your emotions. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t care about your thoughts and feelings. Thus, it doesn’t have any idea what’s going on with you.
13. True love trusts; fake love doubts too much.
True love has confidence in you. It trusts your decisions and actions. It is positive for you. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t trust you. Its heart and mind are exceedingly filled with negativities about you.
14. True love is loyal; fake love is a cheater.
True love has a strong commitment to you. It will avoid temptations and will never try to cheat on you. On the other hand, fake love is always and will always be a cheater.
15. True love is faithful; fake love is unbelieving.
True love depends and believes in you despite your weaknesses and shortcomings. On the other hand, fake love needs to have 100% assurance that you are dependable before relying on or believes in you.
16. True love is hopeful; fake love easily gives up.
True love includes you in its future and sees you as a person it wants to be with for the rest of its life. That is why it never gives up fighting for you and your relationship. On the other hand, fake love has no permanent plans for you. Thus, it doesn’t treat you as important, and it easily gives up on you.
17. True love acts with trembling; fake love just doesn’t care.
True love is not just all talk and promises. It’s not even all about mere actions. True love acts with passion, excitement, and energy. It always wants the best for you. It is afraid to let you down. On the other hand, fake love is nonchalant towards you. It always leaves you with excuses instead of fulfilling its obligations to you.
18. True love loves itself; fake love hates itself.
True love loves you, but it never forgets to love itself. It always wants to be healthy in mind, body, and soul to give you a healthier and stronger relationship. On the other hand, fake love doesn’t care about its own welfare. It selfishly hurts itself to the point of self-destruction, giving you more pain and problems your relationship doesn’t deserve.
19. True love grows a relationship; fake love makes it sick and toxic.
True love always seeks personal development and growth for your relationship. It serves as a role model. It always inspires and motivates you to be a better person. On the other hand, fake love loves fighting and heated arguments. It doesn’t know how to settle things calmly. It toxifies your relationship and destroys your good life.
20. True love lasts forever; fake love dies.
True love stays forever. It’s more than physical and material. It lives on even lovers are already apart or even after they die. The great story of true love and the true lovers’ big sacrifices continue to inspire people, generation by generation. On the other hand, fake love is only after the flesh. It lives shortly, and its story is easily forgotten.
15 Signs of Fake Love
1. Mood swings
2. He only shows up when you’re needed
3. You do things according to his time
4. No deep conversations
5. Not interested in your life
6. He’s hiding you
7. He doesn’t want you to ask questions about him
8. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends
9. He plays with your feelings and emotions
10. Empty promises
11. He pressures you into bed
12. He treats other girls badly
13. He makes you feel insecure about yourself
14. He does not care about you at all
15. You feel it in your gut
How to Identify True Love?
What is the point of committing to a relationship if there is no assurance that what you and your partner feel for each other is real love? A relationship that is only founded on attraction, convenience, or lust may not last a long time. It may even cause you more headaches than inspiration.
To help you on how to identify true love in your relationship, here are 12 clues you should watch out for:
1. Attraction: Beyond the physical
Have you ever asked yourself why you like your partner? If your honest answer is his/her being good-looking, then it is probably not true love yet. It could be mere infatuation or the pride of being with a head-turner.
Genuine love is not based on physical appearance. You love a person regardless of how s/he looks like because it is not about what your eyes see. It is about what your heart sees. What matters more is how the person means to you.
2. Priority: The other person always goes first
True love is selfless. You know it is pure love when you think first of his/her needs before yours. For you, it is alright if you get hungry as long as your partner gets full. You set your wants aside to consider what makes him/her happy.
If you and your partner always consider each other first, then your relationship could last a lifetime. You would be happy serving each other, and being together would be a blessing instead of a burden.
3. Duration: It lasts a lifetime
If your relationship lasts till death do you part, then that is when you could confirm that what you have is true love. That means the two of you have decided to stay by each other’s side despite differences, temptations and flaws.
Imagine spending decades with one person. Only true love can keep the affection for a very long time despite aging looks and irksome attitudes. If you do not love the person, you would not even picture out being with him/her for the rest of your life.
4. Qualification: None
Real love does not require eligibility nor requirements. It simply accepts the person as who s/he is. You love a person not because s/he is a university graduate, but simply because you want to be with him/her no matter what.
It is okay to push your partner to achieve something or aim for higher goals. However, just make sure that your motive is not selfish—like impressing your friends.
5. Distance: It survives
True love can survive a long-distance relationship. It is because love is not determined by the physical presence of the other person. It goes beyond touch and being able to do things together.
Moreover, the reason why true love can survive long-distance is that it knows how to wait. It is patient and always hopeful of the future. This kind of love is also characterized by the strong trust for each other.
6. Forgiveness: 77×7
Another remarkable trait of true love is that it is always willing to forgive. It gives numerous second chances. The love of the couple is greater than any flaw or mistake committed by each other. How the other person means to them is always more important than his/her failures.
This does not mean they are turning blind eye to their partner’s mistakes though. It is just that since they have accepted the other person as they are, they give allowance for instances of failures. They have patience and grace that keep them hoping for the best in the other person.
7. Background: It does not matter
Since pure love is unconditional, it does not require high profile background. Social status, educational background, culture, and other environmental factors are not a big deal.
This is connected to having neither required eligibilities nor qualifications. You accept your partner no matter where s/he comes from and what s/he has.
8. Patience: It is slow to anger
If you love a person deeply, it is hard to get angry with him/her, right? If s/he has done a mistake, it is normal you would feel hurt and disappointed. However, hate and anger are weaker emotions than your desire to forgive and be reconciled with the person.
I am not saying it is impossible to get mad at someone you love. However, compared to less important people in your life, your rage is always overcome by patience.
9. Personality: It finds ways to complement
Yes, it is better if you find a person whose temperament or personality complements yours. This will lead to a more harmonious relationship, and you get to support each other in your weaknesses.
However, you cannot control love, and sometimes you get to love someone whose personality does not match yours. If this happens, you do not decide to separate ways immediately. Instead, both of you willingly adjust to meet half ways. You sacrifice your own comfort to make the relationship work.
10. History: Does not keep a record of wrongs
One more thing about true love is that it does not keep grudges. After forgiving the other person for any mistake, you are willing to forget and let go of what happened. The next time you have a misunderstanding, you do not bring back the past issues anymore, because you have let go already.
Yes, it is not easy to forget the things that hurt you, but if you truly love your partner, you are willing to set aside your pain to keep your relationship from trust issues, grudges, or anything else that can weaken your relationship.
Just be reminded though that love is different from stupidity. If you know your partner is just fooling you, then s/he is not worth it. Love yourself first.
11. Foundation: Friendship
Not all true loves start with friendship, but all true loves are strengthened by friendship. Attraction and emotion will fade away, but a solid friendship can help you both maintain affection and respect for each other.
If your partner is your best friend, you can be more honest and open with him/her. Trust grows and loyalty becomes easier. You can also be true to yourself with him/her.
12. Commitment: Decision-based
True love is a decision, not a feeling. If your relationship is only based on attraction and emotion, it would be easy to drift away from it when these foundations fade someday. It is because your reasons for staying with the person are gone. However, if you have decided to commit yourself to a person no matter what happens, you exert more conscious effort to stay committed even when surrounded by trials and temptations.
Not everyone succeeds in keeping the relationship last, but the decision of commitment makes it harder for you to give up on your love. This is the reason why it is more difficult for married couples to separate than those who are not—because they have made vows—and they feel responsible to keep their part of the bond. They may fight and even separate for a time, but many get back together after a while.
On the other hand, most unmarried couples feel less liable in their relationship. I am not judging anybody, okay? I am just pointing out what I have observed among the couples surrounding me. Many of those who separated ways do not reconcile anymore, and finding a different partner is quicker for them. And I have also heard from some of them that the reason why they do not get married is that they are not sure if they want to stay together forever. So, once they get tired of each other, it is easier for them to burn bridges, since there is no hassle of divorce or annulment process.
Bottom line
True love may not be perfect, but it perseveres.
True love may not be a perfect kind of love. However, this is the love that is willing to endure harder. It is selfless and humble. It protects and lifts up. It perseveres to overcome flaws and failures. It fights to last.
I hope that this article has given you ideas on how to identify true love and distinguish it from fake ones. Feel free to share this article with your friends and loved ones.
Victorino Q. Abrugar